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your words, they go rite threw me
they circle round my head
i cant believe im still hear
i know i should be dead

this despiration makes me feel so filthy
but i know if i dont stop i wont feel guilty

take me higher
crank me faster
help me get the thrill im after
there is no future waiting
there is no morning after
cant stop obssessive craving
an ich i just cant scratch, yea
this paranioa stops my mind from sleeping
i dont know if im awake or if im dreaming
take me in you,
dont deny me
spit me out all bright an shiney

one time to take away all pain
one more to turn myself insane
one shot to keep me high all day
makes my reality fade away


Saturday, January 19, 2008

   im fuckin bak
well...im bak
last week was fun.......
i guess i need a break from dis ^__^'
i made a new site tonight :x
on here...ill give out the name later when i get bridget to HELP ME XD
i misssed u guys so much *hugs everyone*
please dont kill me XD
hm........alot happend actually
but i dont feel like boring u all ..its 2:15 in the mornin
ive lost 4 pounds this week
im all fuckin skin and bones
and ive started to grow out my hair...well thats been for a while
but NOW its noticable....
new site
iono i think ill keeep this one for a while
then switch over...i already put all the freinds list..minus a few assholes XD
love u all....u know the rest

Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, January 11, 2008

   ...why bother?
hey everyone...u all have been great
but...im seriousely thinking about leaving theO
no one talks to me anymore...not like before anyway...lol i got one pm in the past three days :D
so....if u guys wanna contact me ....ill be on aim, or yahoo, same screenname

actually i havent made up my mind completely ...wich will take a while, since my one year anniversery is cumming up....so
i hadnt been on much, and judging from my little poem, something did happen
my freind was in the hospital, and i was there to, but only to se him, and i had to take him there to
he OD'ed
so...ive been depressed lately
and my gf's grandpa died...so say ur sorry for her XD
im might miss u guys, or i might not, depending if i stay :|

well...i wonder if anyone will read this...........

Comments (6) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

   i wrote this

wut have i done?
my body is aching
i feel my heart slowing,
i cant stop the shaking
how did this happen?
this never happened before
my freinds were all doing it
i fall to the floor

i had taken to many
four, to be exact
i might not make it
i feel my heart contract
i panic now, at my worsening state
i find my self grasping
at the world i wanted to escape

i was never harmed before
by this strange leaf
but now the end is near
i am overcome with greif
my body is dying
the end draws closer
i feel myself crying
a fitting ending for this drug user
i feel myself fading
as all turns to black
kitty forgive me
dont turn ur back

if i survive this terrible night
ill make a new start
for the rest of my life
no more for me,
one death is enough
i cant do this agian
i am through with this stuff

Comments (3) | Permalink

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