Monday, March 10, 2008

   Im losing my best friend.
I can't take it.
not it isn't fair..
and its not right.
shes moving to fucking Arizona.
Eva is moving to arizona..
it makes me want to hurt somebody...
it makes me want to harm myself.
no no no no.
I can't deal with her being gone.
and I can deal with a lot of things...
not this..
not havin the person I tell EVERYTHING to gone.
I can't take it.
this isn't fair.
shes leaving tuesday...
and today is her last day at school.
its tearing me apart..
I can't sleep...
its fucking 12 o' clock here..
and and and GAHHH!
you guys may not understand the devotion and loyalty I have for my friends...
the gang is my family...
my life..
if one of them leaves then...
then what?
Eva is my best friend..
I can't say that I'm closest to her because of jess...
but...
I am..


this isn't fucking fair..
I can't belive I'm making grammatical errors..
that's something I rarely do.
I hate life.




Kaida.

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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

   Omg Confusion!!!
I'm so caught up in EVERYTHING,
It's really confusing.
School, home, friends, Desi and her thing with Vincent.
It's all just running through my mind at once,
the other night I had a freaking emotional breakdown,
I cried for 2 hours straight,
and another hour of on and offs,
:(

Gahh;
I want Desi to be happy,
and as of now she's not so happy.
So I have to be happy for her.
I can't stop smiling,
and it's creeping me out because I'm not happy.

Gosh the things people will do for the love of another.
I guess I don't really hate Vincent for doing what he did to her,
as long as he makes up for it.

I remember, before the whole faking the death thing happened,
Vincent and I were talking about taking care of Desi.

It's weird how his responsibility turned on to me,
and I think I'm doing ok,
I mean I'm trying as hard as I can.
It's really hard though,
hiding my feelings for her sake.
My friends come first.
Especially the gang.
:)

I can't have someone hurting them,
it kills me to see them suffer,
and she's suffered the most.
She was happy again,
happy with us and the world,
or at least she acted that way.
Now today I come to school 3/4 to find her sad,
and It comes to me "Vincent" she didn't have to say anything,
I just knew.

But I asked,
just in case.
Gah I feel so apathetic now.
>/


"You'll go down in history,
with notebooks, pens, and melodies.
But your running from all your love,
Your running from all of us."

Kaida<3
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

   alalala:
I feel like singing and reading fanfiction,
buht fanfiction won't work on my internet at the moment.
oh well I guess I'll deal.
I should be updating my site every week,
buht eyedeekay,
depends.
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