Saturday, October 15, 2005
~Chapter Four~ “Reasons Why Not to Sleep With Stuffed Animals”
Tsuzuki yawned and rubbed his eyes. Tatsumi had pried him off his leg and locked himself in his bedroom again, and Muraki had passed out on the couch. This left Tsuzuki to deal with Watari, who, for some unknown reason, had suddenly decided Tsuzuki’s hair would look utterly adorable with pink bows tied into it randomly.
“Watari, I really don’t think pink is my colour…” Tsuzuki whined sleepily.
“Of course it is!” Watari chirped, “I have excellent taste in such things, and I say it suits you perfectly. It compliments your purple eyes, see.”
Tsuzuki wasn’t too sure about that, but he figured it probably wasn’t a smart idea to argue with someone when they had a fistful of your hair.
“Where’s Hisoka?” Tsuzuki asked, suddenly aware that he hadn’t seen the smaller boy since they first tried to sneak into Tatsumi’s kitchen. Watari paused from his bow-tying duties to look around.
“I’m not sure…oh! There he is,” he said, pointing over to the corner, “Too much excitement I guess. He’s fallen asleep.”
“Hisoka is smart,” Tsuzuki noted, stifling another yawn. “I’m kind of tired too, Watari. Maybe we should go to sleep as well.” Watari thought about this for a moment before nodding and taking the bows out of Tsuzuki’s hair.
“Should we let Sei-chan know?” He pondered aloud. Tsuzuki solved this by hopping over to Tatsumi’s door and knocking gently. Very gently. Barely audible. Which was kind of silly, because…
“Tatsumiiii~! We’re gonna go to sleep now, okay!? Nightynight!” He called through the keyhole. Watari stuck a finger in his ear and wondered if he was deaf now or not.
“Fine! Sleep well!” Tatsumi’s voice came back, just as loudly. Muraki snorted and rolled over on the couch. Watari watched in awe as the bundle that was Hisoka didn’t even have a change in his breathing. Offhand, Watari wished he could sleep that deeply.
Tsuzuki plopped himself back on the floor next to Watari and curled up in his sleeping bag.
“Night, Watari,” he yawned, “Sleep well.”
“You too,” Watari mumbled, before crawling into his own sleeping bag.
Tsuzuki had been dozing in that half-awake state before sleep for a few minutes, before he noticed something sliding over the outside of his sleeping bag. He tried brushing it off, only to notice it was Watari’s hand.
Watari’s. Hand. Wandering all over his body.
Shuddering at all sorts of mental images that found their way into his head, Tsuzuki crawled away from the longhaired blonde caterpillar-style (as he was still in his sleeping bag). He settled down again several meters away from Watari, and fell back into his dozing state.
At least until something light brushed his cheek.
He sighed and looked up, only to realize he’d crawled directly under Muraki’s hand that was dangling off the couch. Bad choice.
“Nn…Asato-kun…” Muraki mumbled in his alcohol-induced sleep. Tsuzuki sweatdropped and started to crawl in another direction, too late. Muraki’s hand snagged Tsuzuki’s sleeping bag and hauled it up onto the couch with him. Tsuzuki started to yelp, but then remembered everyone else was asleep. He didn’t really want to wake them all up.
Plus, Muraki’s hands were wandering, and he really didn’t want everyone to wake up and find him in this position. Although Muraki would probably be pleased.
“How can you…do things like this…even in your sleep?” Tsuzuki asked as he wormed his way out of Muraki’s embrace. Muraki didn’t answer, but then, Tsuzuki hadn’t really expected him to.
With a plop, Tsuzuki landed back on the floor. He began worming his way across the room before Muraki’s body noticed the lack of warm Tsuzuki next to it.
He settled next to Hisoka happily. At least he wouldn’t start feeling Tsuzuki up in his sleep. At least, Tsuzuki didn’t think he would, but you just never knew things like that nowadays.
Tsuzuki settled down and started dozing again, which finally lead to sleep. For several hours, there was beautiful, peaceful silence in Tatsumi’s house, despite it’s current occupants.
In the wee hours of the morning, Hisoka blearily came awake. He could have sworn he felt someone grope him. He wondered how anyone got into his sleeping bag without him knowing. He looked down to see who it might be.
And promptly screamed the house awake.
“Hisoka? Hisoka! What’s wrong?” Tsuzuki asked the smaller boy, who had attached himself to Tsuzuki’s torso. Watari was wide awake already, and Tatsumi had come bursting in when he heard Hisoka scream.
“Th…the…ra…ra…” He pointed a shaky finger towards his sleeping bag. Muraki, who was grumpy and hungover already, wandered over and tipped Hisoka’s sleeping bag upside down.
Kumagoro fell out.
“The rabbit molested me!” Hisoka cried in horror, then buried his face in Tsuzuki’s chest, sobbing.
“Ano…Hisoka…it’s just a toy, ne?” Tsuzuki said soothingly.
“Right,” Watari agreed, “there’s no possible way it molested you.”
“It probably just shifted while you were sleeping,” Tatsumi added. Muraki was examining the stuffed rabbit. Suddenly he yelped and scuttled backwards.
“Mu…Muraki-kun?” Tatsumi blinked at Muraki’s odd behaviour. Muraki pointed at the stuffed toy.
“It…it really did just grope me!” He said quietly, his eyes wide with horror. A vein popped out of Tatsumi’s forehead and he stomped Muraki’s nose.
“What do you think you’re doing? Trying to scare Kurosaki-kun like that!?” He snarled.
“I’m not lying!” Muraki yelped, “I’m really not! It came alive, I swear!” Mentally, he noted his nose needed setting again.
“See? See? I’m not crazy!” Hisoka cried. Tsuzuki, Watari and Tatsumi looked at each other, then at Kumagoro. Tatsumi stepped towards it.
“Careful, Tatsumi,” Tsuzuki mumbled. Tatsumi took a deep breath, then picked the plush pink rabbit up. He looked it over for a few moments.
“You’re all kooky,” he said finally. “It’s just a normal toy rabbi—EEK!” He dropped Kumagoro and leapt backwards. “It…it groped me!” He shrieked, “It really did! What the hell kind of toy is that, Muraki-kun!?”
“I don’t know!” Muraki flapped his arms around in confusion, “I figured it was just like any old toy!”
“It’s evil!” Hisoka shrieked, “Evil beyond all other evils!”
“So let’s get rid of it then!” Tsuzuki beamed, throwing a V sign.
Watari was wondering about the sanity of the other boys in the room at the moment. It still looked like any old stuffed rabbit to him. But this was proving to be an interesting game, and certainly alleviated any boredom.
“Why don’t we just throw it out the window then?” Watari offered. Everyone else nodded emphatically.
“You do it, Muraki-kun,” Tatsumi said, “it’s your stupid toy, after all.”
“No way,” Muraki replied, “I’m not going anywhere near it.”
“Ne, Tatsumi, do you have a broom?” Tsuzuki’d had an idea. “We could just nudge it out the door or something.”
“Right.” Tatsumi disappeared to find a broom, while everyone else stood and stared at Kumagoro. Kumagoro himself didn’t seem to bothered by all the fuss, but then, he was just a stuffed rabbit, so what was he supposed to do?
Tatsumi returned with a broom.
“Let’s push it all the way to the sidewalk,” Tsuzuki said, “that way someone else might pick it up or it might blow away or something.” Everyone else nodded in agreement – this was a good idea. But now they had to decide who was going to actually risk coming into contact with Kumagoro again.
“You do it,” Tatsumi said, handing the broom to Muraki.
“No way. You do it,” Muraki said, pushing it back towards Tatsumi.
“It’s your stupid toy,” Tatsumi bit out.
“It’s your stupid house,” Muraki replied.
“Just get rid of it already, you idiots!” Hisoka screeched.
“I’d offer to do it, except for two reasons,” Tsuzuki said. Everyone looked at him expectantly.
“First reason is Hisoka is still attached to my chest,” Tsuzuki grinned, and mussed up Hisoka’s hair. Hisoka glared and blushed at the same time.
“Second reason,” Tsuzuki continued, “is that I am a coward.” The other boys sweatdropped.
“Figures,” Watari noted, then added, “I’m not gonna do it either, so don’t any of you look at me.”
“So it goes back to you,” Tatsumi said, throwing the broom at Muraki.
“No, it goes back to you,” Muraki replied, and shoved the broom back into Tatsumi’s hands. Watari, Tsuzuki and Hisoka sweatdropped.
“We’re never going to get rid of it at this rate,” Hisoka mumbled.
“Asato-kun!” Watari said, in full “I have a brilliant idea” pose number 421. “Tell them that whoever gets rid of the rabbit, you’ll give them a cuddle.”
“Do…do I have to?” Tsuzuki asked. He wouldn’t mind cuddling Tatsumi, but Muraki was very scary...
“Of course not!” Watari said, waving his arms around, “Just tell them you will!”
“But that’s lying,” Tsuzuki pointed out.
“So?” Watari blinked.
“Not gonna do it,” Tsuzuki said stubbornly.
Finally, it seemed, Muraki swiped the broom from Tatsumi hands and approached Kumagoro carefully. Kumagoro, to his credit, was just sitting quietly and not groping anyone.
“Good bunny...” Muraki cooed, and prodded Kumagoro with the broom gently. Nothing happened, so he gave the rabbit a little push. Kumagoro fell over. Full of confidence now, Muraki started nudging Kumagoro towards the door.
“Maybe I can lock Muraki-kun out when he takes the rabbit out,” Tatsumi wondered out loud. Tsuzuki gave him a Look.
“That’d be mean, Tatsumi,” he said plainly. Tatsumi was about to say he had no qualms about being mean, but then Tsuzuki was fluttering his eyelashes at him, and he was lost.
“Someone open the door for me,” Muraki said. Watari stepped forward and opened the front door. Muraki took a deep breath, then swiped the broom at Kumagoro in the same way a hockey player hits the puck.
Kumagoro flew out the front door and onto the street where a truck ran over him. He was, however, unscathed.
“Shut the door!” Hisoka screamed, and Watari complied. The five boys sank to the floor panting, marvelling at their brush with the worst evil in the universe.
“Do you think…we’ll ever see it again?” Tsuzuki queried, panting.
“I hope not,” Hisoka sobbed, still attached to Tsuzuki’s chest. Then he seemed to realize where he was, because he let go of Tsuzuki as if the larger boy were red hot (which, he was sure, Muraki would insist he was).
“Idiot! Why were you holding me like that?” He screeched. Tsuzuki winced.
“Hisoka, you glomped onto me! I was just holding you so we didn’t both fall down flat! It’s not my fault!”
“You’re a pervert!” Hisoka screamed.
“I am not!” Tsuzuki snapped, “You touched me first!”
“Oh, so you were taking advantage of my trauma?”
“Guys…” Watari raised his hand as if in class. Everyone turned to look at him.
“You’re all gloating over the fact you just defeated a pink stuffed rabbit toy.”
“Don’t you think that’s a bit lame?” He asked, sweatdropping. The four other boys in the room looked at each other in turn, then at Watari.
“Yeah, well, what do you know?” Muraki said, then yelped as another one of Hisoka’s books hit him in the face.