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Monday, January 18, 2010

Mood: Creative
Date: Tuesday January 26th 2010; 12:14AM

DXXXXX I am not meant for typography!!!
;~; mmm this is a very very hard semester and I feel sad I do not go visit people. I just never have the time to do that and so I am not going to update -_-;;;
I really like the red theme though. It's neato <3<3<3

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Monday, December 28, 2009

Date: Monday 1:21PM December 28th 2009

The last time I posted here was around October right before school started. Well that's probably the entire reason I haven't been posting. School drowned me. Art school for anyone that doesn't know. I do like it but I dont know..
No one has the intense passion for art that I do. The teachers are horrible. The students who strive to do their best, the teachers dont even think about but the ones who do their work 5 minutes before class or are too lazy to do things- the LOVE them. WTH!?
I'm overly stressing out now and needed somewhere to write it out..
i spent christmas alone which was wonderful. I didn't get anything which was wonderful. and the reason i say that is because this. My college tuition is about $7,000 a quarter. My father ranted and raved constantly before i went to school that he had tons of money and was literally giving it away. the guy is an alcoholic and is the worst rotten piece of shit i've ever met. it's infuriating. he buys random crap he doesn't need. if he had $5 is his pocket he would act like it's $50.
I try to never ask him for anything because i knew school would be a huge amount of money and he promised to pay it when i was in 5th grade but suddenly this year he believed he didn't need to work that he could lie in bed and sit in a bar all day long doing nothing and make a ton of money. That's in no way shape or form true for anyone of any case unless you've inherited a fortune.
So no longer does my father have any income which means he cannot pay my tuition as promised. When i dont ask for things like christmas and birthday presents and dont take his offers to go out to eat or something it's because i expect him to put that money towards college but i'm so stupid because all it really goes towards is his tab at a bar and cocaine. and yes he does do cocaine because i've caught him.
so at first he decided to sell some of the random crap he's bought just because he's wanted it like a motorcycle when he already has 3 cars to himself. So for the first tuition payment he sold the motorcycle for $10,000 so he had $3000 left over which when straight towardssssss ...drinking obviously.
The second payment was due December 2nd and.. It's the 28th and he still hasn't paid it. he didn't even start worrying about it till the 4th. He's been trying to sell a stupid supercharged mustang he bought from a friend. I hate this car with passion. why the hell he bought it i have NO IDEA because only his girlfriends drive it and he has like 10 while being married at the same time. Because no one is buying anything right now he can't sell it and is making me put all of this crap on craigs list for him. I do not see why it's my job to sell his junk.
Because the car isn't selling he wants me to put his other car which is a cadalac XLR (like he needed that to begin with) online and try to sell it too. He's also been talking about selling this house (which he doesn't need either). It's a four bedroom house, it's huge and i'm the only one that lives here full time so why does he need it? IDK =_=
anyway on sunday he brought up to me that WE need to get a student loan and that I need to talk to my mother about it. so i said "why do i need to talk to her?" she's not going to cosign a loan because she's already stuck with 2 that my dumbass stepsister defaulted on. So he goes "ok well then i'll cosign and i'll pay what i can on it during your school"
1) he has shitty credit
2) i dont have a job
3) "i'll pay what i can while you're in school" means that I have to pay the loan after I get out of school by myself.
4) "i'll pay what i can while you're in school" means he is not obligated to pay for shit. at all. and i know him. he'd rather buy random crap with that money then put a cent of it towards me.

he starts talking about how he was talking to his wife's niece yesterday and how she was saying there were people in her office who make ten times more than she does doing graphic design. which means he's hinting at me supporting him later in life. I dont think so. it makes me furious thinking about having to know him for another 5 years forget anything else.

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Mood: Lonely
Date: Tuesday October 6th 2009; 4:28pm

Last post i think some people kinda misunderstood me. I didn't mean to come off snobby by saying no one could draw as well as me.. or even sound like that. I never have anyone else challenge me and you can only improve so much by challenging yourself. I constantly have to get more and more ideas and keep pushing myself but I want someone or really several people to be better than me so i can learn from them. not even learning anything is very frustrating and depressing. If this college costs $80,000 then i expect to learn something i don't already know.

I had drawing again today. Teacher now doesn't like me so much. I turned in the assignments and extra work on top of that with time to spare. I started to put my huge drawing pad up and he got a little irritated with me and sarcastically asked me "are you leaving us?" My personal opinion- If you've done the assignment. AND extra work on top of that AND turned it in i think you should be able to do free drawing.

for the past two days i've been shaking so bad i can't hold my hands still at all. I thought the first day it was just because of nerves from school but no. It was still there today and i felt so. sick.. just like really weak. at 11 I went to get something to eat at noisy oyster. I got a salad i expected to be tiny. no not at all. I didn't even finish a fourth of it. Maybe an 8th. I couldn't stomach anymore. I felt bad wasting so much food.. I never do that. Food sort of helped but it just eventually came back.
Maybe i need to eat more often or something..


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Monday, October 5, 2009

Mood: Chipper
Date: Monday October 5th 2009; 1:23 PM

Well :3 Today is the first day of classes! and you won't believe-
See I have trouble sleeping so if i know i have to get up in the morning i HAVE to take benadryl to put me to sleep. so I took two last night and went to bed at 10:15 passed out.
My alarm set for 6:00, another at 6:15, 6:30, 6:40, and 6:45 (i need multiple or i wont wake)
it went off at 6:00 and 6:15. the rest- NO
I woke up amazingly on my own at 7:20. FLIPPED OUT. you have no idea and amazingly got dressed and everything in 10 minutes. I looked like crap but that was besides the point...
I start to leave and there's SUCH heavy traffic to get off the island i live on. ;~~~~~;
i'd forgotten about the traffic.
I make it downtown. find a spot. dont even have to pay for parking because of handicap pass >D
<_> thank god for that. i know it's my fathers and i'm not supposed to use it but i dont think you guys understand where i live. there are not spaces you an park in.... you have to pay SOOOOOO much.
there should be a free garage... something idk.
the school doesn't have parking-

the school's policy on attendence:
-1st day absent; excused
-2nd day absent; letter grade
-3rd day absent; letter grade
-4th day absent; failure of class

late is accounted in increments of 15 minutes. once a total of 3hrs it's an absence.

Very worried but i think it'll be alright really... it's just i've always missed at least three days of school in highschool but at least now i only have the class x amount of times instead of all week.

having a 3hr class i thought would be extreme but really i was just.... idk it flew by so fast.
I'm very disappointed. See in highschool i was top in every art class i was ever in. the only time i had competition was in my art 2 class at James Island high school by a girl named sarah who taught me how to color with white. amazing- she was so good but i felt like she used her potential in the wrong way. she drew names in a hip hop fashion when she could have done so much more.
I got to the class, since it's an art school i really expected a LOT of competition but there was none.. we had an assignment to draw a picture upside down to get basic line structure. I finished and looked around since it was dead quiet. No one else was done. no one was even half way done.. i looked at a few pictures and their lines didn't match the picture they were drawing right... I dont know. I never tell someone they suck at drawing because you can always learn and do better i just expected someone else in the class to love art as much as i do since it's an ART school. It's called the ART INSTITUTE for a reason. *sighs*

I want to paint this

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Friday, October 2, 2009

Mood: Bouncy
Date: Saturday October 3rd 2009 12:26AM

jae has new music :DDDD that no one else will like :| I showed Japan86 the song ^^; she didn't like. i know several people wont like it but it's so funkeh it me i loooove it. (sparkle's fault)

So people are getting into arguments over who belongs to who D: (lala's fault xD) and i must state JaeJoong is so mine- same name. hands down i win- HA.

oh this guy too...

Well before I start school monday I decided to take a quick trip to Georgia. It'd be nice to just get away for a weekend and relax so i'm not completely stressed out for school. But i understand relaxing doesn't work when you're around 4 kids who are all between 3yrs-5months. some how i'm comfortable. living with my father is like having 10 2 year olds throwing tantrums. i think i might take them over my father actually. least you have athority sake- pff

This is so cute. Idk where sparkle got it lol


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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Mood: energetic
Date: Thursday Octover 1st 2009; 8:27PM

I know I never visit anyone. I have good reason. I dont have the internet. long story dont want to get into a rant. Lala and sparkle know i can talk about my father forever. >>

Good news everyone! [/futurama] 8D
I had college orientation today. =_= i've never sat through someone so boring. I learned .... nothing except college attendence is CRAZY.
We can miss ONE single day without penalty. Idk about you guys but that scares the crap about of me. I've NEVER gone a single semester in highschool without missing at least 3! ;~; i'm going to diee i'm going to dieeeeeee. If you miss 2 it's a letter grade. 3 another letter grade 4 you fail. period. DDDD;

Finding a place to park downtown is frickin' CRAZY. I'm already furious. It took me 30 minutes of driving around to realize this wasn't going to work and i went to park at my never-going-to-be-ready-because-dad-keeps-spending-money-on-whores appartment and there was no parking there either! the whole lot was completely jam packed! ;_; idkwtftodo!!!!
i parked on the side of the street and used my father's handicap pass (which he's not =_=) then walked to school. not that i minded it it's just so frustrating. i should have done that to begin with.


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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I never visited anyone from last post but i have to put this up xD
btw Taylor is addicted-2-jrock; Leslie is crimson-rose. ^_^-

Jae: leslie's not being responsive....
Jae: i think she's teaching her younger sister about rope
Taylor: rope..... *laughs*
Jae: like special knots and stuff so jun can't get away xD
Taylor: XDDDDDDDDDDDD ever show her that picture?
Jae: ......i should shouldn't i?
Taylor: nah :D
Jae: xD
Jae: ._.
Jae: oh my god
Taylor: ?
Jae: the pictures sparkle gave me last night
Jae: holy.crap.
Taylor: what is it
Jae: it was jun again
Taylor: lol
Jae: but a million times ....better and worse
Taylor: O_O
Jae: depends on how you look at it-
Jae: if you like that stuff it's a million times better
Jae: if you dont then worse
Taylor: lemme see
Jae: i say both because i pretend to not like that stuff xD
Taylor: you fail at pretending
Jae: ommm idk if i still have them h/o
Jae: i dont exactly keep porn on my computer >_>;
Taylor: LMAO
Taylor: *dies*
Taylor: nah... jun = porn
Jae: lol
Taylor: its so true
Jae: dont laugh
Jae: i've completely forgotten how to check my history.........
Jae: *trying to hard to just find that forget about the porn*
Taylor: okay can i laught at you for that
Jae: found it!
Jae: i really dont think i should be showing you this...
Jae: it's horrible on my part
Taylor: its okay. i'll be okay
Jae: how old are you again?
Taylor: 19
Jae: are you a police agent?
Taylor: not that i remember
Jae: i dont believe you *goes to ask leslie*
Jae: oh by the way it's not jun it's yamapi
Jae: o_o
Taylor: what O_O
Jae: that's why leslie said! .O.
Jae: i can't show them to you now!!!
Taylor: my dad is police
Jae: i dont want to get arrested ;_;
Taylor: WHAT
Jae: i didn't show you this (This is not a real link. Do not click)
Taylor: XDDD i've seen those
Jae: .........
Jae: wtf haven't you seen or heard?!
Jae: wait
Jae: wait
Jae: you look up porn? O_O
Taylor: i do not look up porn!
Taylor: http://media.photobucket.com/image/nichkhun/anka_sk/2PM/11.jpg
Jae: finally i've seen something you show me
Taylor: :D
Jae: i wasn't like this before sparkle <<;
♫ Love Me - Frank Sinatra
Jae: she's corrupted my mind
Taylor: i like frank sinatra D:
Jae: Strong Baby by Seungri
Taylor: lmao that video makes me laugh
Jae: <_< it's porn
Jae: it is
Jae: like one step under
Taylor: it pretty much is
Jae: xDDDD
Jae: and just because i watch it everyday doesn't mean anything
Taylor: means you are addicted to porn
Jae: no it...means.... i'm addicted to.... crack

xDDD -¢¾

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Sunday, August 2, 2009

Mood: Cranky
Date: August 2nd 2009 9:46PM

I went to Charlotte North Carolina for the weekend. In general it was fun but after 7PM you have to be 21 to get into ANYTHING including the movie theaters and restaurants. -_-;
*sighs* It was very difficult because I was going with my friend since I was 4, Lauren, and her mother. Her mother.... makes EVERYTHING complicated and cannot drive. -_- simple directions of "go to the corner" she thought was too confusing for me to understand so instead she said 5million other things which i couldn't understand until lauren took the phone.
The trip was pretty good though but i really wish I had my camera because I could have gotten a lot of ideas for drawings but my father decided it was more important to get fuzzy pictures of his "not girlfriend" from ft. sumter when her back was turned while she was reading a sign. pointles... so anyway-

I get home and dad says from the kitchen " ...you're going to get mad at me" the first thing into my head is if he gave away my apartment because he spent too much money on his goddamn kitchen renovation which he did NOT need- i will kill him right here and now and not even feel bad about it. I never ask my father for anything and he knows the one thing i want more than anything else right now is to live there. but thank god that wasn't it. he was SOOO embarassed that he had 4 salad forks and 4 dinner forks at a get together with like 6-8 people that instead of him just... letting people get a normal fork he just HAD to have something where they all matched together! just HAD to. So he went through my college&appartment stuff to find the set i had and used them. w....t....f IT'S A FRICKIN FORK WHO CARES IF IT MATCHES!?
that's not even what pissed me off the most. when i came home i walked in my room and i'm really OCD. everything in order turned a certain way. it has to be like that for me. well i found a cap to my makeup on the floor but it was the top to one of those powder things idk... i kept that on a high shelt behind a memory box i had and i looked up there and just.. put it back. i was irritated someone was in my room and couldn't understand why on earth someone had taken the cap to my makeup and just thrown it on the floor so i then looked down to discover my artwork was rearanged. dad was showing my artwork off to his friends and then i saw something. the cheetah i was working on was behind a frame which had metal pins out the back that could have ripped my picture to shreds. that cheetah- when i finish i could sell for $1000-$2000 because of it's size and rediculous detail. I couldn't beleve he came so close to tearing that thing; i had a heart attack right there. i figured he took some artwork down off the shelf and knocked the makeup off, it hit the floor and the top popped off. probably. my father said the 17 year old girl that was here wanted to get into the stuff i do and i looked at him and could honestly tell him she doesn't even know what i do because my lyric stuff is what i do and i had my portfolio with me on the trip.
he's just sooo0-0ipu4ith2o34uth I WANT OUT OF THIS HOUSE!


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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Mood: Exhausted
Date: Thursday July 9th 2009

Well It's the middle of the summer for everyone I think. What's everone done so far on their vacation? :3
Well I actually did have internet when I got here but I just dont have time to get on the computer really. I try to get on it at night for like an hour but Lala and sparkle are trying to steal my man, Jaejoong so I have to spend the most of my time fending them off and that is my excuse why I do not visit sites.

I woke up today exhausted and just could not get out of bed till 12:00 which made no sense.. It's not like I went to sleep all that late. I was just so tired I could not lift my head, i couldn't text my friend back, eugh it was weird. So I figured maybe it's because I haven't had anything real to eat lately. When my father goes to the grocery store he only buys meat it seems like. So I sulk and much on celery D; -kidding
Well I got up, tired and hell but i looked pretty today for some reason O_o You know how you just have those days? Went to the grocery store and bought $75 in complete and total vegetarian food |D I'm SET!

:| but then i came home and ate something and it didn't really do crap for me... @_@


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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Mood: Scared
Date: Thursday, May 28th 2009; 11:51AM

:| *blinks* well... I'm officially out of high school. ... I feel like I'm being pushed off a cliff. I don't know what do to now. I mean yes i have a plan, i know where I'm going for college but there's just so many choices D: i don't like this! *runs back to school banging on the doors to let her it* ;-; Jae-jae dont like change...

I am going to move back to Charleston on the 10th, 11th, or 12th. My mother's birthday is on the 9th as is Somegirl's otaku anniversary :D! and graduation's on the 8th. I'm not looking forward to it though i know i should be.

I'll be going there tomorrow too for awhile. See the downside is when i leave you guys wont see me for a long time. My father doesn't have internet access i dont think.. He might have gotten it back i'm not sure but last i checked no. So the next time I will have it is when i am in my own house in downtown Charleston late-august i think.
I will miss all of you so extremely much ;-;

If anyone has any music they'd like to share |D feel free..


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