Tuesday, March 2, 2010
It's not at all that I'm not happy for you. I am beyond glad that you got everything you wanted because you have suffered a lot in your life and you do deserve someone to make you happy. |
It's the way you went about it that's unsettling.
It never should've been a choose one or another sort of thing. It didn't have to be that way. People typically don't have to change all of themselves for one person to like them, not usually the basis of something good.
And it's so easy? It really makes me think that all of it meant nothing but it couldn't have meant nothing because all of those moments were substantial.
I was saddened by it in the beginning. I'm mostly indifferent at this point. I'd like things to be the way they were before but I doubt it's going to happen. So you come to a block and you move on and who knows if you come out better in the end because of it? that's yet to be seen.
Am I as happy as I was before? Quite possibly. They're not the same but maybe that's better. There's a lot of weird spaces that exist now I think. Topics that make people stumble and little things I still find hidden around my room that make me stop and think if only for a brief moment.
We played our roles pretty well. I take comfort in the fact that when shit came crashing down I had tried and I'm not the reason despite what you or anyone else says.
In other news I'm going to see The Young Veins aka Ryan Ross and Jon Walker in April. :D