Thursday, October 18, 2007
Bittersweet thoughts from a lunatic
Currently my soul feels as if its lace encased in barbwire. Like all of my crystal clear thoughts of others and their well meaning are being painted over with moody black or mud that clogs the arteries in my heart. It tells me that if I trust people again I'm gonna get hurt. That these barb wires are up for a reason. As if I ever forget. No that persistent pain that still catches me at my weakest moments and loves to rip out my throat so my eyes moisturize my cheeks with their gasoline tears. I just dunno. My fairy tales have been ripped from me one to many times. How can I have faith in such things? How? I feel the sparkles sting my eyes while fairies pull out my hair. this my reality or fantasy or dream maybe my nightmare i dunno anymore. I have to learn how to navigate through these emotions but my north star is always clouded, deceiving skies smirking at me knowing how futile my struggle is. I just want to be happy, .......but then again that's what everyone wants. Isn't it?
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Just a quiz
Friday, October 5, 2007
Stop these thorns from penetrating me, just stop...
Once again i feel like I don't even know someone i care about a lot! they feel alien to me. Contradicting every thought I've ever had of them. This pain is eating at my heart....
I just don't know what to do..
why is this the course I seem to travel on, over and over agian...
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Clouds in my vision, lightning in my heart
So I've had the absolute worst worst worst day!!!!!! My friend fucked himself over with money so now I'm pretty much fucked for rent!!!! And I pretty much got let go from my job! Oh god I'm pissed!!!! So I'm taking tommarrow off. (they said i could finish out the week) I'm gonna go app;y everywhere tommarow so I'll hopefully have another job by monday. Hopefully I'll get a job that I can dye my hair again. I think I'll make it pink..
Monday, October 1, 2007
Glitter, Sand, and Californication
|So Draton and I have decided we're sick of Colorado. The mountains secluding us from the world supressing our vivd cherry flavor color of passion and hope. We've decided it's time to spread our wings and fly somwhere where we can lounge in pearl sand and watch devils and agels play in the sun together! We want to swim in the oceans sparkling mirror water. We want to pick pink sea shells to make for jewlry and climb palm trees so we can know how the leaves feel in the wind. We want the sun to warm our skin and hopefully find someone who will do the same for our hearts. We want to drink coffee on the boardwalk and then later go for hotdogs. We want beauty untarnished by this precription drug called the social norm! My gypsy blood speaks to me and tells me to leave just as it does my granparents. It's like the wild animal crawling in my skin howling at me. Tearing my insides ravaging my organs. Right now, here, I have to many things holding me back.|
That's why were going to California! We're just gonna sell some stuff pack up and leave! Draton wants to work in a club and become a candy colored dancer so beautiful you couldn't even look at him. He wants to play all night with every beautiful man he entices with his sugary speach and candy skin. dive in the swirl of hot jungle nightclub fever. Carnivore on the prowl.
He'll be a monarck blue butterfly, a fairy tale. everybody will love him and his heart will finally be at peace. He'll feel the warmth of his lover and be enticed by his spicy smell. they'll have a carnival bedroom where passion will blossom like the large Arcadia flowers outside their bedroom and glitter will fall from his eyes as he'll realise that he can do so much on his own and that he doesn't have to be afraid.
Someone else reading this probably thinks I should be more realistic but then what fun is life if you can't make it your own fairytale?
Featured Quiz Result:
|Certificate of Marriage
This is to certify that
Were united in Marriage
on the 19th day of June 2004