Monday, October 4, 2004

   A beautiful story *tears*
This is written by baby pwencess

Why did you leave?
Why did you have to leave me? I remember seeing you’re face up against mine, the sweet kiss you would bring me, why, why did you have to leave? I will not cry but I want to, I try to cry but I can’t, this pain hurts too much. I can’t bear to see you back in my face, I want you here with me, I don’t want to let you go, why did you leave? Was it because of me? Do you no longer love me? why? Is there someone else? What is it about her? Is she better looking? Is she smarter? Or is it just me? Am I too short? Too tall? Do I make you feel like your locked up? Why? Why did you have to leave? You have taken everything I had to offer, was I not good enough? I don’t understand. You have taken my heart, now you’ve pretty much taken my sanity, why? Why? Why? I’d walk along the park where you gave me my first kiss and I’d see your face appear before me. Why must you haunt me? Why cant I just let you go? For that, I do not know. You told me that you loved me…is that true? Or were you just toying with me like a fling? I don’t want to know. You were playing but I wasn’t, I thought that you loved me so I opened my heart to you and loved you back. don’t you understand? I loved you! but you pushed it away. My mind and my heart probably doesn’t exist anymore. I’ve sat on my window sill, watching the rain hit the window and the ground, I’ve tried to think of the bright side, my family, my friends…but I always end up thinking about…you. I was thinking, the other night, why do I love you anyways? I thought about that all night but I came to no conclusion.
Is it because of your looks? The way you talk? Your kiss? Your personality? The way you look at me? I don’t know…you tell me, why did you make me fall for you?
I walked to the beach as I sat down on the sand. I remembered it was here that you first told me that you loved me, you said that you’d never leave me alone, all by myself. But what happened now? Why did you break your promise so fast? Was it because you forgot? No. I know you remembered…you said you wouldn’t leave me and you’d protect me…I believed you…but why did I have to be so foolish? Why did I have to listen…I should of known, but yet I didn’t, I was too caught in your grasps. Stupid ain’t it? I know you don’t love me anymore and yet I denied it. It hurts too much to just let it go, it feels like a dagger being slowly pushed into my heart. don’t you know? It’s not you that’s feeling the pain, it’s me.
I’ve avoided eye contact with you, when we first met, but you always made me look into your hazel eyes. You’d say that you’d always be there for me, but all you do is continue my misery, why can’t you just leave me be? I’ve tried to convince myself that your not coming back, but it didn’t work, I’m still in love with you. I’ve tried to forget everything about you, your hazel brown eyes, your cinnamon colored shin, your heavenly deep voice, the touch of your skin against mine, everything, but why isn’t everything working?
My memory isn’t fading, it’s becoming fresher and stronger. I can remember everything that happened between you and me like it just happened yesterday. It’s a never ending nightmare that brings me more pain. This love that I remember is too strong to be forgotten and thrown away. How did you do it? How did you just forget everything we’ve been through and just leave? I love you so ,much that you cant understand. It hurts me to see that you don’t care about me…not even as a friend.
All that time I’ve treated you like my boy, you know what, I DID treat you as my boy, and all we’ve been through is that you don’t love me!? You don’t wanna be with me!? How can you play me like that? I’d look at the pictures we took together and think back to when we’d kiss as the rain poured down. Why cant it be like old times? Why did you have to leave? If your looking for the perfect girl, then you should end your search now, no one’s perfect. I know I should just forget about it but I can’t, you don’t understand, its not as easy as it looks.
When people told me that love hurts, I thought I understood what they were talking about, but man was I wrong, not only does love hurts, it fucking hurts, it hurts so much you’d think going through hell is a walk in a park. why did you even say that you loved me? Why did you make me believe that it’s real when it’s not? Out of all the girls why me? Why did you have to put me through despair? I hate feeling so vulnerable, and now I know why I hated feeling that why…I was afraid of becoming heartbroken.
It’s been three weeks since you left now. I haven’t seen you at all, not even a single bit. I’ve called you a couple of times but you never picked up. Are you afraid to see the pain you’ve put me through? Or are you just never there? I just realized something, why didn’t you look me in the eye when you told me that dreadful statement? Was it because you were hiding something from me? Please tell me, tell me why you left, tell me where you went, tell me what else you want, tell me all your problems, tell me that you weren’t lying when we were together, tell me that you loved me. I need to know what you think. Every night I’d wonder whether or not you’d come back, but it’s hopeless…your not. I just found out, two days ago, that on the day you walked out on me…there was an accident…a teen had ran across the road as a speeding car rode by and crashed into him…I didn’t want to believe it, you really did leave me…forever. I should of held you back, why did you have to go? I hope you can hear me right now… I still love you…no matter what happens. Wait for me…I want to be with you…I’ll be coming soon…please just wait…At least now I understand why you left…
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