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Wednesday, July 6, 2005


I was a dummy and didnt sleep at all last night.... Its not my fault I just couldnt get any sleep.... So I was up the whole goddamn night. Well. I met two guys: First one is Dave. Hes latino and hes 18. Hes nice, tho hes perv and I cant take any more pervs, but anyways hes okay. The second one is Doug. Hes 16 and hes black =^^= MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I have found my dream man!!! Now where is the asian....

BTW. We were at the city, once again. My mom had to stop by again so..... Well. The whole day was nice. We went at shops, I bought two mangas: Negima vol4 and Dragonball vol23. And I saw Joni, yeah, the cutie I know. I walked towards him ('cuz our friend were in that way too) and he turned around and ran away. DAMN IDIOT!!! *Grunts* Hummmmph.

Oh yea, we saw these two reeeally cute asian guys ^.^ They were too cute to be straight but they watched the three of us (Me, Katja, my best friend) walk by, and they went pretty quiet. Really they saw us two times and both times they went quiet. And they were goddamn staring at us why the hell didnt I get a new boyfriend of them!? *sigh* Im a loser....

O well. news from Loki and hes bro: Theyre both alive, theres not much changes with Loki, and even least with hes brother. Hes brother is hardly breathing but still he told me one thing: He made me promise I will take care of hes katana.

He beated me up. Still I feel sorry for him. I wish he could've stayed alive for a lil longer. Well. Hes alive but only hardly.
I promised him I will take care of the sword. I have always dreamed to get it to myself. Now when I got it, I will not let anything happen to it. Never. It will be my new precious.

Even tho he beated me up and called me a bitch.... Hes nice. And I promised to him to stay by hes side if hes aboute to die. I will hold hes hand till hes dead. I promised that to him cuz he havent caused me the bullshit Loki has. I promised it to him 'cuz Loki has better changes to live.

I got to go now. I gotta eat something. I havent eat in whole days....

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Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Dont got much time
As it says.

Jusr aboute Loki this time: Hes older brother meat me up yesterday. Loki told me hes leaving totally from here so it would mean I would be pretty much alone.
Today, I heard that Lokis older brother has made a suicide with he Katana, and that Loki is in the hospital 'cause he tried the same. All I heard from hes mouth is 'I love you Jo'.
And all I got now is Lokis bros Katana and bloody clothes. *sigh* I so hope Loki will be okay.
Actually Im not sure aboute Lokis bro. They wouldnt tell if hes alove or not but.... Just I got the Katana. it remembers a bit of Kuroganes sword. Tho his nickname was Kurogane. *sigh*

Well. I got nothing more to say, but I got to go. Eric-kun, love you!

(Wow, finally I said it....)

Comments (6) | Permalink

Monday, July 4, 2005

   Hiya all

I and my best friend went to the city, once again, Adn we had fun, once again. Tho she looked like a whore in her costume.... Well, she always wanted to be one.... ^^; Okay well I bought new shirt (Theres really nothing to tell aboute it: its black, and has long sleeves, as always) and this wrist-thingy with spikes on it. Tho it was excpensive, its really cool. I also bought Negima, vol 2 and 3. (I wanted to buy vol 4 too but didnt have enough money.... -_-;;) Well anyways, everything was cool, we even visited few funfairs and I took pictures of our 'beautiful' city. *cough*
Oh yeah! I also took pictures from a squirrle! ^^ It let me come so close that it was only few feets from me. This was our convertation when we firs saw it (My best friend is T, Im J)
J:Hey, look, squirrle!
T:Aww, its cute!
J:Lets eat it!!
T:YEEEAH!! Lets eat it!! *laughs*
J:(I took my cellphone to take a pivture of it) How can we eat a poor thing (T was laughing manically behind me)
Squirrle went under a table
J:Sssht, dont scare it (I took few pictures of it)
T:I wanna smooth it!
Squirrle runs away
J:It escapes! Hey! Meal! Come back! (All other peoples around us heard us too....)(Itook a video from the squirrle as I run afgter it)
The squirrle rans back to a forest
J:Buh'bye squirrle! Remember, we're free all night long ^^!
T:Yeeeh! B'bye hun!
J:You know, You actually do look like a prostitute...
T:I KNOW!! =^_^= Thats what I ALWAYS wanted since a lil' kid! *laughs*

-_-;.... Well, we really planned eating it....

The whole day was just awesome, we walked down to a river and walked like 1,5 miles on the road that goes next to it, and it was great. My best friend eated few ice creams and I was text messaging with vfew goths plus Arttu all day.... Heh.... I found out who the two guys that have been calling to me were: They're few guys from other city, I havent ever even heard aboute 'em but who cares. They're name are Otto and Teemu. They're pretty coll actually. Lil cold and boring, but still pretty cool.

There was only one sad thing, other ways the day was perfect.... I saw Juho. Its not really sad to see Juho, just.... He was sitting in the car, and you should've seen hes face. I havent ever seen so desperate eyes, never seen a face as sad as hes were..... And I felt so sorry.... He looked straight at me. I just could feel the depress that he felt. Adn hes eyes were all red... There was just two things in my mind: "Poor boy" and "What have I done".

*Sigh* And now Loki and I are fighting again. Well. Hope it gets better.

Have a nice day all of you

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Sunday, July 3, 2005

*sigh* ....
My older bro is at our place. My mom and my bro fought yesterday and I had to listen to it. It wasnt fun at all. So....
Now two weird guys have textemssaged and called me, plus a bi-girl who wants to have phonesex -_-;; And I dont have any clue where the numbers have came to my phone. Maybe some of my friends have started messing with me again, I dunno. It would be just like Heidi. *sigh* Why me....?

Oh well. I watched few vampiremovies yesterday (and it was 5 at the morning when I finally got to sleep -_-;;) first of them was Underworld.

Her name is Selene

The story is aboute vampires and werewolfs who have been fighting over thousand years. Its really cool movie really, in the end, either of them wins 'cause some crazy werewolf leader creates a werewolfs and vampires hybrid. Half vampire half werewolf. Eh. He was ugly.
Just few comments aboute it: The vampires have beautiful eyes. Their blue. Deep blue. Blue..... *drools* *cough* I stop....
Wacth her eyes!!

The other movie was Son of the Darkness. But it sucked bad. Then I watched Dracula, once again. I wanna be a vampire too.....

Oh well. I gess its all for today. Well, have a nicve day all of you.

OH, HEY! ALL OF YOU!!! if you havent STILL checked my fanart, do it NOW, and vote. Please I will be reeeally happy ^^ Thanks

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Saturday, July 2, 2005

^^ New target
Tee hee! I already got over Juho. Tho I really dont like thinking aboute him 'cause it makes me feel guilt, but I got over it. And hes alive. He text messaged me today (he forgot hes jacket on our place and told me to burn it, I told him that I can give it back to him)
Now: I have few new targets. I wont tell all the names, but one is Arttu, my friend Ellis old classmate. Hes cute. He has blond hairs on shoulders and eyeglasses. And hes 15. Well, 14 but soon 15. Heh. And hes DAMN tall.

Well anyways..... Hes fun and smart too. It feels like hes never sad really.... Always smiling. And hes way nicer than Juho.

Well anyways, Im gonna stay single a long while (Well, I always can have something with a guy but just saying that Im not goin to be so seariously with anyone)

Well you guys have a nice day. Adios!!

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Friday, July 1, 2005


Im free yay yay yay!! ^^ Kay heres the whole story.

We were textmessagin again, and I told him aboute Christian (I dowanna get onto that) and all. Then, he started being depressed - AGAIN!! I told him how selfish he is, and he got mad. He said that we can break up then if I want so. Well I said we should just take little slower. He didnt answer. Well I got pissed and were like 'Oh what the hell this is my life' and this is how it went on:
"Was this it? Fine, but I dont want you to hate me. Take care of yourself"
"Same to you (sob)"
"Oh, Juho, ddont be like that. We can at least stay in somekinda relationship? I dont hate you"
"Fuck it I have suffered enough in this life! And right to the next life"
"Dont Juho. Im not worth it."

That was it. He havent called or text messaged me since. I thin khe really did it. He was about to do it even before we stopped dating. So.... Well... I got hes shirt. The funny thing is I didnt cry. Maybe 'cuz I watched Christian dying in front of me. Well. I cried only a little while I squeezed Juhos shirt. But one thing is for sure now: Hes in better place. And Im happy for that.
Right after I cried, I smiled. And I said "What the fuck. Its hes friggin life, he can do whatever he wants with it" And it is so. Maybe everyone will plaime me from hes murder, but I got nothing to do with it. Sorry. I just didnt want him.

Now, Living doll asked one thing I like myself.... Well, I started thinking from the ligther side and found few: 1.I like my hair. Not straight but not curly, and its black ^^ Kawaii. Second thing, I like my hands. Theyre small and I can do amusing things with 'em. Drawings!! ^^

You were destined to have a Red Lightsaber.

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is
associated with energy, war, danger, strength,
power, and determination as well as passion and
desire. You have seen the Strength and Power of
the Dark Side of the Force and have you thirst
for more of it.

What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Red!? What do you mean red? *sigh* I would like to have green, since Yoda has gree sword. Oh well.

You are Yoda! You are one of the Smartest people
ever, probably because you are soooooo old!
And you can still kick the shit out of anything
that comes your way! Beware to everyone, don't
let the cane fool you!!!!!

Which Star Wars Character (Episodes 1-6) Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

how jedi are you?
:: by lawrie malen

So. thats all for today. 'ey Cheza382, PM me those answers of my quiz. And atreyu7slip, the video refused to show up. Well I'll watch it on my friends comp.
So. Have a nice day guys!!

Adios! And Viva la difference!

You are Auron. Wo0t.

Which Final Fantasy X Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You scored as None!. You've either done a good job of avoiding drugs, aren't interested in trying them, or have had an experience that chased you away. Stay safe. :)















What's your ideal drug?
created with QuizFarm.com

Lol. I thought alcohol was a trouble to me. Tho I have been drunk only few times...

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Thursday, June 30, 2005

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Yea yea its old but I still love Linkin Park.

*krhm* SO. other news. I have solved this whole thing out with Loki. We're friends now, and I hope it will stay so. Im always happy to have friends. Hes really nice, maybe I should tell 'im to join MyO.... No way. He will broke many girls heart here if I do.

So. Last night I had a atalk with a friend. We tried to make out a way I could get rid of Juho. Well. Im gonna keep going as I have so long. Being mean, actin like a bitch, wont answer to hes textmessages or calls, etc. And fight almost aboute everything. He will get bored on me.

To other news, again.
I have really thought aboute places I should go, when I sometimes get enough money to travel in America (I WOULD have but my mom still owes me those 800€ x_x Why me!?) So, heres the top 5.

1.Fresno/Mobile (cant decide...)
4Mexico City (^^;)
5.Hawthorne (I got little business out there *murmurs*)

So thats the top 5.

Now.... My moms never happy on what I am. 1. She complaines aboute my drawings. She tells me I should draw something different. What, like little birdies!? Sorry but Im not good with animals besides this is what I like to draw, jackass. 2. SHe tries to change my style. She doesent like that Im goth, when she bought me a red shirt she made me to wear it. FUCK HER!! she told me 'Now you look a little bit human' *grr*

Well. I gotta go. Heres three new pics of me for ya. Have a nice day!

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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

*hits her head on a wall*
Why everything feels like crushing down? Why?

First of all, even aboute my friends who are guys (Theres only one person in Otaku, the rest are in here) I have noticed one thing: They dont know what word 'Love' means. But they know what 'Fuck' means. I mean c'mon whats wrong with peoples why are looks so important!? Im gonna KILL next who complains aboute someones looks. *glares at everyone* And I MEAN it.

I have talked aboute it like hundred times but I STILL cant get it!! Fuck to you all who dont care a shit aboute the people itself!! I mean when I really hate someone (Like girl named Taija, she threw coca-cola in my white shirt once at school) I always call them names and tell everyone how ugly they are no matter if they really look good but ARRGH!!! Gimme something that calms me down! Alcohol, drugs, a knife.... anything!!

*Breaths deep* damn.

The one passion that deeply burns in your soul is
longing for love... You're often depressed and
you've been hurt so many times that you tears
seem meaningless, if you even have any left to
cry! You want to be able to reach out and tell
someone everything, making your troubles go
away... But... You jsut can't bring yourself to
do so... Everyday you wish that all of the pain
will just go away... Just disappear... However,
it just seems to get worse and you try to
bottle everything up inside as best as you can!
However, your plan sometimes fails, making you
lash out or break down emotionally. You just
wish to be like everyone else... You want to be
able to tell someone all of your problems...
But you're afraid of admitting your weakness...
You're that outside, loner, mistunderstood
person that has been pushed out of everyones'
life. You desperately try to break through the
barrier, but you guts tell you no... You'll
just be hurt again and again... So why bother?
Your sanctuary is your room, where you can hide
out and be out of 'their' visions. You like to
express your thoughts and feelings through
various forms of art, and try ridding of your
pain in 'different ways.' You're so busy caught
up in your own little, lost world, that you
have yet to realize that a light burns inside
of the darkness of the pack. You might not know
it, but out there... Someone is watching your
every move... Enjoying your presence...
Enjoying you for who YOU are! Wipe away those
tears and open up those beautiful eyes, see the
light! See what you're missing and grasp ahold,
break out of that crust, and mold... Smile your
way through life because the most beautiful
things cannot be concealed forever :)

What Passion Burns In Your Soul?
brought to you by Quizilla

NO KIDDING! *Laughs* Thats so like me. Yeah Im in veeery pissed mood I mean everythings fucking up I have been working TEN HOURS today first painting then with the friggin dishes the water was so hot that my hands are all burnt and Im so friggin tired and I want to sleep and NO-ONE CARES!! *breaths deep* Need.... to.... calm.... down.... *sigh* Its true I am lonely. I dont even know if I have real friends. My best friend is always chattin in her msn my second best friend never answers on calls or notes or anything and my other friends.... I dont have them.

Well. News flash: My friend is goin to Florida next winter. Its not far away from Mobile or Houston, so now I got a change to go meet few of my friends. *sigh*

Im SO friggin lonely....

Well. Im not on tomorrow.

See ya.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

*sigh* ....
I almost made it!!

Yesterday, Juho was depressed again. I was so fucking tired to even try to make him feel better, cause he NEVER does that to me. I told it to him, and told him that is it worth it to be together anymore. Well. I told him that he never listens, doesent care, and always just leaves me alone without even trying to support me when Im depressed.
I almost made it!!!
He started playing a hero and told me he will change and blah blah blah. NO!!! Thats not how it was supposed to go!!! *cries* Why me?!

Well. Next fight will be aboute alcohol, hes smoking, and hes lies. Oh yesh, and that he acts gay. *nod*

Well. Thank you very much for answering on my quiz. I will answer on some questions in my site, some are personal.

Supertoilet: Hell sure ^^ Nice to see ya aruound again! Welcome back!
atreyu7slip: OK. Sure, sent it to me. I dunno if it works but.... I'll try to make it work -_-;;
cheza382: Okay. PM the answers to me, okay?
Khillah Goku: Uh.... Its grey? At least out here. Clouds cover the sky.
Telk27: Ofcourse I dont hate you, silly, why would I? Your so nice and sweet. Yeah I do like you, your sucha great friend, and no, Im not inlove with your bro. I dont even know him so how could I be.

Thats all for today, buds. I'll be on later today and answer all the PMs (I got 23 when I got in today O_o Wah, scary!) so, see ya later friends. Hugs for all.

Pic form ya:


O, yeah, and if you didnt answer or see yesterdays quiz yet, please check and answer it now, okay? ^^ Thanks. You may also PM answers to me.

Comments (4) | Permalink

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Quiz for U!
Okay so. I have been thinking alot 'bout racism. Today I saw a program where was a woman fighting for womens rights and against racism. So, I decided to put up a little project. You could help me by answering this quiz. You dont have to answer all the questions, Im not making you, but I would be happy if you answered even just one.... please?

1.What do you think aboute racism?

2.What do you think aboute goths/peoples who just have different style?

3.What do you think aboute homo-/bi-sexuals?

4.Are YOU racist?

5.Do you know someone whos racist?

6.Are you goth/etc.?

7.Do you know someone whos goth/etc.?

8.Are you homo-/bi-sexual?

9.Do you know someone who is?

10. Ask something from me if you like. I will try to answer honestly.

Thank you soooo much guys this will help me soo much. Theres many racists in our school and I am going to try to make them understand. Im so pissed dammit whats wrong with those idiots!?

When I just have enough money I will put up somekinda company against racism. *grunt* Humph. Down, racism. Im ready to do anything to make this world a bit better.

Well. I got nothing else to say. I wont be on tomorrow.... I WILL be on at tuesday, but I cant promise I will be on at wednesday etc. I got a quiz and few pics for you before I let you go. Oh yeah, and eat alot of ice-cream! ^^

My dragon name is Jargon the Black Eyed (Black Dragon).
Take Dragon Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Found that from Narutomans site...

Im a black dragon? Well then, heres a pic of a black dragon ^_^

Well, you know some peoples say I am scary as a dragon O__o Whats that supposed to mean!? Well... Im black.... And I can scare kids with my evil look.... Ah well pass it.

Heres for you Narutoman ^^

It was so cute that I couldnt do anything but think aboute you =^^= C'mon it IS cute!!

I found these cute Huskies pictures =^^= So I got to put few up

=^^= Im crazy 'bout puppys. Nothings cuter than those soft and fluffy, whining creatures (No, waite.... Narutoman is cute ^^)

Well. Take care.

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