Wednesday, November 7, 2007

   Doing a little better.
Been edgy as fuck though. Can't get my head straight. And men are just pigs. One guy kept txtin me wanting me to have sex with him. I of course said no while simitainously giving him a piece of my mind.
Another one wanted to go out with me but made up some bogus story later on saying that he was in a horrible car wreck with 4 other people (car "rolled" 5 times)and he happened to be single before the wreck but automatically was engaged afterwards to a girl named Riley and is getting married this month on the 20th. I wasnt going to go out with him but that is some amazing bull shit. Either it happend and WOW.... he is totally unstable. or he had a girlfriend and she found out.... or he just back out for one reason or another. But still.... what the fuck? How can someone be like that?
I am talking to a wonderful guy. His name is James. And we met on dA. He's 18 (same age as me) and kinda of a goober. But today i was having a really bad day. Extremely bad. and out of the blue without me expecting it he called me ^w^.
I have a good feeling about this guy. We're sorta boyfriend and girlfriend but i don't know. I've never been in a long distance relationship. He lives 400 some miles away from me. But he seems okay. I hope things go well between us.
Had a dream about my cousin a couple nights ago. He's over in Iraq so i worry about him. He seemed good in my dream... but also a little sad. He never talks to me irl and he never talks about his sister. but in my dream he was talking to me about his sister Tish and how one day she called him up out of the blue. I don't know if that dream was a good sign or not.
Satalite got turned off. Been watching nothing but DVDs and our selection is meager. We're running out of things to watch :p
I should be out looking for a job but there is few places where i can apply at. And no one is hiring. I call in and check around a few places but they won't even glance at my application.
It's getting cold. Saw it snow a little this morning. That was a sight to see.
I'm trying to be in a better mood but it's difficult. I am very moody and stressed. (things aren't going well at home) and (my love life sucks) i just need to sleep for a few days... or something. i feel so tired all the time.... like i'm being streatched too thin.]
And i am well aware this is a long ass post. :p

Peace and love ♥

have a nice day. hope everything goes swimmingly for you all ^^
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Friday, November 2, 2007

   Wow three months....
Wow. Gone three months and only one comment. Gee don't I feel loved. Sorry I've been so busy. Trying to get my shit together and everything. (not sure why i cam back here to tell you the truth)
Realized i haven't stopped by in a while and guessed i give this place another whirl. (guess i was wrong) well i'll poke around. visit everyones sites and drop a few comments.
I might be back again might not. Keep it cool people.

Peace and Love ♥
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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

   Been busy.
I added a little something to my site.
I've been really busy and I'm sorry for visiting.
I'll come back around sometime.

Peace and Love

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Sunday, September 16, 2007

   WAZZZZZZUPPP!!!
Things are going good.
Went to Renaissance Fair yesterday with my friend Sarah and Erika... Sarah ♥'s Deathnote ^^
Spent the night... and am currently still at her house ^^;
Life is good.
Especially when you have good friends >w<
My sister Amy just turned 15 yesterday. Huzzah for her!
All i got to say for now

Peace out
~lizzie

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Friday, September 14, 2007

mmm sorry
I'll comment everyone later. Right now I'm a little busy. ^^
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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I'll make this quick...
Okay I'll make this quick but I have to go really soon... I'm at my friends house and I'm the only one here so my ass has to book it out of here.

Everything is going good but I'm still in a funk.
Here is something I wrote on another site... It's stupid I know. It's called the kissing theory. Any comments are appreciated.

Okay this is sort of touch and go.
This might sound weird but right now at the moment I can't think of anything else.
Last night while I was lying awake in bed trying to fall asleep (this happens every night) i started to think about Jeremy and how in love I was with him (even though he didn't have the same strong feelings for me) even though I wasn't happy with him I like him. I liked being with him. (he's just not cut out for a steady relationship) I couldn't help but think how he use to kiss me... Then I got this crazy idea.

Why not just kiss another boy and get over this?

Jeremy. Is the first boy I have ever kissed. Or even had deep feelings for. (It's a curse that's passed down in my family... when we fall in love we do it whole heartedly... No exceptions.) I figure if I kiss another boy (a real kiss no little peck on the lips) Then I will realize that It was just a one time thing between me and Jeremy and that I was just mezmorized by the sensation... a very dizzy and thrilling sensation.
If this backfires... I'm screwed.
That and I doubt I will find a guy who is comfortable kissing a stranger.
I'll just have to wait and see. ^^
...I just hope the next guy I kiss won't suck at it.



Bye. Love you all.

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Tuesday, September 4, 2007

   Well life offically sucks...
and so do all men.

feeling a little hungry and numb at the moment and people (everyone) are avoiding me so everything is back to normal... i hate it.

well I guess i'll be off then


~lizzie♥
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Thursday, August 30, 2007

   Damn it all to hell...
Just when I thought I was regaining my cool I hear about Jeremy with some other girl... god damnit.
Jeremy decided to come over to my house today unannouced and basically let himself in. Everything that he handed me I threw away in the trash... expect my class ring. I gave him his tshirt and ring and tried to talk to him. Saying what was on my mind and how I felt but he wouldn't listen. He was acting really stuck on himself. After he left I burned and cut him out of every picture i had of him which wasn't many... only two. I started to go to work on the Prom Pictures but my mom came home in time to stop me.

My brain, body, soul, and heart are on total overload. I'm so worked up that I am becoming physically sick. I've reached a whole new level of depession. And I can't find an escape to any of it...

I really would like to stop feeling... complete numbness would be ideal right now.
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Friday, August 24, 2007

   MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD!!!
Jeremy Clark is a mother fucking douchebag low life dumass insensitve cheating wife-beating heart stomping son of a bitch bastard of a fiance... and a jerk.
I should of broken up with him after I slapped him. Fuck.
It's a good thing I didn't break up with about a half hour ago or I would never see my $350 class ring again...

Heres a brief and slightly choppy version of what went down.

Power went out. Me and my dad left at 10 to catch the end of the football game so I could see him.
I waited outside the band room. He walked out. He wouldn't kiss, hug or hold my hand. (He doesn't make eye contact the whole entire time this is going on) We walked a couple of feet a girl handed him her purse. WHAT THE FUCK!!! Right in front of me he takes it. I walk in front of him and tell him to kiss me. He gave me a peck on the lips. This pissed me off since he had no trouble with PDA while we were in school togeather. I tell him to really kiss me. Once again a half ass kiss. The girl runs off without her bag. I tell him I need to talk to him, he gives her bag back, i shove him up against a wall. We exchange words...
He says I don't have to call you everyday. And I don't have to call you everyweek. Your acting crazy. You're crazy. (Yeah I'm crazy for loving someone so fucking much that I want to talk to him and see him.)
We talk for a little while longer. I ask him if he gets why i'm so upset he made the mistake of saying. No I don't. So I slapped him. I FUCKING SLAPPED HIM!!! I should of slapped him harder. I should of used my nails. Or punched him. I wish I did. Because the son of a bitch was waiting for it. He didn't flinch. (I'm roughly 5' 4" he's 6' 2" so it was a bit of a reach.) He's been stringing me along, or cheating on me. OR JUST DOESN"T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME!!! I was shocked that I actually slapped someone, so being the dumb polite idiot I am I applogized. I can tell he's not interested in me anymore. His reason for not treating me right is that is little sister has been getting on his case.
He said he'd call me tomorrow. For once I hope he doesn't.

It is over... He's cold and heartless and I hope whatever is left of his heart I tear and stick in a blender and feed it to his god damn dog.

I HURT AND I'M ANGRY AND I WANT TO HURT SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel horrible... like I'm really sick. I love him so much I would of done anything... Why doesn't he love me back?

Save your comments about me being a fool or stupid or something else that will set me off.... I'm really not in the mood.

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

   ... I'm not happy right now.

Kill by =Redeemer-of-light on deviantART


Artwork is Kill by =Redeemer-of-light
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