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Hello everybody!. My name is Allison. I'm actually Asian!..haha

i don't really have much to say..but i love meeting new people..and love finding people who have the same interests as me...




as you can see i'm IN LOVE with Big Bang
They are a Korean group!
I love crazy fashion! Especially Harajuku fashion/Asian street fashion!


I am currently SINGLE!

..and I tend to fall in love easily >___<



Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Calling all ASIANS! ^_____^
I'm new to this site..
please add me 'cuz i have no clue how to run this...haha

actually, you don't even have to be Asian...
Everyone is welcome to add and talk to me..

Arigatou!



(>^_^)>


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Tuesday, October 30, 2007


[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-10
I promised myself i would never love you again...

But you don't know how difficult it is for me

to stop caring for the one person who opened my heart to love...

who opened my eyes to see the world..

YOU were the world that i saw.

Those days when i was with you..

those days when we were together were the best days of my life. You were the first person who showed me what love was...

And it felt really good.

You were always there for me when i needed you..

You were the only person who understood me.

If we didn't see each other for just ONE day...

for every breath i would take,

took a little more strength out of me.

I miss those days.

You're probably thinking, "what the hell??..

She misses feeling like dying??"..

the answer is yes in a way..

It wasn't the fact that I liked the feeling of dying! (LOL)..

it was when we saw each other the next day,

it felt like we've been apart for a year..

The feeling that we missed each other so much..

that's what made me happy..

To love someone..

and to feel loved by someone that much...

It was love..

and it was REAL.

But there were complications to our relationship..

And different paths we were headed for...

I didn't want to see you struggle with the pain of the "end"

if we stayed together longer..

Just leading to nothing in the end...

I loved you that much..

I loved you enough to let you go free

and live your life so you could reach your goals..

So i ended it..

and that was the last you heard of me for 3 months...

I thought it would be easier

to get over you if i COMPLETELY erased you from my sight

and from my memory...

I was wrong..

Not only can i NOT get over you..

My heart,

once opened to love, closed up to feel only heartache..

And my eyes,

once opened to see the world, shut only to see the darkness

and only to feel tears of pain..

I promised myself i would never love you again..

But while composing this written composition

i realized i already broke that promise from the beginning...

Don't you understand??..

I never DID stop loving you..

I just wanted you to have a better life...

Oh, I've always loved you and i always will!!

But now i have to live with this broken promise..

And what do i have to say about it??

TO HELL WITH IT...

if truely we were meant to be,

you'd come back to me

and realize that our love is strong...



Even with our complications,

our love will find its way to conquer all!.. ^___^

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-10
I promised myself i would never love you again...

But you don't know how difficult it is for me

to stop caring for the one person who opened my heart to love...

who opened my eyes to see the world..

YOU were the world that i saw.

Those days when i was with you..

those days when we were together were the best days of my life. You were the first person who showed me what love was...

And it felt really good.

You were always there for me when i needed you..

You were the only person who understood me.

If we didn't see each other for just ONE day...

for every breath i would take,

took a little more strength out of me.

I miss those days.

You're probably thinking, "what the hell??..

She misses feeling like dying??"..

the answer is yes in a way..

It wasn't the fact that I liked the feeling of dying! (LOL)..

it was when we saw each other the next day,

it felt like we've been apart for a year..

The feeling that we missed each other so much..

that's what made me happy..

To love someone..

and to feel loved by someone that much...

It was love..

and it was REAL.

But there were complications to our relationship..

And different paths we were headed for...

I didn't want to see you struggle with the pain of the "end"

if we stayed together longer..

Just leading to nothing in the end...

I loved you that much..

I loved you enough to let you go free

and live your life so you could reach your goals..

So i ended it..

and that was the last you heard of me for 3 months...

I thought it would be easier

to get over you if i COMPLETELY erased you from my sight

and from my memory...

I was wrong..

Not only can i NOT get over you..

My heart,

once opened to love, closed up to feel only heartache..

And my eyes,

once opened to see the world, shut only to see the darkness

and only to feel tears of pain..

I promised myself i would never love you again..

But while composing this written composition

i realized i already broke that promise from the beginning...

Don't you understand??..

I never DID stop loving you..

I just wanted you to have a better life...

Oh, I've always loved you and i always will!!

But now i have to live with this broken promise..

And what do i have to say about it??

TO HELL WITH IT...

if truely we were meant to be,

you'd come back to me

and realize that our love is strong...



Even with our complications,

our love will find its way to conquer all!.. ^___^

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-9
When is the next time I will smile again?

And how will I get up after such a heavy fall?

That's why when life is good,

you have to hold it in your hand.

You have to close your eyes.

You have to breathe it in!

My happiness has ended while tragedy has yet to begin.

Today is the beginning.

The beginning of pain.

So is tomorrow the end?

The end of everything?

...The end of me?!

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-8
When is the next time I will smile again?

And how will I get up after such a heavy fall?

That's why when life is good,

you have to hold it in your hand.

You have to close your eyes.

You have to breathe it in!

My happiness has ended while tragedy has yet to begin.

Today is the beginning.

The beginning of pain.

So is tomorrow the end?

The end of everything?

...The end of me?!

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-7
Today is my birthday...Why am I so confused?

I can't describe my feelings that well...

I really really really like you.

It's to the point that I might as well confess that I love you.

Why am I so confused you ask?

Well I'll tell you why.

I've longed to be with you for the longest time.

I also did tell you my true feelings.

You started talking to me in a way that I thought you liked me too.

I was wrong.

You made me keep my feelings to myself for the sake of our friendship.

I did that for you.

But all of a sudden you stopped talking to me.

In school I'd see you

but you'd just ignore the fact that I'm struggling inside.

Next thing I know, you have a new love.

For the patience I've given you,

you just leave me hanging?

Just like cutting off my wings while flying strainless in the air.

How could you do this to me?

Today is my birthday

but I'm lifeless and dying inside.

Because of you!

Today is my birthday and I have 5 wishes...

I wish they'll come true..

*one* is to forget you.

*second* is so I wont miss you..

*third* is to find a new love..

*fourth* is for that love to love me just as I loved you..

*fifth* is to never see your stupid deceiving face ever again!

I'm done...I just want to live...

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-6
Sleepless nights..under starless skies.

Memories of the past that keep creeping up behind.

Drain these tears restrained in my eyes.

Rescue me from this pain...

...all i need is time...



(this may be short..but i think its pretty powerful..hehe)

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-6
Sleepless nights..under starless skies.

Memories of the past that keep creeping up behind.

Drain these tears restrained in my eyes.

Rescue me from this pain...

...all i need is time...



(this may be short..but i think its pretty powerful..hehe)

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-5
This diary's run out of pages
because on each and every line,
i had written your name
but i've crossed out, every single one.
the pages are torn; so is my heart
but i still look at it every night
to remind me never to make
the same mistake again

And writing a song would keep me awake
'cause i'm scared i'll dream of you

The ink bleeding through the paper
portrays a bleeding heart's melody
so i crumble up this chapter of my life
'cause it needs to be forgotten
...i wish it was that easy
if only it were that easy...

i'll never feel better.

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-5
This diary's run out of pages
because on each and every line,
i had written your name
but i've crossed out, every single one.
the pages are torn; so is my heart
but i still look at it every night
to remind me never to make
the same mistake again

And writing a song would keep me awake
'cause i'm scared i'll dream of you

The ink bleeding through the paper
portrays a bleeding heart's melody
so i crumble up this chapter of my life
'cause it needs to be forgotten
...i wish it was that easy
if only it were that easy...

i'll never feel better.

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-4
--I love you so much.--

* I promise I will never ever leave you.

* I promise I will never hurt you.

It's not like I will hurt you anyway...

I just can't...

Everything...

Everyone...

all things precious to me are being taken away from me;

are leaving me. It feels as if my life is just leaving...

leaking out of my withering cold body.

Leaving only my heart

Half Gone...

All the precious things I lost were dear to my heart.

So once they left...

pieces of my heart also disappeared.

Since when has this air I've been breathing felt so thick? As if each gasping breath I take is

poisoning me...

Painfully killing slowly.

But half my heart still remains. I'm guessing cuz I still have you...

Since you're the last remaining part of my heart,

I can never hurt you...

cuz hurting you,

will just be me hurting myself.

But life will go on...you'll see.

If we stay together I'll be able to recover from this illness one day.

You can save me and make my heart whole once again.

Just stay with me and I'll stay with you.

Like I said, I wont ever let you go.

So if we stay together now, we'll be together forever...

I Promise...

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-3
How can I tell you my feelings if you don't even care?

I love you with a passion, and there you are with feelings so bare.

One day, I just want you to look at me.

Not just at me, but deep into my eyes.

I want you to see the pain in my eyes.

I want you to seep into that pain flowing through my body.

Then, follow that pain until you get to my heart.

There my heart lies.

Not only empty,

but also falling apart.

I'm longing to feel my heart pumping,

beating, flames burning with love once again.

Oh, you would see all this if only you would look into my eyes.

Whenever you walk past me,

there I am looking at you.

Always giving you a chance to look into my eyes.

You glance back looking straight at me.

But there's a barrier

that's keeping you from melting into my eyes.

You see, my eyes are trying to show you

that the pain is coming from my heart.

So the barrier is your own eyes

showing me that your heart

fails to show any feelings for me whatsoever.

I hate you, but I love you.

My heart is falling apart

because of waiting for you.

But still,

I'd wait a lifetime for you.

Cuz even though you're the person who's killing me,

you're also the only person who could save me...

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-2
You look at me and I look at you.

We look into each other's eyes,

but I don't know what you are thinking.

You already know what I think of you,

but I still don't know what you think of me.

Are your eyes telling me that you have the same feelings as me?

How should I know?

My eyes show my feelings for you.

For I trust you enough to look deep into my eyes

to find the answers you are looking for.

So if you can just trust me,

I will look deep into your eyes...

and someday I shall find the answers to all my doubts.

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-2
You look at me and I look at you.

We look into each other's eyes,

but I don't know what you are thinking.

You already know what I think of you,

but I still don't know what you think of me.

Are your eyes telling me that you have the same feelings as me?

How should I know?

My eyes show my feelings for you.

For I trust you enough to look deep into my eyes

to find the answers you are looking for.

So if you can just trust me,

I will look deep into your eyes...

and someday I shall find the answers to all my doubts.

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-1
I try so hard to picture myself as the girl that will always be in your arms.

The one that will always get to see your face,

and the girl that will make your heart race.

It just tears me apart to realize that it can never come true.

I can hope and dream all I want to one day be that girl that will be in your heart,

but what for?

I can say how much I love you

and tell you what I can give you,

but again, what for?

People say that nothing is impossible,

but I know in my heart that this is indeed impossible.

Even though I know I can never have you,

why do I still try?

I guess that's just how much I fucking love you!

If for some reason you are ready to hold me in your arms,

my life would be complete.

I would never let you go,

for my feelings are just too deep.

I would look towards your face

and look deep into your eyes.

To see if your eyes would tell me a story;

to see if your feelings are the same as mine.

I would hold you close to me,

lay my head on your chest,

and close my eyes.

To try and see if I could listen to your heart.

To see if it's me who's making your heart race.

But I can't think of these feelings right now,

for the girl that is in your heart is right next to me.

I can tell that you guys love each other,

and that you guys are truly meant for each other.

So I might as well just go to my room and close the door.

Not just the door to my room,

but the door in my heart!!

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[MY WRITINGS] Continuation-1
I try so hard to picture myself as the girl that will always be in your arms.

The one that will always get to see your face,

and the girl that will make your heart race.

It just tears me apart to realize that it can never come true.

I can hope and dream all I want to one day be that girl that will be in your heart,

but what for?

I can say how much I love you

and tell you what I can give you,

but again, what for?

People say that nothing is impossible,

but I know in my heart that this is indeed impossible.

Even though I know I can never have you,

why do I still try?

I guess that's just how much I fucking love you!

If for some reason you are ready to hold me in your arms,

my life would be complete.

I would never let you go,

for my feelings are just too deep.

I would look towards your face

and look deep into your eyes.

To see if your eyes would tell me a story;

to see if your feelings are the same as mine.

I would hold you close to me,

lay my head on your chest,

and close my eyes.

To try and see if I could listen to your heart.

To see if it's me who's making your heart race.

But I can't think of these feelings right now,

for the girl that is in your heart is right next to me.

I can tell that you guys love each other,

and that you guys are truly meant for each other.

So I might as well just go to my room and close the door.

Not just the door to my room,

but the door in my heart!!

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[MY WRITINGS]
Not too long ago I could look into the mirror and see my

reflection...

A reflection of joy and happiness...

Always smiling, always happy...

But I can't do that anymore..

for when I look into the mirror I don't see the same reflection...

I see running make-up down my face and pools of tears almost

deep enough to drown myself...

actually, I don't see any reflection...

for it's as if I'm looking right through me...

You see, I can't go back to how I was before...

I can't go back to being happy 'cuz that was when I was with

you...but now you are gone...

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