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Monday, October 8, 2007


   Finding Forever
I've been listening to Common's new album religiously for the last week. I love the social consciousness of the album. Its really on some "uplift our people" stuff, which is really appealing to me...now.

The now in that last sentence is the key word. Why does this interest me now and not before?

Well, there is very obvious reason for that....my ego. That supreme pride and confidence I have in myself has caused me to overlook other people...

But it goes even farther than that...

The album has a bunch of religious references, which caused me to also notice why I have such a beef with religion...

My Ego...

I have come to the conclusion that the major reason why I am not very religious is that it is damn near impossible to accept that my life is in someone else's hands. That someone else has determined my place in life...and as such my place in forever...is hard for me to accept...

At times, I just flat out refuse that notion all-together.

So, why is it that I am slowly but surely becoming more concerned about the state of my people and more open to religion now, even with my amazing ego?

Well, that to, is a simple answer....

My unborn child...

Simply put...if I can't push aside Keon Reshad Davis Sr. for my people....if I can't push him back even for my creator.....

Then how the hell can I push aside myself for my baby?

All of this, has forced me to...not CHANGE my view of ego...but ADVANCE it...

The only analogy I can think of to explain what I mean is a reference to Naruto...and I don't wanna do that...

Basically, pride is something that is shunned...(hell, its one of the 7 deadly sins), however...if utilized properly...it can be an immensely valuable asset.

I, however, up to this point have not been using it properly. Not to say that I have been using it wrong; I could just use it better, more efficiently. And as such...GET BETTER.

I am a good person; I can be better. I am not a great Christian, I need to be better. I am not a good son, I need to be better. I am not a good sibling, I can be better. I am a good lover, I can be better. I am a good fiance', I can be better. I will be a good husband, I need to be better. I am a good friend, I can be better. I will be a good father...but I NEED to be better.

I NEED TO BE BETTER.

I have been focusing too much on how great I am, and not enough on how immaculate I can be.

My kinetic energy over my potential, if you will...

I'm no longer stuck on the fact that I am great...

I am focusing on the fact that I can be SIMPLY AMAZING!!!!

This, will cause me to grow, to mature, and to become better, because my brain is finally wrapping around the idea of being more than I am.

If I can do the, I will undoubtedly find forever...and my place in it. ^_^

-Dueces

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