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Monday, January 26, 2009

   My Princess - Part 2
Hello, Hello, here it is, part two of this story of love. But this time I am going to put out a warning to my beloved fans. If you think I got to be this figure of love and always doing the right thing out of the box, you're wrong. I was never this "holy." This is probly the darkest you are ever going to see of me, this is a point where I hit rock bottom. So if you want to stop reading right now to keep that image of me in your head, then don't read ahead, but if you want to see my transformation into the dark knight, then read on. You have been warned.

RECAP: Early June 2007, I got a call from Drea, telling me that she had been thinking about me for months. I sent her a text message to tell her hello and that all was good, especialy me and Aly. Then Aly called me and told me that if Drea tries to contact me that I shouldn't talk to her, if only I had listened then...

Early June 2007, Drea and I had gotten back into fully communicating with one another, which was great, I felt like I had both of my friends back, but I didn't know that Drea had betrayed Aly's trust, stole from her, and that the two were no longer speaking with one another. Aly found this out and questioned my loyalty to her by not listening. At the time, I had no idea that Drea was evil in a word. But I gave Aly time to collect her thoughts. Drea on the other hand took advantage of my doubts, she told me that Aly had been sleeping around that I was a fool for still wanting to be with her. I began to foster feelings of fear and mistrust. And when Aly wouldn't even answer my calls, I started to believe it was true. Me and Drea began to talk a lot more.

Late June 2007, Aly called me and we talked, I didn't bring up anything, but I felt like my heart was bleeding from the inside, if Aly had done these things, then she would have told me right. I couldn't take it, I described our relationship as slow dancing in a burning room. We ended it right there. Respectfully, we agreed to remain friends, but in my head I blamed her for everything. I wanted to wash her off of me for something she didn't do, so what did I do? I asked Drea out. Within a couple of hours, Drea had routed that to Aly and Aly left me one of the worst messages I had ever gotten. "I hate you so much, you never loved me, it was all a lie, you wanted Drea more then me the whole time." I never cried more then that in my life, why would she say that to me. I wanted to marry her, help her pay her debts, to be her knight in shinning armor, she knew I loved her more then I loved myself. Drea though, even though she instigated, told me that she would take care of me, and that I wouldn't have to cry anymore, I believed her.

July 2007, Me and Drea had gotten pretty close, but not as close as me and Aly. ALy would send me the occasional hate message like, I hope you are miserable forever and that her friends threw the ring I bought her into the subway. I held onto her necklace because I was never over her. At the end of the month, me and Drea had a day date, it was alright and it made me realize that I lost something special. I wanted Aly back at any cost, I would do anything regaurdless of who I had to step on or who got hurt. I stoped talking to Drea, I told her that I needed to make it right. Then when I got Aly to listen to me after numerous emails, we started talking again. When the question came up about me asking Drea out, I told her that Drea sent that and made it up, the first lie is the easiest to make up. Aly was relieved but wanted me to earn her trust again. I was willing to. But our biggest test was about to come up.

August 2007, I moved to Hawaii to join my ship and Aly moved to Virginia to be far away from all those bad memories. We talked each night, I just wanted to be with her again. But I noticed a change in her, she was posting provokative photos on her myspace, she was smoking, she was wearing things that she would never wear. I was confussed but I wasn't too worried. She told me she was waiting for me to win her back. But the next month proved that wrong.

September 2007, I felt as though we were getting closer as the texts and calls became fewer. But one day, I sent her a text message picture, the reply "This is Steaven, Aly's boyfriend, she doesn't want to hear from you, you're pathetic." I was at a loss, why did she make me wait when she had someone else? That night I threw the necklace I still had into the ocean, I told myself that is where my heart belonged. I then got a hold of Drea. Drea said she hated that I ran to her when I got hurt so if I was going to stay with her, that I needed to quit running away. Then I found out that Aly was wearing slutty clothes, smoking, and taking those pictures all for Steaven. I was at a loss, I hated her, I hated her so much that I had to get even. I wanted her to burn so much. I wrote a letter and let everyone and their mother see it, it called her an unfaithful slut, and I even quoted our favorite movie, Moulin Rouge, to end it. "There, now I've payed my whore, you mean nothing to me." We never spoke to one another after that.

Time went by and I had no reason to go on, I hated life, I just wanted to be involved in meaningless realationships that wern't going anywhere, to be just a one night stand guy. I thought all women were untrustworthy without even thinking about what I had done to her. I hated being alive. But to captivate this moment, this is what I call a character defining moment. I had the choice then and there. I could stay this way, be another regular asshole guy who could care less or I could be something more then I was, to remember I was raised to be better then that, that I could find forgiveness for anyone for anything, that I could trust in myself and in love once more. And so I did, the months to follow I grew up and wanted to make ammends for everything. So that is in a nutshell the guy you know now, It's easier to give up then spend a year and a half trying to make up for it all. I advise you all to rise come you run into a defining moment like this. Back to the story.

March 2008, Some time had passed before I heard from Aly, but one night I got a call. I really didn't want to hear from her at all but I wasn't going to push her away, I owed her that much. It was a long conversation, a really really long one. She was a mess, her life was in shambles where mine was begining to come back together. She told me about all the things that happened, about why she acted like she did, why she dressed like that, and why she smoked. Her boyfriend made her do it, he raped her, it was the worst thing I have ever heard, especialy because I loved her. I didn't know what to say, she betrayed my trust like I did hers, I didn't know what to believe. So I asked her what was next. She said she was an addicted smoker, gross at that point, she wanted to be with me because she was in LA again, I wasn't, and that she met a guy who lived in Japan, I told her that her life was so fucked up that I didn't know what to do with her. She was a mess, Virginia really ruined her. But I could do nothing. I still had my feelings of hate fostered deep down.

April 2008, My ship did a surge deployment, where we get two weeks to prepare to leave for an unknown amount of time. I left Drea on her own with a lot she had taught me to be a better person again, I also left Aly with my feelings of disgust, I didn't want her while her life was in shambles. I was gone for two months.

June 2008, My first call back was Drea, glad to hear I was back safely. But in the middle of it, Aly called, she didn't even know I was gone, but I turned her away. I didn't want to be with anyone, I didn't know what to do. As the next month unfolded, I learned Aly was getting back on track and so was I, it was nice but I felt nothing for her. Then one night we got into it. A fight over nothing for no reason. I was about to let Aly have it about things that wern't in her control when Drea of all people stopped me, she told me enough was enough, that Aly loved me and that I should show her more compasion, Drea had enough of me trying to get rid of Aly. So I stopped myself and Aly made plans to pick me up from the airport when I came home on leave in september...

Well that is one of my least favorite stories of my life but there it is, with a lot of details cut out. Trust me, if I wrote them all, I would be in horrible mood and you would feel even worse. But there is one more part for you guys, not as long, but I know you are dying to hear the rest of it.

As always, be excellent to each other and rock on till next time.

Current Song: Shades of Blue by Nick Lachey

~~<@ The Dark Rose Enigma

Somebody wants you. Somebody needs you. Somebody dreams about you every single night. Somebody can't breathe. Without you it's lonely. Somebody hopes that one day you will see that somebody's me.

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