Hiya...
So today I start college. I have my first class a little after noon. I've been so nervous about this for a little over a week and I'm pretty happy that it will all be over by this time tomorrow. I'll be used to it and I'll feel alright. Right now though I'm so nervous.
Everybody keeps telling me that I'm going to love college, and I wish they wouldn't. Expecting to love it is not what I need to hear. If I don't... then what? I'm not saying I won't like it, but what if I don't? You know? I'm just freaked out.
All of my friends have gone to school. My best friend loves it. She went all of the way down to DC to start school. I'm going to visit later in September or maybe early October. So at least there is that.
Another positive to starting college is that I might make friends. I've been pretty much alone since early August and I just need some friends my own age. Of course that might be easier said than done. I'm not exactly a sociable person. I don't like making new friends. I don't like the initial awkward conversations. I've been friends with Hannah for 5 years. We know each other and I like to know my friends. Making new ones is so difficult for me. I'm so used to the friends I've had. To make new ones kinda sucks, but she's in DC and I've got to be able to hang out with people my own age on occasion.
So we'll see how things go socially. It might take time to meet people I can stand to get along with. They have to like
Epica or classic films to some extent. Or be willing to try... or at least listen to my rambles. It would be nice to find somebody with my musical tates though because
Epica is coming back to the US in November and I bought a VIP ticket to MEET the band! It would be cool to go with somebody as excited as me or willing to attend. Right now I have my dad's promise that he'll go with me if all else fails. Not that spending time with my dad bothers me, it really doesn't, but he doesn't like
Epica at all... He does like
Kamelot though. He's going with me to see them on September 14th.
Hannah likes
Epica and she wanted to come up for the show so badly, but couldn't because the train ride is over $60 and she wouldn't be able to stay for anything but the show. So we'll see what my friend search brings up, if anything.
I just really can't wait to get this burden of stress off of my shoulders.
In regards to my last post, I feel a lot better about being alone. In fact I feel fine. I won't lie and say that I'm glad to have nobody around, but I feel alright. I got over it. A couple days and I've convinced myself to get over it. I know the last post seemed depressed, but by now you all know that I am not a depressed person. I get that way for a day or two and then I talk myself out of it. I'm good that way. I always know it will pass.
I feel like driving to school early and walking around campus to see if I can't figure out where the hell I'm going... Maybe I will. But leaving at 11 when my first class starts at 12:40 might be overdoing it just a bit.
That's about all for right now. I'm going to listen to some
Kamelot and try to relax before I take off. I'll post tomorrow about how the first day went. Tomorrow is going to be a LONG day. 7 hours at work and then a 4 hour class....
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