Thursday, May 27, 2010
Desire is awful
I wish God would have voided me of sexual organs. I wish I felt no desire.
Trying not to look at porn is one of the hardest things right now. I told myself and Zach that I wouldn't. I know that if I do slip up even once, then it's going to fuck me over the rest of the way. I know I'll be right back to where I was before all this. I've tried so hard. So fucking hard.
I won't do it now. No matter how bad I need it. There is no release. I'm a horrible person.