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myOtaku.com: Sonics Dark Soul5


Sunday, June 24, 2007


   What is wrong with me...
Mood: Sad and Lonely
Listening to: My Immortal - Evanescense
Currently Working On: Nothing cuz i'm too sad
Reading: Nothing for the same reason


...

Why is fate so cruel...

Why did I have to see him again...I thought i was done seeing him...forever...

But he still haunts me...Darell...

I thought it would be a pleasent time at the mall...but seeing him makes me sick...

I still fucking like him...and i dont know why. He sees me and makes me miserable...and i dont think he means to or knows his presence hurts me.

He talks of how happy he is with his girlfriend and how moving wont be so bad...as if he knows what i'm going through...He says he has felt my pain...

FUCK NO HE HASN'T! HE DUMPED ME SO EASILY FOR ANOTHER...HE WILL NEVER KNOW HAT PAIN, SINCE HE DOESN'T CARE IF SOMEONE DUMPS HIM. HE CAN HAVE ALL THE LOVER HE WANTS! IT WONT MAKE HIM TRULY HAPPY!

...

I'm crying...I can't take this shit...Why was I thrown like some rag doll...My heart aches...God damn this fucking place...Not otaku...the world...I need to go somewhere peaceful...I yearn for a life with no more pain...but i now that is just a fleeting dream...I have learned True Happiness cannot possibly exsist...not with the way humans are...I have only felt it from 3 people...One is dead because of me...one threw me away..and one is still here, being supportive and at my side...That is Kris...FC-chan...She is the only one that really understands me and what the hell I've been through...she has it worse than I...Yet she still lends a hand to me...She is why i cling on to the idea of true happiness...why i can still believe in it...But slowly, people are prying me away from it. That is way i need to get away from it all. When Me, Kris, and Amy all move away together. Maybe then...We will find true hapiness...

~Zi-kun~

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