Friday, June 24, 2005

monty python
i've been trying to think of things i could share with you all that i find interesting. and after much consideration i think i have it. here are a few clips form Monty Python's The Holy Grail

"WOMAN: Well, how did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,...
[angels sing]
...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from
the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was
to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis
for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate
from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."


"DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just
'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some
moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

"BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound."



"ARTHUR: Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride...
to... Camelot!
[in medieval hall]
KNIGHTS: [singing]
We're knights of the round table.
We dance when e'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

[dancing]
We're knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.

[in dungeon]
PRISONER: [clap clap clap clap]
[in medieval hall]
KNIGHTS: [tap-dancing]
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot.
MAN: I have to push the pram a lot.

[outdoors]
ARTHUR: Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly
place."

"GOD: Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, don't grovel!
[singing stops]
One thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
ARTHUR: Sorry.
[boom]
GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry
this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'.
[boom]
What are you doing now?!
ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, O Lord.
GOD: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms-- they're so depressing.
Now knock it off!
ARTHUR: Yes, Lord."

"MINSTREL: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off,
And his pen--"

i love this movie!
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