Friday, January 20, 2006

   Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!!!
So I haven't been around for awhile, there's good reason let me assure you. It's something called "better things to do with my time than stare at a screen" but now I'm dedicating time to do just that and let everyone know that I'm alive-ish.
The other night my friend and his girlfriend got into somewhat of a fight. Mr. Dazzle was being a blind and cold hearted SOB to dear Little Miss Violet, who he loves. It's confusing how the world work in such mysterious contradictive ways. I thought about their situtaion and decided that, as a human, as a mortal with foresight and the ability to formulate solutions to avoid past problems, One will inevitablely hurt the one they love and find more kindness toward to ones you hate. This I lolled over my tongue(s) for awhile and it seemed streamlined with many expirences that support it. I dug deeper. Perhaps there's a certain level of harassment that accompanies the trust that one gives to their beloved. I understand that it's easier to get mad at someone that you trust for betraying it, but why should one give them extra anxeity for things that they have no part in? By chance it may be because they are such a huge part of life to those who love them; paradox is the last thing that such a compliment would be viewed as by a frustrated lover. Ensues is a complicated web of possible misunderstanding and bruised ego, but that's not the worst or the best. It is not entirely improbable to take a step out of your skin and taking a neutral position, for just a moment even, and see it as a whole situation. This gives one justifiable arguments for both sides and a deeper understanding of the opposite counterpart's malaise, ill-heartedness, bad-temper, or (in my case) completely deteriorated sanity.
For your information I do realize this has nothing to do with golf shoes.... or FaLiLV (acronyms are weird "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas")
In the forefront of my thoughts there's this little piece of sanity that I rarely listen to for very long, out of habit mostly, it is barely a whisper and has a 90% acuracy rate. most people describe it with the word: Intuition. I use the term: Divine Inclination. It's a peice of me that everyone has and should be able to access to some degree or another. It's the part of our very souls that knows all the secrets of every particle that composes us and passes through us on a daily basis. It's the part of us that has infinite knowledge and the part of us that can only interpret so much of the unfathomable. It is you, undeniable and uncomprehensible you. It makes you no less nor more valueable because of the mortal sense of the word "value", but makes you infinitely more than what one would normally make of themselves. It makes you insightful and insight is slightly less important than breathing and more important than anything our senses can value. It's a hybrid between the pleasure of being human and the tourment of being mortal. It is a big part of the Physio-psychological realm that we need to balance. Easier than it looks, harder than it sounds, that definitely might be the most simplistic complication of living.

I lovingly hate you-
*Sparkles*

"I hate you for loving me, I love you for hating me, save yourself." - Peter Steele
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