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Tuesday, April 3, 2007

this guy april foolsed me. Apperantly, he knows about my...secretness about my sex life (he doesn't know that I'm gay). so...yeahh. If only this was Sean, I would've held this in my heart.

then again, this guy isn't too bad either, but I'm taller than he is and...

EhRick013 (9:12:32 PM): im gay
thetruthofyouth (9:13:03 PM): you are?
EhRick013 (9:12:57 PM): yes
thetruthofyouth (9:13:17 PM): ohhhh. I see.
EhRick013 (9:13:14 PM): i like guys wiht big you know what
thetruthofyouth (9:13:35 PM): that's...cool.
EhRick013 (9:13:33 PM): yeah
EhRick013 (9:13:38 PM): :]
thetruthofyouth (9:14:09 PM): don't worry. I know you cant help it.
thetruthofyouth (9:14:14 PM): So I'm not going to judge you.
EhRick013 (9:14:07 PM): thanks you so much
EhRick013 (9:14:09 PM): your so cute
thetruthofyouth (9:14:28 PM): uh....
thetruthofyouth (9:14:33 PM): thank....you....?EhRick013 (9:14:27 PM): your welcom sexy
thetruthofyouth (9:14:56 PM): ....
thetruthofyouth (9:15:10 PM): what's with the sudden obession of me? its not like you liked me before...
EhRick013 (9:15:10 PM): you dont know that
thetruthofyouth (9:15:45 PM): well when I try to talk to you on aim, you seem like youre trying to avoid me...
EhRick013 (9:15:51 PM): no i dont baby thetruthofyouth (9:16:16 PM): maybe it was just your imagination...
thetruthofyouth (9:16:19 PM): *my
EhRick013 (9:16:15 PM): i want to be in your imagination
thetruthofyouth (9:16:32 PM): ....
EhRick013 (9:16:20 PM): naked:]
thetruthofyouth (9:16:38 PM): okay okay okay...
thetruthofyouth (9:17:00 PM): look, uh....unforutnatly for you, im straight. and also unfortuantley for you, I have my eye on someone else.
EhRick013 (9:17:00 PM): lmfao
EhRick013 (9:17:03 PM): april fools
thetruthofyouth (9:17:27 PM): ....
thetruthofyouth (9:17:32 PM): but....it's the third....

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Monday, April 2, 2007

Always Smiling
It seems like EVERY SINGLE TIME THAT I TRY TO TALK TO SEAN, SOMETHING happens that forces me not to. Both of sean's aim's away messages say that his grandmother's dead and that she is missed greatly. I cannot bother sean with my annoying "HI! WHAT'S UP!" messeges when someone obviously important to him just died.

Try again next week.

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[currently not listening to music]
I'm at school again. I don't have golf and I can't go to it all this week, so I'm probably going to hang out here in the library during seventh period. Not that I really want to go to golf in the first place...

I'm really nervous right now. Sixth period I have french, but it's hard for me to concentrate in that class because Madam Chimelski is sooooo boring and Ryan is so rude (though he's been nicer to me now...) and Keara is so...weird I guess.

Keara is doing like really weird stuff to me now. Before class, she told me that my shirt (gray with red text saying "Abercombie and Filtch") was cute. That really made me blush and I had to get a drink of water, and that made me late...anyway, she like touched my ear or something during a lesson and she said that it was a habbit or her doing that. It's obvious that she has a crush on me, because she straight up told me that we should start dating about a week ago...

anyway, she invited me to go to her birthday party which is about a month. She (including Ryan) said that it was a BOB party (bring your own bottle). This makes me worry that it might be...you know...a PARTY party.

I wonder if I should go or not. I mean, Sean is DEFIANTLY going to be there, him and Keara are pretty tight. But...what about me? Should I go just for the soul purpose of Sean? I don't want to you know...USE keara.

But still, I secretly consider her my enemy. She has a crush on Sean like I do. So going to a party of my enemy?

Of course she doesn't know that, and maybe going to this party might get Sean to notice me......

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Saturday, March 31, 2007

My paper heart
Tonight I decided to go with my parents to this asain food place. I had a spicy chicken thing, it was pretty good, but my stomach wasn't used to the spices there and...

anyway, the highlight of it was that I got a fortune cookie and it told me that "My perssistence will pay off soon". I wonder if it's talking about Sean...

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Orinoco Flow
I wonder if I should attempt to talk to him again. It's been litterly since christmas break since I last talked to him, he probably forgot about me. So...should I talk to him or not?

No, it's just going to hurt my feelings again when he ignores me.

But then again, if he does talk to me, I'll be happier than I ever was before...

ARGH. Can't decide...I have to get a flower with many petals...

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Friday, March 30, 2007

One time, I think it was wednsday...

well whatever day it was, I got out of my class early, (our teacher is cool like that), so I was on my way to lunch all the time using the quiet time to think about taht particular person whose name starts with an S.

So...I was going down the stairwell, and usually when I think of him, I slow down, so I was going like so slow, that my steps held no noise what so ever. Then I heard someone coming down the steps behind me and then...it stopped. I didn't dare look back up, because I was scared what I would find, so I got all the way down and the steps followed until which when I turned a corner I found out who was "following" me.

It's him!!! what luck do I have! Ordinarily, I wouldnt care (or atleast pretend to) so much, but this time was special, because it shows that he actually noticed me enough to...not follow me enough to see him. Bad news was that he wore sunglasses, so I couldn't see his eyes. I hate it when he does that.

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

Finish the Promise
I totally reorganized my aim thingy, so now one side is guys and one side is girls. And now that I did that, I relized that more people like me than I thought so. I have like 130 friends and didnt even realized it. go figure.

Anyway...I think I have developed a new crush in my french class. Well not really. Well actually I'm not sure what it is...I just...notice someone, I guess?

Mariah told me that my friend is here, but appearently she skipped French again, so...she wasn't there. She sat in front of me, so naturally, there wasn't anyone there. Keara sat to the OTHER side of me (right) because appearently a good friend of her sat in front of her. We are in the very back.

A really tall person; we call her Fredirick, but his real name is Marc, decided to sit in front of me.

And he plays a sport that I ACTUALLY ENJOY WATCHING. Baseball! He's like 6'2..I think? I'm 5'10 exactly. So...he's taller than me. He isn't a body-builder like Sean is, but that doesnt mean the he isnt cute either.

Anyway, this rude person named Ryan sits to my left, and he WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. He's not like annoying, he's too smart to be that, but he's just so rude that he's...ARAGHHHH!

He told me (after I anwsered the teacher's question. Something about Mike Myers), "you don't know ****."

Then Marc turned around and said "Dale, don't make him get away with that! Tell him Shut the fuck up!"

And I, obviously, got nervous so I said "whatt?" (my voice gets squeaky when I get nervous, I hope he didn't notice.) Anyway, he said that again, but he added "I'll back you up." That makes me feel so...protected. Even though he probably didn't mean it.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I saw it on your keyboard
OKay. people keeps on annoying me with really stupid questions such as "Who is this Sean person" and "What does he look like?" "Is he HOTTT?" "Are you GAY?" Good GOD people. Do you know how many freaking e-mails I get these a DAY at myspace? Just for your people then... He's the one on the right, obviously. This is what he used to look like before he died his hair and did other funky stuff to it. I like it better this way, it gives me memories. I loved it so much that I put it on my ipod, (or my losted one anyway.) His hair is brown and his eyes are hazel. I don't know who that girl is.
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

[currently not listening to music]
I'm at school right now. I hope that I wont get caught doing this, because normally I'm on a side where a lot of teachers wont see me, but now I'm typing from a side that is infested with teachers. I only picked this spot because I thought the person right next to me would be funny and cool, but she's not. I keep eminimizing this screen like every ten seconds.

Anyway, in french today, there's this girl name Keara that sits next to me, and litterly out of nowhere, she just started talking about Sean. She wasn't tlaking to me, I just overehared the conversation she had with another girl called shalendrea. She just blurted out some stuff about him. She said that Sean like juggles his arms or something. I didn't really understand that, but she said that he had a "belahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Does that mean that he's...kinda chubby? Or is that the black version of saying he has a nice, hot chest? Why do I care so much to risk myself getting caught just to tell you this?

Oh Sean...You've tormented me more than anyone else I know...so why...can't I dislike you?

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Monday, March 19, 2007

[currently not listening to music.]
He didn't add me. I don't know what to do.
I'm crying right now.

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