Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: xSakurax


Thursday, August 11, 2005


Its all aboute power then taking control ~Ana Johnsson, We are
Recently, I havent felt like anyone wants to be around me or talk to me...

Anyone. Everyones too busy with something. A game, with school or works, with their gal/guyfriends.... Doesent anyone need me anymore? Always. 4 days and Im goin back to the hell. Yeah, I mean school. Someones are happy to get back to see their friends. Im happy to see my pals too. But you peoples cant understand what it is to me. My class. The whole school. Even my best friend doesent. Those peoples hate me and I hate them. Their always bitchy to me. Complaining aboute my hair, clothes, my colours, telling me that Im a satanist. I know. I should ingnore them. But Im sick and tired of it.
At my old school, the last half a year was cool. Peoples had got used to me already. Then came highschool and the hell started again. Same hell I had for 5 and a half year in my school. I dont want to be threw it anymore.



What is my purpose really? Its feels like its all in computer. All my friends are here. I dont want to be around my best friend no more. I know she has a crush on me. She just wants to sit next to me. She is always staring at me. She started calling me 'love' like it was a joke. It wasnt. She wouldnt keep doing it if it was. I know her. I know she also likes guys. But she said gals are more like for her. Can you all feel what I feel? My world is crushing down. When shes gone, I dont think theres gonna be any friends for me anymore. My older sister will be the only one. And you guys here. Yeah hey Grinner think aboute it, you gotta be with birdie as she studys french with you, Heidi likes you more than me, Marianne follows Heidi, all I got would be Sara and Sara likes to be more with Taija than me. Huh then what am I gonna do? Be with Jari? No way first of all one of hes 'gang' members is my ex who hates me and Jari is too tuff to show that he even knows me. Ville? No. That idiot doesent deserve it. Inga hates me. So yeah. I hope Heli is gonna stay in 10th class. I could be with her. Or then some new kid in our school. Start praying that theres gonna be some lonely asian guy who I can be with, duh.
Alot of this post were caused by my depress. I dont even know if those vicions were real or just a dream. But they felt so real. But I will find it out someday. Yeah.
Oh great mom just ruined my day. Some maniac killed a dog. He tied the rope on hes car and he drove around the city. The dog had died. Poor dog. Poor, inicent dog. What did the poor dog to deserve that? I would deserve that, not the poor poor dog... Just poor dog.... When I get away from here I will get my own puppy. We have a dog but its so old that it will die soon. When Im free I will get a dog. A nice, little dog. And I will love it. I will name it Sirius. Yeah....

Your mouth, so hot
Your web, I’m caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace on sweat
I hear you calling and it’s needles
And pins
I want to hurt you
just to hear you Screaming my name
Don’t want to touch you but
You’re under my skin
I want to kiss you but your lips
Are venomous poison
You’re poison running through my veins
You’re poison, I don’t wanna
Break these chains
Poison

That suits my feelings with Eric. Im afraid to get hurt. Hes like poison but Im still curious to feel how that poison hurts. And I wanna hurt someone. But not cuz I want to hear them screaming my name. I want to hea them screaming from fear and pain. Tell me Im maniac but few peoples I hate that much.

Peoples. Im gonna put the drawings up. Today, tomorrow, dunno yet really but when I do: Theres few things that I have in each drawing. A symbol. Tell me if you can find it from each of them. The first one will get a drawing from me. Then again, theres drawings that dont have the marking. But they have some other symbol in them. This should be easy. I will excplaine the symbols to you after. Im sure you will all find them.

Yeah so I found the drawings but my best friend is making up excuses why she hasnt sent them already. Yeah theyre just excuses cuz I know that she just doesent wanna do anything cuz shes lazy....

Now. Good day. Im gonna go and drink hot chocolate. That will cheer me up. For sure.


Love ya Eric. I gess. Dunno. Dunno if I should.


And Neji, theres no little Naruto thingy in your name cuz I didnt find neji *sobs* I promise I will find you one. I tried yesterday but I didnt find one. But I will. *Nod nod*






Comments (7)

« Home