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Friday, February 23, 2007

I'm chilling at my place (moved out of the parents' houses) watching some Mortal Kombat Armagedon. Looks pretty sweet. Worth a few un-sobered laughs, cause the mario cart stlye mini game is the most hilarious thing to play. Due to my recent breach of 21 years, finding a favourite drink is seeming harder and harder. I'm really starting to enjoy myself and work up the courage to be a bit more social. Esp. since my friend for many years turned out to be a shallow, emotion sucking trainwreck. She said something about H.S.S. That really struck me as enraging, "Sometimes I believe that he's the only ne that understands me." Just after she told me that he's a leech and a lost soul. This hit me funny because she'd been rambling on drunkenly about how she can help those kind of people. When now she was calling herself one of them. Though I don't thin k that's how she saw it at all, cause she was pretty well trashed. A panicy f*cking mess was what she was. I wanted to slap her an tell her to grow a pair cause she was freaking out about a guy that she wasn't even dating (who wanted to move slow) that she made herself into the rebound girl for. Self-Afflicted. She neeeeeeeeeeds to get out into the real world... hahaha... and here I am posting on an anime blog... AAAaaaaahhh! Sweet, sweet irony.


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Friday, January 26, 2007

Just keeping track of thoughts
I moved out of my dad's house, for the most part. It was creating too much animosity between my mother and I; then between my Step-mother and myself. Something about me with female authoritive figures just doesn't mix well. Not sure precisely what it is but damn, it sucks.

So I went on "vacation" with my mother to visit some relatives. The days went as follows:

day 1) Driving up in the blizzard from hell trying to reach Oscoda, MI before my Aunts boyfriend that was in jail for beating her gets out. Assuming that if he were to be a fool he'd do it right away, just to make her feel safe we went to visit. On the way up my mom opens up her fifth of SoCo and starts drinking while driving, in a blizzard, in a vehicle she's never really driven often in the snow and proceeds to bitch about it the entire way up there. Her drinking got worse the further north we got and by the time we made it to my Aunts house she had nearly a half of it gone. She proceded to drink the rest of itaccept 2 shots within 2 hours. She was nodding out, and like most drunk people, had a volitile demeanor. Freaking out one minute and happy-go-lucky the next. For the most part she was bitter and mean. It was her first night there so I would have let it blow by had it not been for the third night.
day 2) We woke up and she was sober, to my knowledge and we visited my Aunt and then went to see my other Aunt. I drank there, Bon-bons are awesome. We had a good time, for the most part my mom keep herself in line. And we went to the bar were my Aunt works and got some drinks and kept her company until close. My mother should not have driven but insisted that it was too cold to walk. She was relativly copasetic, but being pulled over would have been another ticket for her.
day 3) She woke up and immediately had a few shots of scotch. We stopped and she got a pint of SoCo and we visited yet another Aunt of mine. She'd only drunk about a third of it while we were there, because it's kind of hard to drink and talk at the same time. By the time I had driven my Aunt that we originally went to see home my mom had finished her pint. It took all of thirty minutes. After that she left for my Aunt's bar and had one drink, cause she was trashed. So much so that it had taken 3 people to get her back into the place where we were staying. It was so embarassing for my Aunts. Later she say something to the effect of: it's ok to act like an ass in a place were nobdy knows you. But she had sat at the bar and likely told everyone there that she is the bartender's sister. That isn't right, I can't believe this happened. I'm so embarassed. And she's not. She doesn't even think that there's anything wrong with what she did. How do you tell an alcoholic that what they are doing is wrong? You don't do you?


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Friday, December 1, 2006

My mother may be a lush, but this slush falling from the sky is pissing me off. This is the worst kind of precipitation that I can imagine (aside from liquid oxygen rain). The best kind of precipitation would be cocoa puffs and milk... or whatever your cereal preferance. Dead battery and my cycle just starting. Hell. Damn. Shit.

Ahhh, well. Peace.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

   Hot Damn, electronics are not my friends.
So it was really cold the other day and I didn't start the truck (normally it is driven every day I didn't so much as start it) and now the battery is DEAD. I called around to find a jump. Then I sat down to watch some TV to kill the time and What's This? Nothing but a line of light on the television screen?! All the plug-ins are fine and the down hill trend I hope does not continue. So much for a good vacation.


ahhhh, well. hahahahahahahaha! I guess if you can't laugh at your own misfortunes them you have a stick in you ass...



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Tuesday, November 7, 2006

   I hope that
If you are able to you go out and vote today that you do, If you're American of course. If you don't it's like handing someone else your Rights and telling them "Hey, I don't need these Uh just, you know, do whatever with them."

Do let that happen to you.

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Monday, September 11, 2006

   Pippity-poo! I see you!
What in the world that mean I have no idea...

Just thought I'd throw a little confusion in there...

Did it work?

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Sunday, June 4, 2006

   I'm not sure exactly, however
There are a few things that have been on my mind. Thing that I believe should never have had the opportunity to breed in my mind. Have you ever had one of those times in your life where things just seem to de going too well, and you know that it's not going to last and you just can't explain it to anyone cause you know no one would understand entirely? Everything's moving too fast in slow motion? Makes you want to tear your eyeballs out? That's about as far as I can take this... here anyhow. Just too personal to post. It kinda makes me sad. Some of the thoughts that I've considered in the past few weeks. It buggs me to know that I can't really open up about it without hurting feelings. I can't just tiptoe around about this either. The longer it east at me the more I realize that I am more true to myself than I realized and now it's ruining my consciousness. I hate and love myself sooo much. I want to find myslef and yet I already know where I reside. I just need the courage to confront myself. I need what I have lost with the passage of time. Why does one let things go for love, especially those things that are most important? Force of habit for the blind I guess. Leaving it simmer seems like the best course of action as of now. Leave it be, but not for so lng as to make it a horrible mess in the end.
I love and hate you all...
My dear ones,

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

   Maniacal Laughter

just thought it would be fun to do that... need to clean and paint, peace.


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Friday, May 12, 2006

   I had this crazy dream...
I'm not exactly sure how it strated... it's kind of patchy. There was a an entirely wood grain house, that I was in. It was two stories tall an falling apart or something... my boyfrined had left and there was something wrong. I felt worried and went outside. It was pitch black with no stars and everything looked dilapidated and distorted. I had this feeling like I had to go fast, there was danger around me everywhere. I see a half decayed fish with white glazed over eyes (in extreme close-up then it was gone). Then, I saw them creeping in at the edges oof my viosion but no matter how hard I tried, when I looked directly at them they'd disappear... They were ninjas, all dressed in black. I started to walk throught the streets a little bit fast and a little more aware that I have to not pay attension to see them. Everything started to blur and then one of them tried to take me form behind. Somehow I reversed his move and threw him on the ground in front of me. I looked at his eyes and they were the same dead-fish eyes. I twisted his neck and started running to a house that had all its lightes on, the only house that was not dilapidated, blurred and uninhabited. I found someone and helped him with the ninjas that had been around him and he showed me how to get into the house. There was a porch like thin inset into the house and a dorr frame only. There was a stairway right nex to the door frame. I felt safe for the moment. There was a full one story house and it smelled of food... wild boar in fact, and there were many people milling about here. I went down the stairs to another one story house, I looked down to the basement and realized I'd have to stay here cause that's where the ninjas would come from, there were people here too, and one particular guy, a man of African decent started talking to me. I see the picture of the decaying fish again and it is gone. I hurled myself up the stairs and warned everyone.... I hear talking... is that... oh, hi kitty... nice to see that someone was sleeping with me... someone talking on the phone and that's when I rememmbered my dream.
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Wednesday, May 3, 2006

   I found the perfect ducky for my kittyness
I've been away for a while again, dear me I should remeber to post more often, especially when it comes to pictures.

I found a boyfreind that doesn't spend all of his time playing guitar, and he actually takes me places on spontaneous occasions. I LOVE IT! It's nice to have someone whose company is comforting and takes the time to listen to what my opinion is even if he doesn't agree.

I don't feel like I'm second to a guitar/band any more. There were so many tings that my X did that I would never have forgiven him for had we not broken up. It still bugs me that we couldn't salvage our friendship. It makes it feel like I wasted a year on something that had no meaning. If ony he hadn't been an ass to me after he found out that I had been with someone during our "break", whatever that is... those never work out. We both knew our relationship was deteriorating, but then he had to smart mouth me "choosing your word carefully I see... Hahahaha" When in all reality there was no reason he couldn't have asked me about it in person. He acts like he wouldn't have dropped me like a box of rocks had I told him anyhow. So I guess in the end, it wasn't worth the time to salvage. Ahh well, 'cest la vie.

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