Thursday, October 18, 2007
Bittersweet thoughts from a lunatic
Currently my soul feels as if its lace encased in barbwire. Like all of my crystal clear thoughts of others and their well meaning are being painted over with moody black or mud that clogs the arteries in my heart. It tells me that if I trust people again I'm gonna get hurt. That these barb wires are up for a reason. As if I ever forget. No that persistent pain that still catches me at my weakest moments and loves to rip out my throat so my eyes moisturize my cheeks with their gasoline tears. I just dunno. My fairy tales have been ripped from me one to many times. How can I have faith in such things? How? I feel the sparkles sting my eyes while fairies pull out my hair. this my reality or fantasy or dream maybe my nightmare i dunno anymore. I have to learn how to navigate through these emotions but my north star is always clouded, deceiving skies smirking at me knowing how futile my struggle is. I just want to be happy, .......but then again that's what everyone wants. Isn't it?