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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

   A Certainty of Tomorrow...Is That There Isn't One

Current Music: Chihiro Onitsuka : Beautiful Fighter :: Current Mood: Depressed/Lonely :: Time Posted: 6:14PM ET

Hey everybody. Sorry I haven't been around in a long time. A lot has happened since I last posted here. Let's see. I've taken the SATs, gotten my SAT scores back, broken up with my boyfriend, had my 17th birthday, finished my junior year to officially become a senior in high school, attempted to get my boyfriend back [and failed], and now I'm worrying about Otakon while still trying to get over him.

Ok. I'll start from the beginning. The SATs. Well...let's just say...I plan on taking them again. >_>

Right. I broke up with my boyfriend two days before my birthday. What a wonderful present, huh? So basically...I spent the whole day upset about that. I'm pretty sure it was definitely the worst birthday I've had. About the only good thing was being able to have one of my friends come to my party that I hadn't seen in a long time. Mainly because I didn't have him to come...and nobody else could come either. It was at an amusement park. That was enough in itself to make me remember him...because we were supposed to ride roller coasters together. But I got through the day...and it wasn't completely horrible.

Anyway, two days after my birthday, and only four days after we broke up...we had our last day of school. I'm finally going to be a senior! I so can't wait to graduate. This town is driving me insane. Along with almost everybody in it. Including the completely inconsiderate jerk wads. The only thing keeping me going is knowing that I only have one year left to deal with them.

So my attempts of getting him back. My attempts that ended in failure. One reason we broke up was because he moved. Another is because he didn't like how I didn't talk to him about stuff. I tried to prove to him that I could talk to him if he gave me another chance. Now he's telling me we're just too different. -_- I personally think we're a lot more alike than he realizes though.

Now Otakon. I'm worrying about it because I'm still not sure I'll be able to go. I had been looking forward to it ever since I got in the car on the long drive home in August last year. But with all that's been happening, I haven't been paying a lot of attention to getting ready for it. So I don't have a lot of money, and I still haven't gotten a costume. Part of me really wants to go, but the other part just keeps saying, "what's the point?" Because all I've been able to do is think about him.

Now I understand I should just get over it. Trust me, I've been trying to. But I just keep thinking about how much I miss him. I felt like he was the one. I've changed. I'm not the same person I was before I met him. He helped me realize things about myself. And now I feel I can never go back to being the same person. The things I loved don't matter to me as much as they once did. Now all he does is tell me he never acted like he thought I was the one too. Which is a complete lie. My family saw him for what he was, but I couldn't. I stood up to him so many times...and all for nothing apparently.

Well...I'm sorry for any of you who bothered reading all of that. I know I need to stop dwelling on the bad things. I need to move on. After all, that's what life's about. It knocks you down, and you just need to get back up and keep going.

So on a good note...I've found out about Gackt's new song! Haha! Hmm. And I'm hoping to get the NANA 2 movie as soon as I can. Once I actually get enough money. >_> I want to see it so bad! Umm...I might be getting a job soon. So that will help with money. But I need to get my license soon or my permit is going to expire. >.<;;

Ok...I guess that's it. If I've learned anything lately, it's that nothing in this world is certain. Expect that what you think will happen, may never come to be. And don't give your heart away too easily. -_-
Sorry for no pictures or anything. And sorry for not getting back to people on here. I'll try to get around to it. Well...until next time. TTYL! ~Younggrasshopper

Black Stones

Oosaki Nana Honjo Ren Terashima Nobuo Takagi Yasushi Okazaki Shinichi
Oosaki Nana Honjo Ren Terashima Nobuo Takagi Yasushi Okazaki Shinichi


Serizawa Reira Ichinose Takumi Honjo Ren Fujieda Naoki
Serizawa Reira Ichinose Takumi Honjo Ren Fujieda Naoki


Komatsu Nana Komatsu Nana

Yes. There are more, but I don't feel like putting them. Check out this site for more.

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