Monday, July 4, 2005

   o.o
Well all, I'm making this short 'cause I'm going to bed real soon.

Went to bed at like 1:30 AM last night; Got up at around 6:30 AM; Got ready; Went to the parade; Got sunburnt on either arm.(Ow.) A little on my face too; Went back to Steffanies house (I was with her and her parents at the parade, of course.) they ate, I was too..nervous, or something, to eat. Then we went to my house, then the park; Had an awesome time for the most part. Heh; Then we went back to my house where I regretfully had to let go and wait until TOMORROW Lol. Which will be around 10:30-11:00 AM ish I think. God I hope...

Sexual frustration is evil!! Oi. Lol.

I love you Steffanie! You have no idea how much! (Ok, you might. :p )

Night all,
-Ryan.
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Sunday, July 3, 2005

   Heh.
Hey guys, in an effort to boost Steffanies self-esteem, and maybe give her a slight idea of why I love her, I'm going to list the qualities that I love her for. ^^

-She's open minded.
-She's kind and considerate.
-She and I can talk about anything and everything. ^^
-She and I have a great connection.
-She and I can tell when eachother is upset, or has something on their mind.
-She and I are both physically attracted, as well as emotionally and mentally. All three, woot. :p
-She and I have similiar personalitys, but enough difference to stop it from becoming boring.
-She thinks about the things that I don't, when in a complicated situation.
-She's not pompous, or arrogant...Nor ignorant, and while she has an open mind, she isn't afraid to let someone know of her practices. ( I think. This is really just an assumption, about the practices that is.)
-She's partly pessimistic, which contradicts my partial optimistic side, though this would normally be bad, it's not soley because it is something we differ on a little bit. Contradictory view points is good for us when we find them, because we have so much in common. Can't have -too- much in common.
-The emotional and physical attachment I have for her is by far different then any other relationship I've been in. Which is not bad. <.<
-Her kisses captivate me for the moment that it's shared. >.>
-She touches me just the way I want to be touched. ^^
-She helps me if there is something on my mind, and if not she makes me forget about it--sometimes. >.>
-Her height and weight is just enough. ^^ Not too big, not too small. Just right.
-Her hand fits very nicely in my own.
-Her voice is gentle, soothing...comforting, arousing; Depending on the tone and what she says. <<; Obviously, but she has the ability to do all of those things with it. Easily. >>
-I could spend hours and hours with her, and at the end of the day I still want more.
-Sometimes I get paranoid, and so does she, but we ease eachother when it gets voiced, or atleast try.
-We have similar beliefs. ^-^
-The way I could just stare into her eyes.

I could very well continue, but I think this is more then enough for a self esteem boost, and to give her an idea of how much I love her, and why. ^^

I love you Steffanie Lynne! ^-^
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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

   ...o.o...
...I'm in a really odd mood...and I don't really like it...

All of a sudden I'm paranoid, about what? Well first let me ask you a question

Have you ever been so in love with someone, that you want to be absolutely perfect for them? Even when you know you can't be...-Perfect.-...?

Yeah, well...that's pretty much how I feel...Also, I'm paranoid about a very heavy, and deep fear of mine...which is...

...Well, pretty much...Being unsatisfying in bed...If you get my drift. <.< Which I'm sure most of you, if not all of you, do...

That's like, all I'm worried about...But it's been a fear of mine for years...I can't help it, at all...I just...forget about it, until it's somehow thought of again...then I go through this...

Extreme paranoia...Well not that bad...but I worry about it...Alot...I mean, Sex isn't the biggest thing...But I don't want to be unpleasing...you know? I want to satisfy my lover...I don't want to suck...I wanna be good, if not great. O.o Fantastic, magnificent. Lol...I'm a romantic, what can I say? Being a romantic is one of the only things I have going for me, other then my wonderfully charming girlfriend Steffanie.

:: Sighs. :: Well, in other news I talked to her(Steffanie.) for like Three-Four hours earlier...I had alot of fun talking to her, it was awesome...We have so much in common, and I can read her thoughts at times...We really have a fantastic connection. ^^

Well, I guess that's all...
-Ryan.

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Monday, June 27, 2005

   Hm.
Hey all. Today was, well, pretty freaking sweet.

I hung out with Steffanie at her store from like. 2-5, or so...Which was brilliant...I had fun! As well, I got to spend time with my love, so I was/am very happy about that. Though, letting go if such a bitch. :p

I watched like 5 episodes of Degrassi...o.o Woot.

Then I talked to Steff online for a while, and then called her.

Best--Conversation--Ever.

Rofl...Oh my, it was great...and I can't tell any of ya'll a DAMN thing because it's hella personal...But it was really quite fantastic. Lol!

I'll just say this...Be glad she was not at my house tonight...Heh. I'm so evil. :-p

Take care all,
-Ryan.
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

o.o...
oday was ...Awesome, though it had it's down falls, of course..The ruddy awesome part was that Steffanie was at my house for like...::Counts::...for like 10 hours..Wow. We had an awesome time though...

I'll just make a little comment that, she said I was a good kisser...Yay! I was reallllly quite glad to hear that. O.o I guess I'm a quick learner. Haha! Though my aim O.o still needs a bit of work..but I'm sure she doesn't mind the practice. XDD

Onto the main story:

Steffanie and I went outside on the porch and just cuddled and kissed and talked for a while...Jeremy kept disturbing us, wether it was turning the light on, and hurting our eyes then acting like a fool; Or simply attempting to sneak up on us...just to gawk, I suppose...:: Sigh :: Then Mom came by and said "It's getting kind of late guys." and it was only like 11:45-Midnight-ish...Dad let me OUT until 1:00...why couldn't I freakin' stay on my own PORCH past twelve? Meh...But finally her and I, if not just her, decided she should go....and I walked her to her car, where we justs tood there and kissed and talked a little...She said she hasn't been so attached to someone, and said she loved me and I of course said I did as well...then after she unfortuantely, finally left, I went inside, grabbed some food and drink, and went upstairs; Ate, then went to my parents room, where I chose to discuss the privacy issue...Where I said I could just go somewhere else (Meaning like, take her car and drive someone to hang out at..), but she took it as me leaving HOME to move in somewhere else. -_-..-.-... ._. ...But yeah...so I got upset, after fighting(Not physically.) with Mom in the Broom a little, I walked past her into the room while she took a piss, and talked to dad. Oh, prior to her going to the bathroom she had made a remark about statutory rape. -_-;; Since she's 19, and I'm 16...meh...in any case..I was upset...so I came back in here afterwards...and yeah..that's where I am now...But in any case...I guess that's it.

Take Care All,
-Ryan.
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Monday, June 20, 2005

   Hehe.
Well guys--today, for the most part, kicked major ass. O.o Why? What, you wanna know? Should I really tell you...? Yeah, I think I will. :p

Well I woke up, went over and hung out with Aaron for quite some time. All the while, missing Steffanie like mad. <.> Oh yes, THAT was quite...horrid.

:p BUT THERE IS GOOD NEWS. Oh, yes yes yes there is. ^-^ She came over! Yay! After of course calling; Which while she was getting ready to come over and did so, I was cleaning my room, and I took a shower. XD Hah.

Needless to say, we had alot of fun! We where just like cuddling on my porch. Hehe. ^-^ I love cuddling. Kissing and hugging is of course awesome as well! :p Especially from her. ^_^

I feel so comfortable with her, it's awesome! I'm really happy about that. I was kinda anxious, and a little nervous before she came over, but after just a little bit, all was shwwweeeet. XD :-p

After like three hours of talking and/or cuddling, it was decided that she should go home, and so she did! But not before a few more kisses and hugs near the car. :-p Of course, I have to add that I asked her out! I'll give you all a play by play, so-to-speak, of how it went. In STORY STYLE..DUN DUN DUN...Heh.

While having his arms wrapped around Steffanie, he looked at her and into her eyes, smiling a little as he gazed into her green orbs; Which if he had to distunish the look in them, he would say content, at the least.
"I want to be with you, will you be?" Ryan asked, smiling a little more then slightly.
"Yes I will." Steffanie said, smiling and hugged him, as Ryan hugged her back.

Yeah, that's about how it went. If it's imperfect, bite me. It was awesome and you know you loved it. :P

All in all, today was eventful, and then RUDDY AWESOME. :P XD

Take care all!
-Ryan.

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Sunday, June 19, 2005

   Heh...
Boo! Scared ya, didn't I? :p

Well today was alright. I'ma make this post short--hopefully.

Worked from 3:00 or 4:00 until about 10 minutes 'till 10:00 PM. It went alright, I didn't do anything wrong...I got praise though, twice...Something about sweeping and not tracking dirt in while I was sweeping the sidewalk. O.o Then again after I spent like 30 mins straight or so cleaning a freakin' food heater...It was really greasy...But Carl said I did an excellent job..so I was happy about that.

I talked to Steffanie, woot! ^^ I talked to her on the phone...shes low on cash, and gas, so she couldn't come up tonight...She doesn't work too many hours 'cause of College...so I can understand...I'll be able to help her with gas, so she can see me and get around. ^^ lol. Just gotta wait until I get my first paycheck...

I just found out not long ago that I only work Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, until the Grand Opening...And, I have tomorrow off! So I can see Steffanie, I hope! God, I hope...I really really hope! I miss her!

Well, that's all for this post...I could ramble on about missing her, but meh. :-p

Take care all!
-Ryan.
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Saturday, June 18, 2005

   Long post. o.o..Ee.
Hey everyone! Heh, well...my day had its ups and downs! But more ups! Definitely. ^^

Well,I woke up; changed clothes; went to Aarons; came home; got ready; Mom came home; Jeremy told Mom about a garage sale; We went there; got exersive equipment; came home; got in the car soon after.

Now, since Mom pulled into the yard, we have to drive out through the yard, and guess what? We hit a bump! Guess what again? The exhuast fell off. -.- Yup, mofo hit the bump and there ya go, mofo fell off. Cool huh?--No.

Well, work itself was alright...Exept when I was trying to put butter knifes in their respective places, and dropped them on the ground...just after they were washed...Meh. I hate making mistakes, and doing things like that...makes me feel like shit...but that's life sometimes, eh? Lol

Soon after that though, maybe--maybe 20 mins, Elizabeth ask me to take out a trash can full of beer bottles out to the dumpster, so I do that, and I acidentally put it in the wrong one...And this guy, evidently named Ron, which is apparently Erics(Owner.) Father! He said something to the effect of "It goes in the RIGHT dumpster, the RIGHT one! Get it right next time!" It wasn't so much what he said, but rather the tone that he used when saying it. After that, I walked back into Mojos, just beginning to hold back tears and I asked where to place the trash can and I put it where it was suppose to be...

I walked back into the kitchen, and realize that a few minutes prior to me going outside, Mom had told me dad was waiting outside. (Mom is the manager, if you didn't know...) So I went outside, and sat down. I was pretty upset...and I was trying really hard to fight back tears. He asked how it went(Dad did.) and I said it went alright. Then he asked what was wrong, so I said nothing like three times, since he asked me that many times, or so...Well then I started to let tears fall when we started to pull away. Damn it, I couldn't help it. Then Dad was telling me I shouldn't take things personally(Understandable.) but of course I retorted stating that I couldn't really do that...I couldn't really help it. I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried...it didn't work...But oh well, I got a good cry which always freakin' owns.

Well when I got home, Amanda was on the porch; Guess who she was talking too? You guessed right, Steffanie. :P Well, I grabbed a little bit of something to eat(Yeah, that was all I ate..two pieces of pizza...all day..My appetites being really weird lately.)all day. She wanted to hang out and watch a movie with her friend in Antsville, I think it was? So she came over, and I got in with a piece of pizza in hand. XD Then I ate it, of course, and we started off.

To make a longer story short, we couldn't find her, and she called Steffanies Moms house, heh...Steffanie told her mom we'd be there...but..yeah...Heh...I really hope she isn't in trouble...

Well, we went to the park, and it was really nice out. The moon was out, and it was setting a very nice light...though there where normal lights, but still! Nothing beats moon light. So we played around in the kiddy train, haha, and just talked and had fun. ^^ Which it was indeed very fun. She definitely cheered me up.
Well we got home, I showed her around my house a little bit, and we went up to my room where amanda was talking on the phone with..someone or another while laying in my bed. (Cord phone is in my room, she does that when the cordless dies...<.<...>.>...) We listened to music a little bit, then she said (For like the third time. XD ) that she should get home, and that every time I whimpered(I do a little puppy whimper..<.<...)she had to stay. XD Or something similar to that. So we finally went downstairs, got outside, I opened the door for her, and I turned around and we hugged for a while. Mmm...I wanted to just stay like that forever, heh...then I moved my head back a little bit, and I looked into her eyes, moved foward and we kissed a few times. ^^ It was quite nice really, heh. That's all I'm gonna say. XD For fear of making Steffanie blush harder then she probably already is. o.o Woot for Ryan. Hah. I made a comment that I sucked at kissing but she said I was alright, and that I just needed practice. XD I was like "Fine by me." heh. After that I just hugged her for a moment or two, and she had to go...So unfortunate. Heh...^^ So, I'm rather happy. Lol.Yay! It's hard to be around her and not smile. ^^ I miss her! Lol. Jesus, I hope I'm not being obsessive...maybe it's because tonight I'm just...kinda emotional, my emotions are everywhere really...I was like Bi Polar today.XD...One minute I was exetremly sad, next I was brilliantly happy, then sad again. O.o It was strange, but not horrbile or anything. ^^

Well that's it for the uber long entry!
Take care all!
-Ryan.
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Thursday, June 16, 2005

   Heh.
Hey everyone, making this short cause I gotta go to sleep! Work tomorrow at 1! Geh.

Talked to Danielle today. Woot. A shweet conversation as always! Lol.

Talked to Steffanie today. It was my first time talking to her on the phone, but nevertheless it was great! ^^ I'm glad she can have conversations about nothing and anything, atleast it seems...those people kick major ass...'cause I sort of suck at that. Hah. :P

Well, tomorrow I work from 1-whenever...Gonna see if I can get to the Woodland parade to see Staffanie, she'll be in the marching band. O.o Woot.

Well, that's it! Take care all!
-Ryan.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

   Quick post #2
Well today was a bit how I expect it to be: Agitating.

First, my dad said I couldn't go take my test because I couldn't sign a fucking perfect SIGNATURE. -.- Now, I was practicing, and now it isn't too bad..<<;; But still! It was a BS exuse...I mean, yeah...you gotta write real small for the permit in cursive(Which I really suck at.) but, never the less...I know part of him was doing it because he didn't think I was read for the test itself, which was bullshit, I say--bullshit! >> Though more studying is never a bad thing--normally...

So, I'll just have to wait until freakin' Friday...meh...oh well...

As far as the day itself, it was alright. Hung out with Aaron, hah...what a suprise that is, huh? Lol. I plunged my head in his pool 'cause I was sweating like no other. O.o Made my sinus' feel funky. Heh. <.<

I talked to Steffanie earlier, woot woot. I'm gonna see if I can get Aaron to drive me down to the clearfield mall and see her at work...O.o Normally I would see that as disrespectful, and if not that, just plain rude. <.< But she wanted me to. o.o So it's all good.
She's gonna call me at 7-7:30ish, O.o Woot. Lol.

I got really agitated earlier when I had to fill out a freakin' work application form...it sucked, and I had to write down my stupid signature like four times, and White-Out a few things for the horrible hand writing..heh.

Besides that, I finished writing a decent sized History for my character in another RPG...Kyles RPG. <.< It was alright, nothing fantastic. lol Just something to use. ^^ But I rather like it. >>

Take care all!
-Ryan.
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