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Thursday, October 2, 2003

   The coolest person I know.
I've decided to look on the bright side of things. Well, at least the stupid football game. It just now dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, Bianca will be there!! That would just brighten my day. She is without a doubt the coolest person I know and I love her madly!! No I'm not a lesbian, although I think she might be. Who cares? Reminiscing about the good old days when we used to skip gym class together makes me nostalgic. The last time I saw her was May 4, when we took the T into Boston and went to the aquarium because I had been talking about how I hadn't been there since I was 5. We spent 15 dollars each only to realize that it was a lot smaller than I remembered and left after 20 minutes. But after, we spent 2 hours in FYE just listening to music, and then we played in a toy store until they asked us to leave because apparently your not supposed to actually play with anything. Alright, so we shouldn't have been playing dodge ball, but some people need to lighten up. Getting attacked by pigeons as we tried to eat our Chinese food in Faneul Hall will forever remain a fond memory. And yet, with all those fond memories dwells regret. As usual. After the funnest day I had, had in a long time, Bianca told me to call her and for a lot of stupid reasons I could never bring myself to pick up the damn phone. Part of me felt that everything could only go downhill from where I was standing and I wanted to have something good to look back on. Of course now as I look back, I wish I had called her. She is the only person who has a positive effect on me, mainly because she is also cynical but in an extremely funny way. One of few who doesn't have to try to be funny, she just is. Without a care in the world she just is who she wants to be; a sarcastic, punky, tomboy/skateboarder with an astonishingly immense vocabulary and she's also a talented artist. Another reason we get along so well is the fact that she is so open minded and accepts people for who they are, no questions asked. Everyone else is so judgemental that being around her is a breath of fresh air. It made my day when a week ago Katie told me that she had seen Bianca and that she had said "Tell Linda to call me or the next time I see her I'm gonna kick her ass!" The promise of violence if I see her on Friday looms over me like an ominous black cloud (I'm so melodramatic). Having the chance to not screw up and let my insecurities get in the way again would be worth a few bruises. Please, let me reiterate that I don't like her like that. It's just that she is the only person who has never let me down or treated me as if I didn't matter. For the 3 years I've known and been friends with her she's never disappointed me or treated me like shit. Sadly the same can't be said for me. Hopefully she won't be too mad. That would make me feel like such a jerk, which I guess I am. Five months without a phone call........ I am indeed an asshole.
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