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Friday, May 1, 2009

So here's the story..

Around Jan. last year, I started dating a girl. I loved her more than anything. I knew her before- I could just barely talk to her because mum hates her. Introduced me to yaoi/yuri, porn, 4chan ect.
anyway. We were happy meeting in secret. We texted and called eachother all the time. Talked for hours a day. Blissful.

Then I moved.
You see- I'm a mirror. I discovered this in..October? I take in personality, mood, habit, traits if I'm with them enough. anyway, this town- Wetaskiwin- horrible place. Scary, crime filled..
So when we moved- I didn't want to go out. So I was with mum more and more. All I could do to talk to my girlfriend was text over phone. She was long distance and it would show up on the bill. I wasn't legal yet. She was 3 years older.
So I became like mum more.. fought easy, never at fault.. I never even realised.
Not only that, I tried school again after a lifetime of homeschool.
Everything was hell.
I was desperate for friends. One of them.. He liked me. A lot. I kinda liked him to. So we got close. I felt so guilty, so..horrible. I was sorting things out eventually.
She dumped me October 8.
I was distraught. I was hoping to maybe fix things, when.. December came. We were both horrid to each other even more. I can't remember the unhappy blur that well. My head hurts when I think about it lately. I'll tell you another time when my thoughts are straight.
Then. April 3rd.
I was irritable. Angry. She was being all high and mighty. And I said some things I shouldn'tve.
We are no longer friends. We were 'enemies' according to her. After a couple weeks, she talked to me. Barely. Every few days for a couple irritable notes.
I changed out of desparation. I'm not like anyone atm. She doesn't believe me though. She'll consider it in three months, she said.

In the two weeks we didn't talk..
she got a boyfriend.

Now I don't know what to do.

Should I wait? See if she's bluffing about the relationship?
distance myself in case it's true?
Continue to chase after her?
I don't know.

Now I'm breaking up with the guy I've been with. I'm trying to get a girlfriend again..
Got a kitten.
Going to move in with some guys soon..

Well there you go. Everything I can think of now.

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