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Friday, March 11, 2005

   Hate + Jealousy = Love? o.o
I know everyone hates math, but my little equation seems to be correct. In order to love one person, you hate another. When you love someone, and they love someone else, you are jealous...and sometimes it even makes you love the person more. Well, I don't really feel like posting anymore... but I'll leave this post with my update of my nonexistant love life... Sam that I wanted to go back out with, well, my friend... who is one of those people that never lie... said that she saw Sam and Jordan this morning holding hands... so, I asked my other friend to see if they were going out, and he said Sam said they weren't... And, so I asked my friend, Dale, to then ask if she was going out with anyone.... and if not to ask if she would go out with me... So... I dunno what she said...But, after school, I was standing outside, and I kept looking back to where Jordan and Sam usually are, and didn't see them or see her come out of the building... then, when I went to go for the bus I think I saw Sam standing with Jordan... which more importantly means that I lost... It was only the horriffic, terribly long distance of all of 10 feet to where I was... If she still liked me, then she would have come over to me. So, in conclusion, I think I will just try to give up... but, I keep having dreams of her. The one dream sticks in my head...
~The dream~ In the dream I was with someone and told them something about "Sam doesn't love me and I'm just gonna give up on her..." or something (I can't remember it very well), but then as I walked into another room, and was crying, I turned around at the sound of my voice and there Sam was, she had a slight tear in her eye and came up to me, cupped my damp face in her hands and looked me in the eyes saying "I never said it, I never said I didn't love you." and kissed me. That's about all I remember of the dream but those words have echoed in my mind all day, I feel like the dream itself was making fun of me...sorta like telling a kid that you're gonna give 'em candy then laughing at them and saying "Haha! Like I would give you candy..." yeah... like that...

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