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Birthday
• 1991-07-11
Gender
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Female
Location
• somewhere where you don't know, actually London in England
Member Since
• 2003-10-10
Occupation
• Sixth Form student, fan girl, writer and struggling artist/ creator
Real Name
• Amaris Hope you like the name because it is really so!
Personal
Achievements
• Not killing the people in my school YET, or the world; being able to push people away; being socially isolated; let my grades go down because I'm lazy and an idiot; read all the books in my library, get my english teacher to think I self-harm (DSH)
Anime Fan Since
• I was 7, Yr 3, 1998 or so. The first anime was the infamous 'Sailor Moon'! XD
Favorite Anime
• Most of them except Ultimate Muscle because it is soo ruubiishh-o! I Love 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'! Shinji is such a passive-aggressive boy, and he hates himself so! I can relate, because I hate myself. I hate everyone else in the world!Human condition!
Goals
• to actually finish a story!;To not die before 40, to get a good job which I enjoy- IMPOSSIBLE!; To find someone I love; to not end up killing myself because I suffer from depression.
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• reading, writing (all-sorts) and watching tv, getting annoyed, typing, blaming myself; being TOO perceptive; seeing all the faults of the world; telling people off if they are wrong; trying to decipher the world
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myOtaku.com: Outlaw Melfina
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Thursday, January 8, 2009
I shouldn't be on here, but I'm validating that I'm alive
I don't know why, but I've become addicted to the internet again, after the whole of the Christmas holidays of not being on.
I've got a sociology test that are each 25% of my grade, so I should be revising, but when there's a computer around and I'm home alone... Yeah
I've been reflecting on the end of year 07, which was pretty shit- I got really badly stressed and suffered insomnia for about 3 months, and my dad ruined my Christmas as well as coming along and being mad. When I say that, he had delusions and at one point, took my sister hostage, saying she can save him, and that the family were evil. I'm really sensitive, and he has fucked up my mind for years, so I could not sleep the 5 days that he had this episode, and yes, he has been in and out of hospitals.
Since then, though, during 08 I saw him once, and he's phoned my family about 20 times; he said he'll start over new, but that has been like over a decade he's being saying that. It's not that I don't believe him, but he has failed to show any signs of progress, and he doesn't like to tell us where he is.
Otherwise, I'm fine, because him not being around has stablilised my moods somewhat though I still get depression.
My Christmas was alright.
Oh, there's a cold snap here in England, and on Monday there was snow! ^^ That means it's bloody cold and the 3 layers are on, then adding a coat! XD I've got a hat that has my name embroided on it. I think when I see my name written 'Amaris' it looks so weird!
Not much else to discuss really, so I'll go.
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