Sunday, March 26, 2006

Well, this weekend has almost gone to crap. I really don't know what to think about it. I did go to the movies to see Stay Alive. It was a badass movie. It jumped from roof to roof and got my friends free cable. I really don't know what to post here at the moment.
Last night, I had another dream in which I was raped. I don't know if I would call it a dream or a nightmare. I don't really care to classify it at the moment. Unlike last time, I could see the detail of the man's face, and the dream came in three stages. All of which I remember. I'll probably post about it tomorrow.

I have these lyrics stuck in my head. It's kind of how I feel at the moment. I suppose I will post more tomorrow. I think it's just the Spring Break still washing me out. Anyway-

Ladies and Gentleman of the Inbetween, I present to you FAINT and Somewhere I Belong By LINKIN PARK

FAINT
I am
Little bit of loneliness
A little bit of disregard
A handful of complaints
But I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
I am
What I want you to want
What I want you to feel
But it's like
No matter what I do
I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that i'm not
But i'll be here
'Cause you're all I got

I am
A little bit insecure
A little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand
I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
I am
What you never want to say
But i've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
For once just to hear me out
So I let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that i'm not
But i'll be here
'Cause you're all I got

I can't feel
The way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
This damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

No
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me
Like it or not
Right now



SOMEWHERE I BELONG

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find/That I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck/Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone]
It's gone]
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I Belong

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere/Only to fin that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the
Way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today

I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong

Ani-chan: *Sigh* I guess i need to play in your dreams again Maki-san. That dream from last night was scary....C'mon...let's play...

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