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Saturday, October 16, 2004


I've been in a pretty great mood for the past couple of days, so I didn't really feel like complaining about all the little things that happened yesterday. But I just can't help but fire my .44 Bitch rifle. I've got quite a bit of ammo.

-Failing two stupidly simple subjects. (French and Geography)

-They banned Pit Bulls in Ontario. (Come on people! An English class full of kids thought of more effective ways to solve the problemt than that. Okay ONT, now ban all the German Shepards, Rottweilers, and Dobermans. Gah.)

-Gonna have to spend at least five hours at arenas this weekend. Just came back from standing around on the ice, watching little midget ragamuffins fall over. Holy. Friggin'. Crap. So boring. Oh well, at least I'm getting community service hours.

-Got PWND in a hockey game last night. It was kind of demoralizing to be on the ice for the majority of the goals. (and playing Defence...Crap.) Also, getting the stupidest, most girliest penalty of all that resulted in a goal is not the best way to make friends with your new team. Poo.

-You know my mom's show? The one I was promoting last post? Well, the trans community freaked out and hated her piece. She's gotten a crapload of anti-semetic feedback claiming that she's a hard-assed conservative fanatic. What the hell?! She claims she just wanted to ask questions that noone else has asked before, for ph33r of being politically incorrect. Ah well, I'm on her side.

Anydangways, I love fall. Fall fall fall.

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004


Some stuff:

1)All you Canadians that have CBC, watch my mom's show tonight at 9:00 p.m whatever time. Resist the urge to watch the debate instead. I mean, guys who are girls are much more interesting than Bush and Kerry, right? >_>

2) ph33r the egg ninja.

3)Who's your favourite blue-haired guy? Alex from GS? Yuan from ToS? Stinkoman? (Xanaphia...but she's not a guy.) Who is the best blue-haired guy ever? We shall see...!


Edit: Dude, whoever watched that show, I'm sorry. Personally, I'm scarred for life. But at least I now know how much male genatlia costs. See? It was worth it.

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Monday, October 11, 2004

   Roll for damage.

Ever tried chugging a glass of Jamaican-style ginger beer? I implore you to try, right after taking a big sniff of it. Do so immediately.

Anyways, onto today's late-breaking news: Samm enjoying a party. WTF?!, you ask? Well, my family and I were invited to consume our Thanksgiving meal at the abode of an antiques dealer. There were approximately 20 guests of approximately seven or eight different cultures present.

After stealing my mother's food, I ventured outside to bask in the fallness and to listen to the fountain and to stare at the apple tree. I was followed out by one of the eight visitors from China. His name was Frank, and he told me about attending York U for eight weeks, teaching English in China, and his cooking talents. My mother soon joined us and the conversation turned to illegal student visas and other such issues.

After eating, I stationed myself in a corner so's that I could observe the guests. Being only disturbed by 1)A guest from India who told me I was 'silent' and 2)a cup of tea, I could watch and listen quite effectively.

Finishing my curried stuff, I walked into the room that I heard "Summertime" eminating from. Everyone soon followed. The American present then sung us a bluesy song he wrote aboot working in China (o_O), and then continued to command all the Chinese present to sing a song. Frank had sung us a lovely pop love song, and the rest sang a folky love song, which led on to the never-ending topic of marriage. The Indian style of the females' parents paying the dowry was compared to the Chinese way of, according to who I later learned was James, the male's parents buying the couple a house. Eheh. >_> <_< >_>

Soon after than I was baracaded into the front foyer of the house and forced to answer several questions about my country, education, and culture. There wasn't so much of a language barrier as a...speed...barrier. Thing. Frank claimed he'd never heard someone speak so fast. >_<" I suck.

Over the course of the night, the guesses of my age ranged from "12?" to "17?" to "are you in high school or college?"
O___O What. The. Hell?

'Twas quite the night. Food+Culture+Fall= Awesome.

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Sunday, October 10, 2004

   Live above morality.

'Twas a rather morbid evening.

I spent the better part of it reading Death Note, which you mustmustmust read. Now.

Quite the brilliant manga. Nothing more entertaining than a good old fashioned battle of wits.

Also finally got my mom in the same room as I for a few hours and subsequently watched Harold and Maude.

I haven't watched a movie so funny in quite a while. This is probably due to the fact I watch few movies. Nevertheless, I recommend this. Good for a laugh.

Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire.

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Tuesday, October 5, 2004

   Oh puppy Goo-Goo, fetch me a dream!

Yes, 'tis I, Shim-Sham-Samm, here to alert you that no, I am not dead, and yes, I will visit your respective sites. Be honoured! HONOURED, I SAY!

In fact, I was just about to ask you how I can manipulate a photo of myself to explain five things about me. Yes, I was just about to ask. Then I found out that I have to go eat food now. And food is more important than you. Bye.


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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

   Zed Zed Top.

Hey ho, 'tis T3h Smma, here to take your written abuse.

Science class has inspired yet another Crazy Scheme. You know how when cell 1's nucleus is removed and placed into cell 2, the cell 1 turns into a cell 2, right? I need co create a weapon or device that alters the nuclei of cells. I'd be all like; "Dude, I'm turning your skin cells into neurons!"

I mean, that idea's almost as brilliant as turning babies into gold.

Got an English assignment back. Apparently, I would've gotten perfect had I answered the question. From what I understand, I got an 'A' because my writing was prettyful, not because of the content. I mean, what the hell?! Ah well, I'll take any good mark I can get from doing an assigment at 11:00 p.m in about an hour. With no editing. Or rough copies. Bwa ha ha! Rough copies, like pants, are for suckahs. SUCKAHS!!!

Holy crap! I just read an article claiming that sushi is banned in Ontario! Apparently it is "a precautionary measure in keeping with practises that have been advocated by Health Canada". What the fuck!? Who the hell's gotten sick fron eating sushi!? Who, I ask you? That's it, I'm moving to Nova Scotia.

She hung up! I'mf going to die alone and nakeds!

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Sunday, September 26, 2004

You turn on the guns by sticking the

Ah, birthday parties. I had missed them so.

Finally, many [1] months after my actual birthday, this monumental event took place. I had no idea how difficult it would be to correspond eight people's schedules. I mean, really. Who has lives these days? Anyways, on to the important stuff: what I received from my amazing, generous, and slightly scary friends.

-Nunchaku! (o.o)
-A hara-kiri blade. (O__o)
-Kenshin 1 and Flame of Recca 1 (Thanks Godel!!!)
-My name written on a grain of rice.
-Bouncy d6s!
-Coconut cookieish things.
-A Naruto fan! How I enjoy fwicking it.
-A piggy-hangy thang! w00t!!!
-A picture of me? ._.
-SOX0RZ!!!! ^___________^
-Moneys! :D
-Harold and Maude. (About to go watch it.)

Woo hoo! Thanks to everyone who gave me stuff.

So basically, failiure of a hostess that I am, the beginning of this lil' soiree consisted of half ma guests standing out in the middle of my street, and the other half inside playing ToS AND KILLING YGDRASSIL WITHOUT ME. >:^O
Eh, it's not my fault. I haven't had a birthday party in quite a while.

The more entertaining half, I'm sure, was LaaaserQuessst! For what is more fun that shooting your best friends? o_O

For the first game, we named ourselves Home* Runner characters. Despite my Trogdor shirt, I named meself Homsar. Who else? I was raised by a cup of coffee. First game I came in 4th, and second game (we named ourselves after our D&D characters) I came in eleventh. Dear me. Stealthy I ain't, I guess.

And and and! Stupid I are! I forgot to bring change! Bnooo! No original SC for me. Ah well... Three cheers for Namco, while I'm on the topic.

Holy Crap. Dear brother of mine made me play Le Tennis against him. I couldn't last under the blistering Canadian sun for more than two minutes, though. Oozing home, I longed for the shadows. I really shouldn't be removed from my natural habitat. Grr.

Oh Lloyd Stop.

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Friday, September 24, 2004

   I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
I feel like complaing about my brother's "school". It's crazy, man. Craaaaazy.

-Every month they go on a "Road Trip". What the hell? Apparently on today's, the whole ride to their destination (U of G) went something like this: "Hey Sean! Wanna get drunk with us this weekend?! I'm hungover!!" He just laughed in response. (Sean is the principal.)

-There're 50 kids in the whole school. (Which is situated, might I add, in an office building.)

-Due to the number of students in the school, the classes are made up of approx. 1-5 people.

-Sean's dog lives in a closet in their front hall-type area.

There's some other bizzare stuff that goes down there, but I can't remember any of it at this point. Heh, today ma dad and I were waiting for bro-bro to return from his trip, and during this time we had an interesting conversation with the secretary. Apparently she's a trekkie that's reading Good Omens, likes Michael Moore, and can't pronounce 'anaesthesia'. She also looks, along with the other teachers at said establishment of learning, like she could attend the damn school.

Anyways, I'll try to unboringize my next post. No doubt it will contain some LaserQuest-related tomfoolery.

I found my true love. Thy name is J-Ska.

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Sunday, September 19, 2004

   Whenever I turn on the radio, it's playing either a)Something by Eric Clapton or b)Something by Sabbath. o.o
Yaaaay! Disc 2 in Tales! Woooo!
Enough rejoicing. It is time to be calm an- WOOOO!!!

'Twas a rather amusing weekend. Got in a crapload of gaming, and some Chrno Crusade, Otogizoushi, and Champloo.

Weekend: Worthwhile.
(Also, I named the gamecube Corneleus.)

Had a pot luck thang after hockey practise. We had to bring stupid, stinky Swedish Meatballs. I wanted to bring home-made california rolls but no. The balls made the car smell like crap. Weirdly, they were the most popular item. o_O Eh, they weren't that bad. The curried chicken was the best, though. Aaah.

Ooh, also saw Hero. 'Twas a brilliant, truly beautiful movie. Amazing symbolism. A little obvious at times... but 5/5. Ack...so awesome...
* is in awe of Hero.*


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Thursday, September 16, 2004

   Do you believe in goats?
Popularity ranking: 1000thithith.

GB signings: 64.

Just for no reason.

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