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myOtaku.com: Angel Zakuro

Sunday, August 16, 2009

This is just a lot of me rambling on depressingly! SORRY! Don't read it if you don't want to feel worse. XD
Hello, hello. :) Thanks sooooooo much for the comments! I love you guys. <333 jamo, Deb, Oli-chan, Gabri, Raisha, sesshlu, Sinny, Char, and teapot! Arigatou a ton for visiting me. It's been quite some time for a few of you! And it makes me happy to hear from you guys again. ♥ I would reply specifically, as you know, but I'm not up to it at the moment! Sorry~~

Yeah, this is kinda going to be a pointless, shorter post. I'm so sorry! .___. Cause that's not like me at all, lol. It's just that I didn't post yesterday when I normally would...and it's late...and I want to take a shower, haha. I wasn't in the mood AT ALL to post yesterday. Anyone in my line of sight really got some wrath from me. ^^; I was in a bad mood...not feeling well, getting depressed, and then just being really mad. I wish I had a really good reason for those things aside from my Phillies losing the baseball game in the last inning (after winning most of the game) and it being "that time of the month," but I honestly don't think I have better ones. I had a major headache again. I swear. I have them all the time nowadays!! *sigh* It's not fair. v__v And of course my neck aches...oh, Deb, yes, my chiropractor has shown me neck exercises to try and help, but they actually make my neck feel worse sometimes. Aside from aches and pains, I just felt down overall. And today hasn't been any better which is why I didn't post like I normally would. I know. I'm some sort of obsessed freak with this site and feeling like I have to post often. Sorry.

I was thinking about that, too. Like what's the point in me writing all of this? Why DO we write blogs? I mean, are we really selfish self-centered people that think that other people want to hear about our "oh-so special" lives? I don't know. So I was kinda feeling bad about posting, lol. It sounds ridiculous, I know! Cause here I am doing it again! [and it's not like I don't like commenting you guys; I love doing that!] Rambling off my stupid thoughts and opinions and things that are going on in my life that are SO not interesting. ~___~' Sorry. D: I guess...just...doing this kinda helps me. It helps me get out these pent-up feelings or rants or thoughts going around and around in my mind. I feel that sharing them releases me a little bit since I don't talk to friends IRL about my problems...and even as much as I love and trust my mom, I don't really talk to her about how I really feel. I'm just not comfortable talking about them to people in person...the anonymity and sort of impersonality of the internet helps me! Gosh I sure wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have this site. If I didn't have the internet! I remember back in middle school when I still didn't even WANT to get an email address. Cause it was the new-ish "popular" thing to do. That and have AIM. My friend made me get one and set it up for me, too, lol...and now I couldn't live without email.

That was random. ^^; Uh, yeah. So today I haven't been in a good mood either...I've felt like crap. And my dad and brothers haven't helped things. Gawd. I swear Corey will be the death of me one day. Unless I get to him first. And he will be the death of you guys, too, since you're probably all VERY tired of listening to me rant about him. So I won't be specific about what he said, but he made a big stupid argument and made me feel really bad about me selling my manga. As if I don't deserve the money, even though they're mine and I sold them. *sigh* Again, I won't go into it. That happened during dinner, and also my dad got to me. He said that I needed a makeover and started making fun of my hair. Derek then joined in. Ok, so great. I'm not the best looking. I know that already, thanks. And I know it's just how family members are, but it isn't fair. It doesn't help my self-esteem at all. That bubble of mine has been soooo deflated lately. I guess that's why I just like staying home and reading or playing video games all day...

Too bad I can't do that for much longer. School starts next monday. And I know some of you go back this week...or already returned. My condolences, unless of course you enjoy it. I wish you all the best luck.

So I posted on my world the other day. I talked about how we went to the DMV to get that state picture ID thing (not a driver's license), and how we didn't have the right things for it...and it was so busy. So I didn't do it, and now I don't know when I'll get an ID. >>' After that, we just did some shopping. I felt so down that day! Blah!!! Things just haven't been going well lately...I know I'm not having problems like a lot of people. There are so many people way worse off than me, but oh well. I'm not them and so I can only feel my insignificant problems. That's how we humans are...we can only feel ourselves. We're in our own little worlds with our own little problems. So yeah, sorry~~~~ I'm getting so depressive here! O__O

I think I should just stop now. XD I'll send people off the deep end if I continue!! Lol. I don't think I have anything else to talk about anyway. Uh, my mom painted my nails today! My toes are now green, and my finger nails are copper. <33 I really like them!! Aside from that I played video games, duh. And read. Oh jeez, I so don't wanna go back to school. I have such anxiety about it! I'm worrying about it every night and every morning so it's hard to sleep. It's how I get before it starts up again. T__T I always envied those that enjoyed school. It makes things a lot easier that way. I mean, I don't mind learning...I really like learning, but it's the whole social aspect that gets me. >>;

Ok, seriously. I'm done now. I'm sorry for ranting and raving and rambling so much in this post!!! That's all it was. I'm hoping that next time it will be more cheery! I love you guys! If you don't want to comment here, that's ok. Feel free to just tell me about your day or ask me some questions! ^_^ Thankies again. *hugs* Take care everyone~~ Please don't blame me if you feel like killing yourselves now, lol.

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