Birthday • 1989-03-03 Gender •
Male Location • New Jersey Represent! Member Since • 2004-03-07 Occupation • Student Real Name • Steve Doninger
Personal
Achievements • Beating the Weapons in Final Fantasy VII. Anime Fan Since • The Early Days. Favorite Anime • Neon Genesis Evangelion Goals • To be a respected artist. Hobbies • Anime, Drawing, Bass, Guitar, Drums Talents • Drawing, Bass, Guitar, Drums
myOtaku.com: XxLinkinParkxX
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
In Keeping Secrets
Well, its been a wile. Growing up is fascinating thing. You tend to start to fully understand the generic stereotypes that are placed on you when you are young. Example teenage angst and just flat out rebellion. Which when your a teenager you think its complete bullshit. Being a teen brings something out in you that you don't even notice, you tend to hate...okay hate is a strong word. You tent to get very upset over stupid things, and blame the most obvious person that you could link the problem too. I guess that one rule goes with society in general. Still I had a lot of anger towards people, because I guess they didn't see things the way I see them. Or just rebel for the general purpose of fighting the system, I guess I wanted to feel accomplished by doing whatever I did wile I was active here. I said a lot of things about a lot of people, some things that I truly did mean and some that I didn't.
To be totally honest I cant really remember what I said about who but I do feel sorry. I know it is the Internet and "Flamming" and "Bashing" people is what you do here, but to be totally honest I kind of feel embarrassed.
Getting upset because Adam the owner of the site wanted to do something that I didn't think was going to help, kind of pathetic. Why should I care what he wants to do with his site, or his way of making money? I'm just a user of his site whatever he does to it that doesn't affect my direct means has nothing to do with me, why should I get involved? The fact that I took the time to call him out sickens me, how childish of me.
I will say that he is a very smart man for doing everything he has done to the site, its successful. Though maybe I don't agree with everything he has done with the site, its irrelevant it doesn't matter. I will also say that I do respect him for making this site and for it being as successful as it has, and its even getting bigger. So I will say I'm sorry.
Wile on the subject of growing up, you never understand how scary it is until you reach the point in life where you need to decide where your going to go next in life. This is the point where its do or die, the decision you (I) make now will determine how the rest of my life will turn out. Its a lot of pressure, at least for me. To be totally frank I'm scared. No one wants to fail, failure is something that everyone is scared of because its implanted in our heads when we are young that if we fail that's it, game over. Which I suppose is true in some cases but not all. I'm more scared of the responsibility, I have relied on someone my entire life ( My Parents ) and to have that come to an end soon is kind of horrifying. Either way, I'm sure whatever happens will turn out to be good when its all said and done.
With that said and done I guess I'll go onto some other topics. I actually think I will post more here, blogs are pretty useful. When I'm older I can come back and see what I wrote about when I was 17. That's pretty cool. I can see what I was up to what I was doing and what my state of mind was. I did that today which is why I am posting, as I said I'm a little embarrassed of what I said before.
My life has been well eventful. When they say life throws tons of curve balls, they don't lie. If when I was 13 and you told me my life now I would have kicked you in the ball ( Or ovaries for you females respectively) and probably gone home and cried. Life changes and you don't even notice it, you could be some unpopular fat kid, then the next day everyone knows you and you have tons of friends. Which if you hadn't realized I'm talking about me. Hell I would never have believed that I would have more female friends then I male friends, but I do. Girls talk to me which was weird at first but I got used to it.
With my newly found love of life came a lot of balancing my friends, school, a personal life , a girlfriend!, and art. Which I'm just getting sued to now. I'm a Sr. now so school is pretty easy. The only thing I have a hard time doing is balancing art and personal time. Art is going to be my gateway to life, but for some reason I cant find time for it, I'm taking it for granted and I'm letting it slip away. The terrible thing is that I'm noticing it and doing nothing about it. I need to start paying more attention to it.
Wile we are on the art subject I have been doing some things though not as many as I should have. I have been experimenting with different medians such as Ink and prisma color markers which are tons of fun. I have some things I could post and I will later on today, I don't have time for it right now. But I will by tonight.
