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Friday, October 13, 2006


Oh the Horror!



And I’m not talking about it being Friday the thirteenth, though that’s invariably why today happened. You see, today was the official release of Lemony Snicket’s A series of Unfortunate Events, book the thirteenth, The End. We had a party in the store.

Now, granted, we didn’t have Lemony Snicket or Brett Helquist in store – that’d be Union. But, we did have a party. Regardless of the fact that we’d been trying to shunt as many people as possible toward Union all week, we still had a nice turnout.

Nice = traumatic (naturally)

It wasn’t so much the suffocating crowd of grabby customers, or the pushy chair smugglers, or the attempted assassination of an entire display of Snicket 13. No…it wasn’t even so much the fact that the store was more or less trashed after the ebb.

What was truly traumatic…was watching full grown adults and a sea of chibis nearly riot when I held the grand prize over my head. We had a raffle, see. Several, in fact. The grand prize was an autographed copy of the new book.

The winner?

A 52 year old man, whom had totally rigged the pot by putting in about six ballots, and winning, one of six copies of the cd, the only copy of Book the first on audio by Tim Curry, and the most coveted Book the thirteenth, complete with Lemony Snicket’s Johnny Hancock.

Unfortunately, there was nothing the staff could do but try to placate sed chibis with stickers, Snicket pencils, iron ons and more masks to color. Which, after an entire Snicket themed event, really didn’t make them any happier.

I’m cool with anyone being a fan of anything. But, please play fair.

I guess in the end, it wasn’t a very successful event. Three of the winners were under five. As the crowd of outraged Snicket fans shouted: They can’t even read the books!!

Alas, this may be true. But, whilst there is no age limit, and you’re all feeling cheated, please take heart in the fact that as employees, we not only had to put up with your whining, your mess, and your disappointment, we also weren’t eligible for a damn thing.

Yay employment.





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