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Thursday, September 8, 2005


   well...it's officail
ok...so here it is...i just officaily broke up with scott...he came over to the house...and i knew that it wasn't gona be easy...i just didn't know how hard not easy was...he came in and was all " what do we have to talk about" and i just plainly tould him that we couldn't be together ne more...but then he started saying "well, what was it that i did?" and i was saying that i tould you everything...and you didn't chaing b4...what makes me think that you will chaing now? and he just started crying his eyes out...and saying that he would chainge...and that i was the most important thing in his life...and i just keept telling him that there was no longer an "us"...i then asked my mother to show him the door...and he refused to leave...i was sitting in the kitchen crying my eyes out because i couldn't be with a controling persion...but yet i still felt bad...and i knew that this was the best for me...and in the long run for him as well...because all i would do is bring him down...but it wtill didn't make ne thing better...my mom had to drive him home because he was a reck...and he actuaily said to my mother " well what do i have to live for now? " he is still young...and so am i...he has so much to live for...he has lived a sheltered life up untill he met me...so in a way we helped eachother...he for getting me out of an abbusive house...and me for showing him that there is much more to the world then he knew...but still...all things must come to an end...i just feal bad that the end between us was so painfull...but regardless...not chainging...at least not right now...i've never claimed to be a fortune teller...so i will not say that i know the future...because...i don't...
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