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Tuesday, August 14, 2007


what a weekend
Sorry I've been gone, guys.

Today was Izzy's birthday. He turned 20.

I went up to Dallas to see him for his birthday this weekend. I was fine on Friday, but as Saturday progressed my back started hurting both worse and in a different spot than usual. After his friends left around 1:00 I talked to Austin for a few minutes and then hid in the bathroom for an hour crying. After that, I tried to lie down on the couch so I could go to sleep. That lasted for all of 5 minutes and then spent three hours crying into Izzy's chest because my back hurt so badly.

After I finally quit crying we talked a bit, and I realized that I might have an ectopic pregnancy. For those of you who haven't taken an anatomy class, or have learned about this, it means that the fetus is growing inside the fallopian tube rather than in the uterus.
It would explain a lot of things, in fact all of them- signs of pregnancy but a negative test, irregular periods, and last night after I looked it up: severe lower back pain.
It was a really emotional night. And I felt so badly about it, because it was supposed to be a happy one. And I just cried and cried and cried. First it was the pain and then it was "I can't have it, if it is what I think it is." He just held me and kept telling me that things would be okay and that he loves me and that he wants to spend his life with me.

Sunday I gave him his card and told him he couldn't open it until I left. When I got home, I had an email that said he loved me and that what i had written in the card had moved him to tears.

Now we just have to convince his parents to let him move in with me and Austin.

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