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Thursday, November 24, 2005

   My father and Thanksgiving

Yesterday (which is still "today" over here) makred the 10th anniversary of my father's death. I'm not taking it too well. Yesterday (today), I cried through most of my work shift. I came home and cried some more. I've been very depressed all day and I know tomorrow (24th) won't be any better. Tomorrow will be my dad's birthday. My mom wants to do a whole "memorial day" in his honor, as well as celebrate Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I'm working from 7am till 4pm. -___- I feel aweful about it. Since this is so, mom plans on taking my sister and I to see Rent. That should be fun. ^^

I miss my father very much and that feeling will never change. Nor do I want it to change. I loved him so much when he was alive. I'm crying now as I type this. I want him here by my side. I want my dad back. I know how fortunate I am to have had such a loving father. Most kids now-a-days, sadly, don't have that luxury. I know many of you here on MyO share that sad fact. My heart goes out to each and every one of you. My koi shares it, too. I won't go into detail, seeing as how the details are shadey, considering she hasn't told me much. But I thought you all should know that you are not alone.

Anyway, I don't want this post to be too long. I'm still emotionally out of it and need rest. I have another long work day ahead of me, as you all know. So, I bid you all a happy turkey day.

Remember, give thanks to the things you have. Hug your family, relatives, friends, pets, etc. Never take life for granted! The most precious thing in your life could be taken from you at any given moment. Treasure everything and everyday like it was your last. Don't waste your life hating things, including your own life. It's okay to think these things sometimes, but don't let it linger. Life is precious. Never forget that. Suicide is never the answer. Try looking at life through another less fortunate person's life and see if your so called "sucky" life measures up to theirs. Chances are good that their life will be a lot worse than yours. So, please, be thankful for what you have. Most people don't have some of the luxuries you pocess.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I love you all!

Be thankful!

And smile! ^_^ I thought this was adorable. I forgot where I found it, but my props go the artist who drew it. ^___^v

Have a wonderful day! *heart*

PS. Isn't it great I FINALLY have music on my site!? ^____^ Do you all like it?

Comments (18) | Permalink

Sunday, November 20, 2005

   Thank Yous and Parties

Hello everyone! Before I begin my rant, I'd like to thank everyone for their kind sentiments in regards to my last post. *hugs everyone then hands them piles of pocky* Everything was settled between my friend and me. We're still friends and I hope to keep it that way. Even though she probably won't read this, I'd still like to express, once more, my apologies for posting about my current problems with you. It was wrong and I apologize. I should've come straight to you. So, again, I'm sorry. *bows*

In other news, my sister's b-day was on the 16th of this month. Yay! ^__^ She's 17 now. She's growing WAY too fast! XD Today (19th), we had her b-day party. 5 of our friends showed up and we had a blast... in a way. ^^; One of our friends did not have much fun. ;_; Basically, she came out of the closet not too long ago and confessed her feelings for Liz (one of our closest friends). Ever since then, there's been awckwardness between the two. Liz now has a boyfriend (one of our other friends) and couldn't be happier. I'm happy for both of them, but Rin (not her real name) sure isn't. All day, she kept glancing over at Liz in a longing sad way. She was miserable. *heavy sigh* Man, the air was so damn heavy today! -_- When we all go to Anime Expo 2006 and AnimeLA, things are going to just as awckward.

On to a brighter subject, my sister's party was pretty fun. Most of us cosplayed as Naruto characters. ^__^ Rin was Sai from Hikaru No Go. Her outfit is so kick ass! It looks official. I know it's not, though. Her aunt is amazing when it comes to making clothes. We scared norms (aka normal people) and listened to Naruto songs. We also listened to the new L'Arc~en~Ciel cd "Awake" that I got for my sis as a b-day gift. It was awesome! ^_^v after awhile, we all went to my house to play DDR and watch Azumanga Daioh. Twas fun. ^__^

That was the extent of my day. Quite interesting, I must say. ^^; I'm SO going to diet big time after today. I had a slice of ice cream cake and three pieces of pizza. -_- Not a smart move by yours truly. *groan*

Here's a hilarious video I found on my new friend, keybladekeeper's, site. Hope you get a good laugh out of it, too. XD

Anyhoo, I hope you all have a great rest of the weekend. Love you guys! *hugs* Ja ne!

RQOD: What does this "X3" symbolize to you? I know what I use it to represent, but I get different answers from many people about how they use it. So, I decided to ask all of your opinions. What do you use it to represent?

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Thursday, November 10, 2005

I Don't...

To tell you the truth, I don't know why I'm posting this. I'm just so damned depressed and upset at how things have been going for me on the net.

It hurts when you think you know somebody, but then true colors appear when one misunderstanding occurs. I thought things were cleared up, but apparently, I am one of those people they couldn't give a damn about.

Send me off and toss me to the side like an old shoe, if you must. I would've hoped to, at least, talked it out. I am not a mother figure and never intend to be.

Sorry for saying these things. It has nothing to do with any of you and I don't want you thinking it is. The only thing I'll ever ask for is complete honesty from my friends. Please no sugar coating. That's what got me into trouble in the first place. One word of honesty and I'm on a person's hate list. Why? Do I come off as someone who enjoys treating people like a child? I don't understand and probably never will. I've learned that when two people are FAR too different in terms of morals and thought processes, there will be friction. And, in my case, a complete loss of a friend I thought I knew.

I haven't cried over the loss of an internet friend since lilmissyprissy died, so this recent one hit me hard. It's okay, though. I'm not expecting sympathy from anyone. I just needed to get this out. I want to reach out to someone, but I've learned not to do that over the internet. It only gets me in trouble.

I honestly don't know who to trust, anymore. I feel lost, alone, and afraid.

Sorry, again, for this rant.

Comments (14) | Permalink

Friday, November 4, 2005

   FINALLY... A Video!!! ^___^

How do you guys like the new layout? I'm gonna stick with AtemuxYuugi for quite awhile, considering how much I love that pairing and my koi.

Naruki didn't get to come out here, bacause of two reasons: (1)Her mom stole her ID (as many of you know from my last post); and (2)Her mom threatened her by saying she wouldn't have a home to come back to if she chose to come out and see me. X_X

I'll have to be honest by saying I'm REALLY not liking her mom's overall attitude. She found out Naruki is les and thinks it's all just a delusion. -_- I swear, narrow-minded people piss me off. She even took away her net privilages so she can't get in touch with me (or so her small mind thinks). We've managed to get around these restrictions and keep in contact. Nothing and no one will keep us apart. Love always finds a way.

So, yea, back to my explaination of the theme and new video. ^^; This whole theme is dedicated to my koi and I's devotion to one another. Light and Dark belong together. They provide balance and support for one another. The video was a stroke of fate. I happened upon it while surfing various YGO sites for avis. Everytime I watch it, it brings tears to my eyes. ;_; I just love my hikari so much and want to hold her so bad, it eats me away. The video and song expresses perfectly my feelings for my koi. The title the creaters gave it (Soulmate) was another sign of fate. I do believe she is my soulmate. =^__^= I hope you guys enjoy it, too. It's gonna be up there for quite awhile. XD

Nothing much else to report, so I'll take my leave.

QOFT: Who's the artist that sang "How Can I Not Love You"? I would REALLY appreciate it if someone told me, cuz I want to either download the song or get that woman's cds. ^__^ Thanks a ton guys! Love ya!

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Monday, October 31, 2005


I'm not going to post a lot, cuz I'm really stressed out at the moment. -_-;;; Basically, Naruki's mom stole her ID and won't give it back. She needs it to travel and I HATE the fact that her mom is doing something this rediculous! =/ I understand she's scared for her daughter flying out to another state to meet her girlfriend of which she met off the net. I'd probably be just as worried, but stealing your daughter's ID is going too far. She keeping her from making her own mistakes, thus living life to the fullest. It really pisses me off!

So, hopefully, something good will come of this ordeal. I want to see her more than anything and it seems like things just keep getting in the way. -_- Life sucks sometimes!

Anyway, that's all I have for today. I hope you all have a fun Halloween. ^___^ Here are some YGO Halloween pics that are awesome. Enjoy and Happy Halloween! Love you guys!

I thought this one was hilarious and cute. ^___^

Awwww, Y.Malik looks like he's about to kill us for making him go trick-or-treating as a french maid! XDDD He looks very pretty, though. ^__^ I got this pic from an ecard done by someone. I forgot who, unfortunately. -_-

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

   Not Too Good...

I'm not feeling too well and I'm hoping it's not a sign that I might be coming down with something. -_- My butterfly is coming to visit me in a week and I don't want any complications. I'm taking my vitamins and Echinacea to try and fight whatever this is, so, hopefully, my efforts pay off. *crosses fingers*

Other than that, not too much has been happening. The weather out here has been great! ^__^ Rainy and cold; perfect weather, in my eyes! XD I hope it stays this way.

Health wise, I'm still in the crapper, putting it mildly. -_- I'm going to have some nerve tests done, which are supposed to be rather uncomfortable, but I'm willing to go through it if it means learning more about my problems. My specialist told me that my options are becoming very limited. Such as: surgery, Cortisone injection, or live with it. Those are my remaining options if I can't find another solution elsewhere. v_v It's very upsetting and I don't want to choose from any of those. *heavy sigh* I'm confused and frustrated, to say the least. I, honestly, don't know what my next step should be.

In more cheerful news, my koi and I have officially finished our last AtemuxYuugi RP and are starting on a whole new one. ^___^ This one is gonna be awesome! I created a YGO rp community on LiveJournal.com called rp_ygo_paradise and it's gonna consist of characters from Atemu's reign in ancient Egypt. The part of the Pharaoh is, of course, yours truly and Yuugi's part is played my koi, of course. =^_^= Basically, Atemu is a bastard who treats his people poorly, thus he constantly hires on new slaves and entertainers to keep himself amused. On a not-so-special day, Yuugi happens to be one of the peasants brought in to be one of Atemu's new slaves. Yes, you heard right. In our story, little Yuugi is a peasant and will become Atemu's slave. *evil glint* I had the idea for this plot line quite awhile ago, but I was never too sure if my koi was willing to do it. Then, in an email she sent me, she raved about how excited she was in taking part in my new rp. She, then, said the magical words I wanted to read, "... we could do a master/slave theme with yuugi as Atemu's slave." ^_____^ I was overjoyed!

So, anyway, the Pharaoh was, somehow, drawn to the little peasant and decided to make him his new slave. If you guys would like to read the beginning of the story, I'll give you the link. You'll have to be a member of LiveJournal.com to read it... I believe. ^^; It is a community, so I would only assume you'd need a membership to view special places within the site. Btw, I'm recruiting people who want to rp as character in the story. If you like YGO, rping, and are a member of LJ, then by all means join up. ^__^ So far, no one has stumbled across my community, so I'm a little antsy. ^^; You don't have to, though. My butterfly and I can do the whole RP and I can let you guys know how the story's progressing. ^__^ That could work, too. Anyhoo, here's the link, in case you're curious: rp_ygo_paradise

I guess I'll take my leave now. I need rest in order to fight this bug. -_- But before I go, I need to post something...

I know it's not a lot of hits, but it means a lot to me. Thank you everybody for stickin' by me and being the great friends that you are. *hugs everyone and hands you all cookies* You deserve the very best in life. I love you guys! Ja ne! *waves happily*

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Saturday, October 15, 2005

   Stupid Browser!!! >_

Up there is a picture of me getting ready to kill my computer. I swear, my comp has died on me 4 times in less than one hour today. It's such a piece of junk! *kicks it*

Anyhoo, how does everyone like my new layout? Isn't the bg awesome!? ^_____^ I found a couple of great websites with Halloween bgs that were to die for... literally. xD It was hard to choose which to use. I know I'm really late for Inuyasha311's theme contest, but I still asked if I could enter. If my damn browser wasn't giving me so much trouble, I could've learned of the contest a lot sooner. Grr~!! I'm hoping it doesn't fail on me as I type this. I want to update at least once in a while, dammit. -_-;;;

There's not much to report on my life. My health is still sucky and the nerve damage/pain my my right shoulder, arm, and shoulder haven't gotten any better. I'd say they've been getting worse. v_v I'm in pain everyday and I hate it. I was on Cortisone pills for awhile, but my body didn't have a positive reaction. The steroids were messing with my stomach, making my IBS pains twice as painful. -_- I called me specialist and he told me to stop taking them. I was relieved, to say the least. I'm supposed to see him again on the 20th, which I'm not looking forward to. He said if the pills don't work, he'd want to inject the Cortisone into me. O_O I hate needles, for one thing, but what I'm really wary of are the steroids and long term effects. I've talked to people who have had Cortisone injections and it wasn't pretty. By masking the pain with medication, people don't realize that they are making the injury worse, because they don't feel any pain. That scares me. I'm gonna tell my doc not to go through with it. There are other alternatives.

My love life with Naruki is doing great, like always. =^___^= I still can't wait till she comes out here November 1st or the evening of October 31st. She still has to decide what's comfortable for her, considering she's never been flying. ^^; Poor butterfly. She said the cutest thing when we were discussing how I'd find her at the airport. She'd make a sign that read "Hikari Looking For A Pharaoh." XDD That is the cutest and sweetest idea! =^_^= Just seeing that would make me giggle. Her browser has been a bitch to her lately, as well. :( It seems as if IE is trying to keep us from each other. *glares at Bill Gates* He won't keep me from my precious butterfly! No way, no how!

The two of us have been having an ongoing RP on Yahoo360, where I'm Atemu and she's Yuugi (not too different than our regular lives XD). Since we base the characters on each other, we don't use the words, "he", "him", and the such. Instead, we use "she", "her", and so on. It's so much fun. ^__^ We like to project our feelings for each other through Atemu and Yuugi, so it's heartwarming and beautiful. *swoons* We hope to turn it into a fic for fanfiction.net once it's done... well, that is, if it EVER gets done. XD Once it is, I have another waiting for the two of us on my Yahoo360 site. Yayness! That one will take place in Egypt with me as the Pharaoh, of course. If any of you have Yahoo360 sites, let me know. ^___^ I love making friends on there. Plus, I have a TON of pics and wallies stored there. I may have something you like. ;) My sn is Pharaoh Atemu, in case you were curious.

Well, that's all for today. It's late and I have a long day ahead of me when I wake up. Plus, next weekend, mom's taking the family to a King Tut's Tomb exibit in LA. *bounces around the room* I LOVE Egyptian artifacts! I'm REALLY looking forward to this! ^___________^ Mayhaps I'll see the sennen puzzle on display. *lol* Just kidding! XD

See you guys later!!

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Sunday, September 25, 2005

   Too much... Too long

Hey, guys... well, more like, whoever even remembers who I am. -_-;;; I don't blame anyone who decides not to show up anymore. Or takes me off their friends list, for that matter. MO has become almost like a distant friend to me. I'm rarely on, therefore, I'll bet you guys feel abandoned. I know I've said this a million times before and you guys always tell me not to worry, but how can I not. You guys are always there for me and, I used to do the same for you, but now... *looks over to see everyone glaring at her with spite in their eyes*

Well... I guess I have no excuses for being absent. A lot has happened and it's stressed me out to no end. My IBS is STILL giving me hell and it's causing me to perhaps dive into my "no eating" stage, once again. *heavy sigh* Also, I have nerve damage, carpel tunel, and a possible pinched nervbe in my right shoulder. >_< Isn't my life grand!? *pulls her hair* My life is a living hell right now! If it wasn't for my wonderful koi, I probably would go nuts!

Speaking of which, thanks to all of you who went to her site and helped out. *hugs you all* It meant a lot to her and I'm eternally grateful to you all. Things are fine now between the two of us. More like, things are doing GREAT!!! ^______^ I love her so much and it seems that feeling gets stronger everyday! *drifts off into shoujo bubble land* She calls me all the time ans I LOVE hearing her voice!!! =^_^= She's SO~~ freakin' adorable!!!!!! Her voice is so small and angelic! Kyaaaaa!!!!! She's so sweet! I love being her pharaoh! With our personalities, I think it fits perfectly. ^_~ She cries and apologizes a lot, where as I get angry and defensive too much. LOL All I know, is that I love her eternally and never want to lose her. *hugs her koi close* OH, BTW, SHE'S COMING OUT HERE IN NOVEMBER!!!!!!!! *jumps around the room* I can't wait! There are SO~ many things I have planned! I'm gonna spoil her rotten! ^______^ My baby deserves it!

*slaps self* Okay, out of Naruki mode and into reality... ^^

Who here has seen the Ra aweful Viz Naruto dub? Yikes, it is soooo freakin' terrible! Naruto's voice is terrible and they killed Kakashi! He sounds like he's about ready to fall asleep all the time. He reminds me of the bad dub voice for Eiri in Gravitation. Which, btw, still holds the record (in my book) for worst dub EVER!!! It's just so terrible! Did you guys hear how they pronounced Shikamaru? It sounds so stupid! And how about that dumb, piece of crap they call a theme song?! It's aweful! It reminds me of the dub song to One Piece. Ra help us all! >_<

Well, just so we all can get a good laugh, I have good news... I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Gaico! Woohoo! Oh yeah! Go me! *looks at crowd who're about to murder her* ^^;;; Hehehe... sorry about that. Couldn't help myself. But, seriously, the good news is I found that SasuxNaru GIF I was talking about. ^_^ Yay! Most of you claim to have seen it already, so it shouldn't be anything new, but I still love it. It's just too funny and very well done. I'll post it now for your enjoyment.

Now, before I go, I want to share with you all something really scarey that I just found a few minutes ago. *takes deep breathe* Okay, anyone with Yahoo accounts probably alreay know about Yahoo360, right? Well, I have an account there and I really like the unlimited JPEG uploading feature. I'm lovin it on that site. Of course that's not the scarey part. ^^; That site is a blog site, so anyone can check it out. I, actually, didn't know this until just now. *shivers* I recieved a message in my Y360 Mailbox from a total stranger that calls himself "the dentist." I thought, at first, that this was just going to be some anime friend I could easily make. Ra, was I wrong!

((Message Received
Saturday September 24, 2005 - 09:46 pm PDT the dentist has sent you a message
the dentist

Offline IM

, Iraq

the dentist is not connected to you in Yahoo! 360.

~hi sweety u r realy beauty

Touch my heart and I`ll touch yours with a gentle word or two, For kindness bears the sweetest fruit that makes our dreams come true. Touch my life with tenderness and fill my cup with love.

hello lover girl .. how do u do? YOU ARE VERY BEAUTY ... I like ur profile so much and i think that any one see ur profile will like it thats coz ur realy so fantastic woman , so i hope to know more about u and talke with, so send me ur msn or ur yahoo id to be able to talke with u online , and this is my email u can add me () or () add me in each one and i will be so happy to talk with u nice to meet u and realy i have the honor when i know u seen my profile see u soon~))

Okay, now, is that not freaky or what!? *nervous* How the HELL can he say I'm a beauty when I don't have a pic of myself on there?! I'm freaked out! He lives in Iraq, too. I'm not biased or anything. It's just the things he says that freak me out. I hid his msn and yahoo email addresses from you guys out of what little courtesy I have for him. -_-;;; What should I do guys? Should I respond? If I don't, he might keep hounding me with similar messages. Now I know what Oreana and TKB are talking about when they complain and are freaked out about scarey stalkers. I hope this doesn't turn out to be one. *bites nails*

I'll see you guys later! Love ya! Ja ne!

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Thursday, September 8, 2005

   Please Help My Koi!

Okay people, I'm gonna have to make this short considering it's really late. I wasn't planning on updating tonight, but once I read my love's most recent post, I neede to take action. *heavy sigh* I'm sorry for asking you guys for another favor, but it would mean SO much to me if at least some of you fulfilled it. Okay here goes:

Apparently, she's having old feelings for one of her crushes/friends. She's also questioning if she's starting to have growing feelings for another of her friends. *tears begin to brim as she lowers her head* In her last post, she was begging people to help her... give her advice on what to do. I said what I could and I hope it's enough. But, I think she also needs other people's opinions. That's why I'm begging and pleading... *gets down on her hands and knees*... could you guys help her? Even if it's very small and you don't say much, that would be just fine. I just want her to be happy. I don't want to lose her. She's my whole world.

*wipes away tears* Um... remember I'm not forcing you guys to go. It's just another request. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you guys very much. If you don't remember her site, it's Naruki.

This is one of the cutest and saddest gifs. v_v This is how I look right now as I worry about my koi. Y_Y

PS. Thank you so much for all of the wonderful things you said in responce to my last post. *hugs you all* You really made my day. I would also like to apologize to AyaKagami for making her worry so much about me. I'm sorry girl! *hugs you* Please eat, hun. I don't want to hear that you've ended up in the hospital. Please get better.

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Sunday, September 4, 2005

   I'm still alive...

Yes, I know it's been ages since I updated and I don't expect many people to return, but I thought I'd divulge anyway. My life is soooooo damn hectic right now. In regards to eating, I'm doing a lot better. ^^ I hope to keep it that way. My love life with Naruki is going well... I hope. -_- I think she's upset with me cuz I didn't email her for a few days. I feel really bad about it, cuz I wanted to send her messages, but I've had so much drama occuring at home and at work that my mind wasn't in the right place. She's on my mind 24/7, that goes without saying, but I'm not always thinking about getting on the comp. Hence, problems occur. *heavy sigh* I love her so much, it amazes me. I don't want to hurt her, but that's all I ever seem to do. Sometimes I feel she deserves someone better than me. -_- I'd hate to lose her. She's made my life so much happier. I owe her my life.

Anyhoo, thanks for all the sweet comments you guys left. True, it's not unusual for great people to leave great comments, but it warms my heart everytime I read them. I'd like to personally thank Roiben for her wonderful comment and PM. Girl, you are too kind! Seriously! I feel as though I haven't done anything to deserve such beautiful words. All of my friends on here have done so much for me. I owe you guys big time. You have helped me through some tough times and, for that, I am eternally grateful. It's truly rare to find people such as yourselves. Thank you all so much!

Unfortunately, I can't make this long. Drama is occuring within the household and I must take part, whether I want to or not. *heavy sigh* I'll try to update soon. Again, I'm sorry for bailing on you guys.

I love you all! *hugs everyone*

I'll let Chii and Hideki do all of the thanking for me. XD And they'll keep thanking you guys because that's how much I want to personally thank you. My gratitude is endless. ^_^

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