Friday, August 5, 2005

Apolagy
Sorry For Not keeping up this sight but i Have joined the marines and i have gotten maried to the woman in the poems. so i have had no need to releave any frustration. sorry...
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Friday, January 28, 2005

Chip on My Shoulders
Chip on My Shoulders

I long for the day
When I can look back and say
That my life worked out for the best
Only then will this weight Forever be lifted off my chest

There are times when I can feel the weight more
Like whenever I stand at her door
Then I see her smile and it leaves me
But I can never be free

Sometimes she’s there to lift the weight
she was given to me as a cruel joke of fate
I care for her more then my heart should allow
Its added weight is hurting me now

When she’s away I can’t see
How beautiful this world might be
Sitting here tonight all alone
I resist the temptation to pick up the phone

She calls me one of her loyal friends
She drew the line, that’s were it ends
That’s how she wants our lives to be
As long as I’m by her side, it will do for me

I will accept our relationship anyway I can
I will be her friend, Even if I can’t be her man
My time is coming to an end, but before I leave
I will go to her with my heart on my sleeve

I am able to handle the weight on my back
As I will be able to handle this next stack
The time is near, and yet I stall
No mater what, I will not let her see me fall

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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Need
Need

Sitting here alone in the dark
I wish the angels will hark
The need for a family to call my own,
is the only thing that will keep me from being alone

I need something to fight for
something that will keep me from walking out the door
friends can be replaced, they come and go as life flies by
My friends are leaving me, I hold on because I have to try

the time will come when they are all gone
I need a family of my own, with them I can continue on
children to nurture and a caring wife
that is the stability I long for in my life

I found a woman who has the same dream
but the man she has chosen makes my anger steam
he takes her for granted and is never around
He doesn’t know how lucky he is, what a love he has found

If only she were with me, how are lives would grow
We share the same dreams, if only someone would let her know
trust is important if you want a commitment of love
handle it with care, like you handle a baby dove

if I am to have a chance she must know my heart
only then will the chance come for our lives to start
my life has no meaning if no one is there
I need to know someone will always care
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Monday, January 10, 2005

My Greatest Fear
My Fear

My thoughts scare me to the bone
No choice left, I have to fight this war alone
That crowded room wouldn’t do
The first chance I got, I withdrew

As I walk the night, I draw cold steel
I wonder how my own stab would feel
Sliding between two ribs deep into my chest
Could this be enough to get rid of my unwelcomed guest

He told me, my life should be so much more
Then living this way, every day a chore
The time draws near when I must choose my way
Demons are loose in my head, should I let them stay

They’re guiding me steadily to my doom
But I sheath my knife and head back to her room
I take a glimpse at her and know she will never be the star of my life
The thought makes me sorry I have yet to use my knife

I sit their wishing I could be gone
God why haven’t you sacrificed this lonely pawn
Falling forever, please let me stop
I’ve fallen so far, I can’t remember being on top

There is a girl I’ve known close to thirteen years
Only five times have I let her glimpse my fears
Seven days a week, She is the one who will let me talk
In fourteen weeks she has yet to say, “Take a walk.”

With her help I have a chance to succeed
The cuts still come, but at least my heart won’t bleed
For her sake I’ll give this life another try
I’ll try to live life to its fullest until I die

My only chance is to leave this town
If I stay here my soul will drown
Can a friendship exist when you need more
Every night I fall to sleep dreading what Fate has in store

Can Death sooth my pain if I just gave in
I think I might die alone without my kin
How I long for a family to call my own
Without the love of a good woman I’ll never have a home

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Friday, January 7, 2005

Chance Life
Chance Life

I have a dream of mutual trust
I want more from life then animal lust
I want a lover but I NEED a friend
Will I find her around the next bend
Will I ever get a chance

There is a girl I see each day
She alone is the reason I stay
I showed her once that I could fall
It scared her back behind the wall
Will I ever get a chance

Now she is back in the past
I hope to God it won’t last
I don’t care if we can never be
Just so long as she lives free
Will I ever get a chance

I will never have a choice in life
That doesn’t involve the hard edge of my knife
With the love she freely shares
I know it’s enough that she cares
Will I ever get my chance

Nothing in life goes as planned
I think I will find a bit of land
I’ll make a home without a phone
Maybe it will help to be alone
Will I ever get a chance

I know not yet, what tomorrow may bring
I might get lucky, there may be no sting
In the years to come I might find my way
If I do, I hope I can stay
Will I ever get the chance


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