Thursday, August 28, 2003

somewhat disillusioned

Recently I've been feeling somewhat iffy about my reasons for participating on the boards. Heh, I think a good deal of this has been going around, and I'm not immune. For me, there are a few reasons, the main one being that all the good RPG's I've been in have died after their baby steps, or have turned to storylines that I'm not really interested in. For discussion threads, it usually just feels like everything has been said, so I don't really feel like repeating something -- or alternately, the discussion isn't anything I particularly care about. I want to give up posting in the Art & Design forum because it sometimes feels like people take offense at anything that's not "9.999999/10!".

(Hm ... that was unfair, not everybody is like that. But I have tried to constructively criticize someone in the past about a certain point, and I think it's occasionally taken as an insult instead. Really, I'm not trying to insult you ... I'm trying to help you.)

It doesn't really help the disillusionment when I come across moderator/staff members' myOtakus complaining about the termite-like newbie problem (I won't put any links, they're ridiculously easy to find). Though I do understand where they're coming from, and they always make sure to clarify it with "there are exceptions", it still doesn't make <250 posters like myself feel particularly welcomed.

Along the same lines, it feels like the older members have a clique that younger members will never be able to break into. Which is not an atmosphere I relish, having thought I left that behind in high school. I won't go into it any further.

I'm still somewhat bound to at least theotaku.com, though, because much earlier in the summer Adam agreed to let me be an anime reviewer for the site, which I'm pretty excited about. I've written a few more reviews this summer, and can't wait for the review site to launch. I'd hoped that being on OB would help me connect to more of the people who'd be using theotaku.com ... I don't know whether it's really accomplished anything so far.

Though I have made a few actual friends on OB, whom I really enjoy talking to :-D.

Enough of this wishy-washy back-and-forth stuff, I'm done ranting for now. I'll be going back to school tomorrow, and so will soon have much more to do than repeated trips to the mall, watching anime, and browsing OB. Sh***y things like homework, moving in, and choosing classes, but still :-P. (Although, last night, saw Chris Rock at a comedy show in New York, very cool.)
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