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Saturday, December 18, 2004

um..well..i just thought i wasnt going to have time to update and stuff..guessed wrong..ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

one of my fav localish bands are getting big..im so weired out.yet,so happy..wanna see who


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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

when you close your eyes even your eyelids are beautiful for so long there have been traces of you in blood vessels inside my skull that coarse you eagerly through me into my hands that reach for you

she was playing make believe she was putting these scars on our hearts, scars, hearts, putting scars on our hearts
shimmering sweat for the swollen shame that squeezes my lack of a stomach

probly wont be updating till after christmas...explain latter...soo

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Sunday, December 12, 2004

   um...im soooo not in the christmas spirit as ppl would say...everywhere i go its CHRISTMAS MUSCI!!! i just wana plug the speakers w/somthing...ppl are so blind ,christmas isnt bout the gifts and traditions and crap..only the inocent small helpless child who was born....*mumbles*

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Saturday, December 11, 2004

   why is it so hard to breathe?,put on a fake smile on...

its getting cold...i think i need to close my eyes..need to shut the demons from my ears...

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004

   hm...i found this great site of pictures for angel santuary...ug..buh...it has so many religious things that woodnt be apporoprite for glorifying the lord..geez..pretty pics tho i must say!
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Monday, December 6, 2004

   Written in Blood,Sealed with a Kiss,she screamed...
Tighten your grip around this pale hand, Yes; I know it looks,feels limp, stitch your fingers into mine Lord, stitch this broken hand within your bleeding palms, lets share these blood vessels, You offered a new heart and gave me my new transplant. Slice through these dead veins, cut those dead heart beats of still time out, Slice,Ripe,Severe Stab those dead blood vesels out, suffercate their darkness, keep them in a sacred jar, hidden and never to be opened..ever..ever..again

this one was when i was reading the bible..trying to go back to god and give him myself..i had turned away from god for a while..trying to turn towards god again...ive heard his voice,and seen his eyes..so awsome,so awsome....

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Saturday, December 4, 2004

now..who ever said I wrote that?..its some lyrics by the used..he doesnt sing it nor scream..just in normal talking voice than screams...
a poem I WROTE..;) lol,here:

Have you ever walked on solid glass? Did you hear it shatter? That was my heart as days had passed, I had walked on solid glass and as the glass exploded, my feet gave in. Stumbling in the dark, I found my body broken and torn, grasping my heart, it had shattered into a million pieces, pieces of love flew out the door, pieces of hate and accomplishment splattered, crunched and dissipated, all feeling had left me, to become numb of the world to it's very hard core....

not my best one..buh yea..

oh the knucle poem was just um..i was really mad..mom of course..haha..and no,i didnt make pictures on them when i wrote that.. ; ) lol

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Wednesday, December 1, 2004

   my eyes cloud for forgiveness
how can i love somthing im supose to hate?...
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Monday, November 29, 2004

   ..poems i made?`
Can you taste my fear?
Its floating in our air,
All around us, reach out, touch it,
I see, in your eyes, you care

Can you hear my demons?
Are they making you tense?
Yes, they've spilled on the floor,
I know you wont give me the chance

I touch your secerets,
I hear your heart,
I know your hiding place,
I know your hidden dark

and this small one

A bracelet of roses, blood drawn from the wrist,
red lace and sequins, my death by a kiss

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   i feel like poop
hm.moms throwing my sex pistols shirt out
..like the rest of my cds and all my speacial crap,it seems....got mad.grabed the knieve(havent done it sence summer really)..and sence knucles all swollen i thought to make a pretty picture on it
it doesnt hurt..blood dripped a bit...theres cuts all over it in random desighns..some longer deepr than others..buh not too deep cuz theres hardly any skin there..

....im so upset...

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