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Friday, May 27, 2005


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Hello my friends, how are you. i Have yet another problem you see my 16th B-day is coming up and because of this my mom wants me to act more mature but-- i dont wanna grow up just yet im not ready, i mean ill grow up and act my age evntually but for right now i just wanna be a kid for a little while longer is that soo bad??I like being a little kid its fun and it makes me happy, i cant just stop all of a sudden and grow up being a kid is just who i am. i wasnt able to have a childhood when i was a little kid because you see i was abused by one of my mom's boyfriends when she went to work everynight. and she wasnt around alot either because of her work but thats not her fault i dont blame her because of that. and my mom and dad got divorced, so i stayed with my mom and her family but that was a bad idea i wouldnt exactly call them family because their always arguing and yelling and fighting with one another. was alone. I was bullied by people at school and bearly had any friends. No matter how hyper I acted I was always alone. My grandma, while keeping me alive with whatever little love she gave me was not really enough to really make me live. When my brother was born I decided to live for him so he'd have a better childhood then me. Still, if all of this was happening to a child who bearly knew right from wrong in the adult word how could you deny her the justice she deserves after years of abuse in my heart I still feel a need to cry during the night. And if I have a nightmare or two it's nothing special. I'm going to continue to stay hyper and chibi the rest of my life but, for now I'm allowing myself to cry and hoping that soon I'll lift myself up against the destruction and ruble of my past. Thanks for listening!
Gotta go, Love ya though!!! ^.^

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