Thursday, June 8, 2006

duh!?
time: akon

mood: cold/awake

song: nothing

OMG IT AKON..Its draws closer..I can practically SMELL THE FANBOYS!!! o.o


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Friday, May 26, 2006

summer
Time: 10:48 AM

Mood: content/happy

song: Ride on a Shooting Star-The Pillows

Yesterday at 1 PM was officially the start of my summer.
Im done with the pressures of exams and school drama!!
It was very fun yesterday! For once it didnt rain! :DD
Selen: hahaha like last year when you got drenched because of Flag Detail.

*sighs* yeah, I was so cold and wet. (<--Dont take that the wrong way!)

Paul and I went out for starbucks yesterday afterwards and hungout, walking around then went to Borders where we bumped into Christa and chatted with her and two other girls.
One of the girls is going to Akon so I'll be on the hunt for her! :D The other wants to go to a con! :< I told her about San Japan so shes happy now :3
Christa, Paul, and I had alot of fun reading anime...and looking at yaoi! :D Paul likes it too! kekeke
Christa left as Paul and I bought our gifts for Seth, which are *beep* and *beep* :3
You'll love them Sethy *grin*
Anywho~
Nothing much besides that, so cheerios and..uh..I dont know..>_>..XD;

*heart*


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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Whats happened?
mood: content/thoughtful

song:"At the End"-IIO

When you're away, I'm feeling empty
I lose my mind
But when you're around, I take for granted
Most of our time

Honey you say that I'm cold
And sometimes I'm out of control
Baby, you know how I am, at the end, you're always mine

I don't mean to when I hurt you
But I need you, I can show you
Just let me be when I'm crazy,
At the end you're still my only.
At the end
At the end
At the end
Right when you're gone, I really miss you
You got my heart.
When you come back, I just wanna kiss you
And it tears you apart.
Honey do make me stay,
Believe me it's better this way.
Baby I'm true and I'm real.
I'm giving you all that I feel.

I don't mean to when I hurt you
But I need you, I can show you
Just let me be when I'm crazy,
At the end you're still my only.
At the end

I don't mean to when I hurt you
But I need you, I can show you
Just let me be when I'm crazy,
At the end you're still my only.
At the end


Sweety, I'm trying my best,
To give you the most and no less.
Darling, I'm true and I'm real,
I'm giving you all that I feel.

I don't mean to when I hurt you
But I need you, I can show you
Just let me be when I'm crazy,
At the end you're still my only.
At the end

I don't mean to when I hurt you
But I need you, I can show you
Just let me be when I'm crazy,
At the end you're still my only.
At the end
At the end
At the end
-End Lyrics-

You know, Ive noticed how alot of friendships seem so..unstable right now.
I feel like Im not as close to most of my friends anymore; like some I feel are just pushing away and stuff. *shrugs*
Im not emo, just quite thoughtful about this cause I mean...Im slightly curious as to what happened or what caused this.
I know I must be a bitch or something sometimes to some of my friends and I apologize; I guess Im just sick of alot of stuff so this summer is going to be stress relife summer with NO DRAMA...Hopefully.
Finals are this week..I have 1 1/2 days left until Im out for the year.
Im preping for Akon as well and Im going to make sure everyone is happy in my room and having fun; because I hate to see them sad.
Hmm...I'll leave you guys to your thoughts and if anyone ever wants to talk then feel free to IM, PM, call, or whatever.
*waves*
Oh Selen is doing fine, shes just been out of it but I assure shes good since shes been reading alot.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Thoughts, Feeling, anything above
Time: 8:22 PM

Mood: Thoughts

Song: Fields of Hope

~Lyrics~
konna ni tsumetai tobari no fukaku de
anata wa hitori de nemutteru
inori no utagoe sabishii nohara wo
chiisa na hikari ga terashiteta

anata no yume wo miteta
kodomo no you ni waratteta
natsukashiku mada tooku
sore wa mirai no yakusoku

itsuka midori no asa ni
itsuka tadoritsukeru to
fuyugareta kono sora wo
shinjiteiru kara
Fields of hope

umarete kita hi ni dakishimete kureta
yasashii ano te wo sagashiteru
inori no utagoe hitotsu kiete mata hajimaru
tayorinaku setsunaku tsuzuku

itsuka midori no asa e
subete no yoru wo koete
sore wa tada hitori zutsu
mitsukete yuku basho dakara
ima wa tada kono mune de
anata wo atatametai

natsukashiku mada tooi
yasuragi no tame ni
Fields of hope

natsukashiku mada tooi
yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope

-English~

Beneath a veil so cold,
You deeply sleep, all alone
The melody of prayer; on the lonely fields,
a little light shined
I watched as you dreamed
You laughed like a child
So dear, and yet so far -
That is the promise of our future
That one day, on a green morning,
One day, we will make it there
Because in this wintered sky
We still believe
Fields of Hope
On the day we were born, we were embraced
And now we search for those gentle hands again
The melody of prayer; one vanishes,
And all begins again; a powerless, painful continuation
One day, to that green morning,
We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for
Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm
So dear, and yet so far -
In the name of peace
Fields of hope So dear, and yet so far -
The fields of promise
Fields of Hope
Fields of Hope

~General~

Hm, Ive been very thoughtful all day.
Well lets start with how I am, I guess all I can say is..Ive been wandering in the past and thought about how much alot of us have change.
I know I am kinda glad I have gotten more backbone..but I miss my old happy-go-lucky self...I guess I cant go back to that though since it would be hard, after all how it was tainted and all.
Ive also decided I might go back to talking to Bob...Ive known I hate him with a passion for what hes done and such but maybe people deserve second chances. Im going to think about that one more.

~On Friends~

Another is my friends, you guys know who you are.
I cant say how much I care so much for you all, if I never met any of you I know for sure my life would be a emu life and I wouldnt be able to smile like I do now. You guys are like my family. Ive always wondered how I feel left out in groups sometimes...I just always feel like Im not suppose to be there and I get sad since I see my friends laugh and chat but I just paste a smile on and forget. I know I shouldnt but its just one of those random thoughts.

~On Love~

I guess you can say; I miss love..I crave it now and it seems bad of me. I cant believe I think of how much people are smiling and looking at each one lovingly and I think: "Why am I unlucky on this part?" Eh, oh wells. It weird, I want love but yet, Im so scared to say "I love You" I mean, Its so hard to say it because I try to say it then immediately regret saying it because I never want the feelings to die. Ive been through some...not-so-good relationships which has made me slightly icey when it comes to matters of devotion and love.
"Tears Moonlight Overflowing from my palm
What do you want? My lips uttered in the darkness...That smiling face which pierced my heart when we met,I want to protect it within the agonizing, crushing pain.I had embraced our fleeting promise..Just to be close to you
Just to be with you at the same time
Returning distant memories, although sorrowful, they are making me warm.If the guidance within these etched symbols Ever fails again,The moment we meet again shall bypass the memories of a thousand years And change into light.."

~School~

School seems like a time that I just wish to go away. Im sick of everyone there. Im sick of hearing rumors or gossips of someone over a bad shirt or just because they sip a bottle of water.
Im sick of those people who seem so cruel to others and think its ok because its just entertainment.
Im tired of people bringing such sad things; like some of my friends..I wont mention names or point fingers but some..just upset me sometimes..They keep going on and on about getting raped, childhood friends (that I suddenly find out this year, after knowing them 3 years), or ect! They know it upsets me..but they do it.

"I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio
Still I can't escape the ghost of you
What is happening to it all?
Crazy some say
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away
But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way to
the ordinary world
I will learn to survive"

"Feeling sad and lonely
Cause I can't find you
Call your telephone
And there's never no answer
Said you love me
Kissed me
We were in heaven
Said I'm sorry
Love you, want you forever

Every night I look at the sky
Call your name
And wonder where you are
Every night I look at the sky
Baby, miss you
Won't you come back"

" was so happy, you were laughing
With a smile that melts everything away
Spring is still far away, inside the cold earth,
Waiting for the time to sprout
For instance, even if today is painful
And yesterday's wounds remain
I want to believe that I can free my heart and go on
I cannot be reborn
But I can change as I go on, so
Let's stay together always
Smile only at me and touch me with those fingers
This simple desire is everlasting
I want things to be simple
Let's finally get across this sea of mournful sorrow
For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always
For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always "

Just read all those closely; then you'll see how Im feeling and such. *smiles softly*


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Sunday, May 7, 2006

uleauleaulea
Time: 5:21 PM

Mood: Bored/wishing it would rain/content

Song: KH2 background music! XD
<--Little brother playing KH2

Hmm lets see,
Only 3 weeks of school left! :D whoopie!
I also hung out with Jen, Sethos, Paul, and others yesterday. Twas pretty fun.
I was sorta out of it most of the time and quiet due to akwardness and just deep thinking or maybe was I just plain tired?
Since the weather that day is not "Tori" weather. It makes me feel all icky.
Anywho, besides that Ive been good. Glad some dramas are fading away..hopefully..
As well as hoping my mum will let Fred-chan stay with us at akon..if her and my brother and his help pary it would be 50 each!! *_*
Oh how I hope...
My mum and I have been slightly hostel towards each other sometimes, another reason why I *hate* asking her for things when she is so stressed out. >_<

Anywho, Selen is out and about in her room just reading novels as per usual on a Sunday.
Im being a lazy bum! :D
<3
<33
<333
<3333
<33333
<333333
^ Yeah Im bored..>_> go me?
Nothing really new and exciting, just me being me.
Though Im slightly curious as to why I feel not myself. *shrugs*


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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

time: 5:17 PM

Mood: happy

song: 20 Minutes of Disco Glory (Simon's come-back remix)


Well today was actually pretty neaty-o
I felt happy all day and I actually didnt care about the "Oustanding Flight" thing, I was just content with what we did.
We tried our best and thats all that counts.

Selen: Hopefully we can get to the picnic!

D: Yes indeed Selen, we need to bum a ride from someone..hopefully keri..>_> *looks at keri with puppy eyes*

Anywho, I bet you all have wondered why Selen hasnt shown up much. Well, she was dealing with some personal issues but now she is back and much better! ..I hope..>_>

Selen: What was that?

Nothing Sele ;)

It was weird, when I got home today I felt the sudden urge to go out into the Thunderstorm..so I did. In the midst of lighting and thunder..heavy rain and such. I stood there, feeling quiet content with everything..though a small feeling came to me and wondered what was going to happen.

Anywho, earlier, Selen was out of it for awhile since I guess some personal stuff came up but now, it seems she finally is smiling again and acting the way I love her. *big hug*

Selen: Thank you hikari *hugs back*

Anywho, we must be off..bleh we have stuff to finish and we're trying to bum a ride! :D

Selen: we're such scroungers..XD

Its cause my parentials seem to *hate* taking me anywhere unless people come here. Well..My mum doesnt mind..it just seems my dad always throws a hissy fit.



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Friday, April 28, 2006

NOTICE
See below post please

But other then that...


This woman talking is an example of people I just hate so much, hence why Im also not very religious. Yes, it may be her belifes but once you watch it you will understand why Im so P.Oed.

Strange thing about this too is, yesterday, our school had "Day Of Silence" (24 people :3 Maybe more)
And as I was sitting there in 8th period these group of kids in my class walked up to me and ask,"Do you like girls or guys? Or maybe both?" I looked at them silently and they all started laughing at me..even one of my "friends" I went back to my writing as they sat in their little corner and kept talking about me and laughing about how I "look like Im going to cry" and "Why I aknowledge such a disgusting group" and such. So after the period, as I was walking down the hall..I was literally fighting tears. Which uber sucks since I hate crying in public.
Since, my school seems to be demnted and enjoy the pleasure of seeing others hurt. Its kinda sad actually, to hear people talk about others in cruel ways and laugh at them then when they see the object of their "talking" they act friendly and such. What two-face assholes.
So, my mum had enough so I *might* go to Steele, hopefully too since Paul and some of my other cool friends go there.
I know I'll miss my friends at Clemens, but its just too much when your AP class is the one mocking your belifes and laughing at you., so it going to suck going back Monday. I have a feeling about it. But thankfully I'll be able to talk and I'll show them its not nice hurting others.

Selen: *glares* You should have let me take over, I would have surprised them, they shouldnt make my hikari cry *big hug*


>_> Tis okies, I have way cooler friends who actually understand and dont bother my belifes. Whether they support or not.


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Thursday, April 27, 2006

NOTICE
Whoever sent me a PM must email me

Pharaohs_Love@hotmail.com

My PM's seem to not be working.
So please email me and I'll read it there k?

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

snaf
Couldnt join in on the silent day since I had a speech soooo Im taking mine tomorrow with my friend Jen..:D
Also today was opposite day so...I wore pink..O______O

It was a scary time...


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Sunday, April 23, 2006

woo
Time: 10:09 AM

mood: content

song: Heaven Sent-DJ Digweed

Well yesterday was much better than I thought it would be.
Woke up early and took a shower and whatnot.
Around 1o:15 Paul calls and asks if Im ready.I tell him of course not, he did say at 11:45 ne? Well....he meant 10:45 so I rushed around, hopping on my socks, apron and such then stashed my make-up in my bag to place it on later and then straightened my hair and such. Paul and his parentials came, my mum really likes them now. She thinks they are funny :3
Durning the drive I was explaining the japanese culture and cons to his mum who seemed really interested as well as my costume. I was surprised she didnt freak out over it! ^ ^
Arrived there and we hung out with random people until it opened and then we walked around, checking out different items.
Jen and her friend Danielle arrived so they added to our group and then Seth, Sethos, Ashley, and Muun arrived :3 It was awesome. Much hugs and "I miss you"s then we went inside to do our make-up and then went out and showed our insanity! Some people were weirded out but others enjoyed it and joined us at moments! ^_^
Flirting and giggles and etc commenced as we sat around a table and "changed places" every once in awhile. XD
Ate a bit then went to cosplay "run through" where we joked around and people enjoyed us! :D
Ashley couldnt make it to the actual cosplay so it saddened us.We said our goodbyes to Colter as well. Such a sweetie and I must say a cutie x3
Went back and cycon came! yay! :3 After many hugs from him, and then Muun and Sethos left with him for money. Seth, Jen, Paul, Danielle, and I did a small cuddle orgy, earning some odd looks from bastards!! >/
Anywho, said our goodbyes to Ashley and then we just hung out for awhile until we all squealed in delight for a dance was going to happen.
Got up after awhile and went to cosplay. Did our little thing :3
Got Judges choice from the VA of D!! <3
Many pictures later, Sethos and the others went to go buy Glowies , leaving Seth and I to hence forth to the R.R and take off the gunkie stuff. (make-up) As we were finding the bathroom, we saw a video room and waved at them XD Some waved back. hehe
Seth and I chatted about random stuff and then we went on our merry way, bumping into said VA from above. He gave us huggies and we took pics as we all walked back together and chatted about anime and the VA career.
He signed some stuff for Seth and then we re-met with Shiro and Paul then Matt and Jedi guy! :3
We all talked and flirted whatnot and thensaid goodbyes.
(Shiro cuddling my boobs. X3)
Then frolicked to the dance! Cycon,Muun, Jen, Danielle, and Sethos came back and we all danced!
woooo
Dancing was great overall and then said our goodbyes at the end.
Rode back home with Paul and chatted with his mum about con expieriences and stuff. X3
She seems to not feel as "left out" now. So its good. Shes funny ^^
Got back home and took a shower then felt very lazy so didnt stay on the compie long. I got an ice cream cone:3 So I ate it as I watched "Groove" <3 Its nice to watch that movie before or after a Rave. Gives you a nice feeling.
I never realized how passionate I am about raving now until just recently.
I thought about it last night and like how it gives you a "pure" or "heavenly" feeling as you hear the music pulsing and doing your own thing in your little world ^^

Found out that my HS prom wasnt all that good so Im glad I didnt go. I heard they mostly played Country..ew
I'd die..X.X Since there was NO TECHNO O___O
Hence why I sometimes hate alot of school dances, cause they mostly play rap and country..two of my non-favorite genres..Dont get me wrong, I like some songs but mainly..Im just "enh.." about it.
Anywho. Im off and love you allll
*heart*
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