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myOtaku.com: Master Marik

Thursday, June 30, 2005

I view into my feelings - I have never really done this before...
Well, a pool party I am going to is today. I'm bringing a friend I met not too long ago, but I am still a little worried about it. I am also reather depressed about several things. My mother got mad at me when I first woke up and yelled and then she got mad that I wouldn't give the baby chips in the morning. She said "I just don't understand you." I hate to say it, but no one does and I would give anything to find someone who does understand me.

I admin, I have friends, but in my entire like, I never had a 'friend' you could say. I was always alone even around people I know. It was almost like I was traped in side a glass box or more like a sound proof oneway mirror. I can see and hear everything that is going on outside, but no matter how much I scream to be let out, no one can ever see me or hear me.

It is even more so hard since I am in a new city and have no one to even talk to (not that I could ever tell my true feelings to anyone other then a true friend that I am looking for) but it would help if I new people. I am going to take part time classes at the local hightschool and hope to meet some people, but everything I heard about school is bad. People pick on you and are mean and nasty and me being the shy, nontalkive person I am, I sometimes think it might just make things worse.

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