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Sunday, November 14, 2004


More adventures?

Well, myself and my friends John, Sean, and Brian all went to a place called Coffeehouse tonight to just sit around and eat and talk. It was fun, but it was even more fun with the conversations we had in the car on the way there. WARNING: We think about sex too often.

Conversation 1: Necropheliac

Gavin: John, you're a necropheliac.

John: I don't have sex with the dead.

Gavin: How do we know that?

John: Well, I don't. I suppose I could, but why would I?

Gavin: I don't know.

Sean: What if she dies during the sex.

John: Yeah, I could be having sex with her and she dies. Would I be a necropheliac then?

Gavin: Would you still be having sex with her after she died?

John: Yes.

Gavin: Then yes.

John: But what if I wasn't aware she died.

Gavin: I'm not sure. Besides, how could you not know?

Sean: That sounds odd.

John: You guys would have to know I knew she died to call me a necropheliac. So what if I had sex with her and continued after she died and you guys don't know if I'm aware she died.

Gavin: It still counts.

John: How? You don't know if I know she's dead.

Gavin: Well, are you aware?

John: I can't tell you.

Sean: She could come back to life.

Brian: Yes, John has magic reviving powers.

John: Okay, good idea. So if I'm having sex with her and she dies, then comes back to life, does it count as necropheliac?

Gavin: We're you having sex with her when she was dead?

John: Yes.

Gavin: Then yes.

John: What, why?

Gavin: Because there was a point in time she was dead and you were aware of it and you continued to have sex with her.

John: But what if I wasn't aware?

Gavin: Now we're repeating ourselves.

Conversation 2: Biker

Gavin: Hey, guys. What if a guy was riding a bike and was masturbating at the same time.

John: Haha! I'd say he'd have to do it somewhere where people wouldn't see him because if he did it in public, people would be like "Oh my God, look at that guy!"

Sean: And he'd crash.

Gavin: Yeah, he'd have to ride it in the country, I guess.

John: He'd crash and get it twisted.

Gavin: And the doctors would be like "What happened here?" and the people would say "This man's penis is caught in the spokes."

John: "Good thing we just oiled the chains."

Gavin: So to conclude, riding a bike and masturbating is bad unless done where no one can see it.

Brian: *dying of laughter*

John: He'd somehow wind up in the fetal position.




If you just read all that, I'm sorry.

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