“You’ll never leave me.” He whispered in her ear. She let out a dry cry of mixed sensations of fear and pain. He grabbed her by the back of her hair and threw her like a doll against the wall. She let out an estranged wail as she hit the wall. Shock overwhelmed her as she crouched on the floor. He stood above her. “Stand up” he commanded.
When she didn’t do as he said he punched the wall above her head leaving a hole where his hand has been. She screamed as she tried to get away from him. But the door was closed and still in pain she couldn’t move.
He grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and pulled her up.
“Please…stop.” She whimpered. She could feel his warm breath on her face as she looked into his cold eyes. Tears poured from her eyes, he opened the door of his bedroom and shoved her into the hallway. She could feel the top of the stair railing on her lower back. “Tell me you love me.” He said. His voice was hateful but yet caring. She didn’t know what to do. “I … I love you.” She whispered; closing her eyes she wished it was over. She could feel his grip on her shirt losing.
“I love you too babe.” He said back; pushing her over the edge. She screamed, reaching for something to save her life only to catch the air, as she fell to the cold tile of the floor she closed her eyes waiting for the end. But it never ended. She kept falling. The only thing surrounding her was darkness, and didn’t want anything more than that.
She sprung up in bed. A cold sweat dripped from her brow. Trying to catch her breathe she looked to her side. There he lay; His chest slowly rising and falling. She lay back down. Calmly she touched his face. She loved the way he smiled when he dreamt.
“I love you.” She whispered in the dark room.
“You’ll never leave me.” He replied smiling.
This was their first fight. It felt kind of good to yell at someone. She never felt so alive. But she couldn’t remember why they were even fighting.
He knew that he was wrong. But he just didn’t want her to know that. So he just kept on screaming. He wanted to stop, but he couldn’t.
As he yelled hurtful things, she yelled them back. He didn’t care she was close to tears. He didn’t look her in the eye. His eyes wandered the room.
She yelled for him to get out, clenching her hands into a fist.
He saw the anger in her eyes, he could feel it, but he didn’t move.
She yelled again for him to leave, this time pushing him.
His anger overpowered him and he raised his hand, smacking her to the ground.
She felt so many emotions. Anger, sadness, shocked, numb. She couldn’t move. She just looked at him.
He just stood there, unable to move, think, and breathe. He didn’t know what to do…so he ran.
She watched him as he bolted for the door; she held her breath until she heard her front door slam shut.
I feel so alone. Even when you are near. I can’t think. I feel so small. You never trust me. You try to protect me from nothing…from what you feel...from what you fear, but I can protect myself. You confuse me for what you feel. You don’t understand. I am pictured in your eyes as what you want me to be. Not as I am. You try to tell your self that I am perfect. I am not. You make yourself believe that I understand. I do not.
I can’t play this game anymore. I can not try to be who you try to tell yourself I am…not anymore…