Friday, June 2, 2006
Searching for myself
As I gaze upon the ruins of my self I wonder how I got here?
Did I lose my path?
Did I ignore the signs and walk into the darkness of night without realising?
I was caught unawares; my pride trampled my humanity destroyed.
As I pick up the pieces of my confidence and try to rebuild the person I once was I wonder if I will make this mistake again. I play the events of the past five months back and try to pinpoint the one instance where it all went wrong. One day, when I am wise enough I might just get there
How are you all doing? As you can see from the little hastily written passage above I am not too well. It is that special time at my job when people make me fill small incapable and in general a right fool. I do wonder why I let people bring such emotions in me. I guess I am not as strong an individual as I imagined I am. I have learned a lot about myself during this past few months and about the sort of person I am. I now know that even if something is torturous if I have made the commitment I will see it through. I have learned that I do have integrity and pride. Well I donít know I think I just need to put this all down and have people tell me what they thing, and if I am just being a silly mooh!
Can I just say thank you to everyone that replied to my last post and that keeps coming to visit me even though I am not always around and donít always visit back! You guys keep me sane!!! Big Hugs to you all!!