Monday, April 12, 2004

Back...
You know when you really want to do something and then it like falls appart or you just get bored of it. Well this thing is just like that. I have always wanted a journal because it really helps for me to vent my feelings on something, however I tend to loose sight of the goal and forget or just not care anymore about the thing. Hrm, well I am feeling better already.

You see, I tend to get really depressed at certin times and right now is one of them. I blame it on my inability to really like my life. I may say that things are going alright because they are but in reality I am just an envious piece of shit. I want a different life than the one that I have. A lot of bad things have happened and I wish I could go back in time to stop them. (wheehh...Much better am i feeling...) But one of the biggest things is that I have a major want to be someone in this world. Sometimes it is an actor, a singer, a writer, or a journalist...just something that I can feel like I am worth something to the world. I dunno. Many of my dreams are just that dreams of a world that is nothing like what I dream it to be. But I really want to do something other than what I was.

But I guess one of the biggest things that I have problems with is child actors. Hell some of them may have done a really good job but to me it is a mark of my failure as a human being. They are being something while I am not and that is unacceptable to me and I get depressed. That is the root my my current problem. Oh well. I want to be them and I know that I might not ever be them. I guess I should just try and maybe i will be something someday. *Sigh* I think I like this. I feel much better. I thank you for allowing me to vent and to tell something of myself. I hope that i didn't bore you or just creep you out. Many thanks and happy days.
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Saturday, February 28, 2004

   My life is a strange event, indeed...
I lvoe to talk to my self at times. I think that times are full of hatred and I think that things should change. At least that is how I feel at the moment. So my friends. How is your life going. Please comment because sometimes I think that I have no friends.

HAH! Why am I talking with so much angst. Hrm... Maybe I should stop before I get myself depressed.

Happy days friends,
Soliar the Wise yet Inept.
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Friday, February 27, 2004

   The world is gray...
Okay...i think that life is really slow at the moment. I am still working on my room and I am trapped in a never ending cycle of nothingness. At least that I how I feel.

I am really bored at the moment and I have nothing really to look forward to. I think I need a hobby.

I hope that you have a purpose my readers because I cannot find mine at the moment. I just want to sleep and wake up when the next Shonen Jump issue comes....ARGHH!

Quote by me:
"They have the Passion of the Christ, but what about the passion of Soliar! I wanna passion!"

I feel so heathen just typin what I said a long time ago...
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Tuesday, February 24, 2004

   Love is in the air...
Okay...the subject really doesn't have much to do with my life. I guess it was something to put down and it works. I think....

Anyways this latest of times has been great. I had a great time at Kadrilla's church on Fri. (love ya K!) and set for the musical was great (paint wars abound!) Sunday had to have been the worst day and I had a great time playing FFVIII and having Youth Choir rehersal at church. Gosh, life is great. I love everything that is happening except for the death of my cello teachers dad. I love life!

Okay...well yesterday was cool, I decided out of the spur of the moment to clean my room. I think I should get home so I can do so. Yeah! I want my new...sorta, room!

Well I gotta go, many things to do many things to see....bye

Soliar the Wise yet Inept

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Thursday, February 19, 2004

   First and Second
Okay the title is a little wierd, but I guess it is the feeling that I am feeling at the moment.

I have recently found a website called FFMages. This is the first site I have found that actually liked FFVIII. For this I am happy because I want to play it. I am a new FF(Final Fantasy) fan and I guess I should go further than the brilliant FFX.

That explains the first and second part. First to give a good rating and the second FF game I am to play. I love me.

Okay enough of my narssissm. Sorry, I can't spell either.

Anyways, Today was a day I guess! Of course it was a day but i guess that is all I can really say. This week hasn't been the best. Today has to have been the best time I have had.

In orchestra class I had to play with the cello choir. At first I was unhappy because our previous session sucked. Sorry David and Michi, but neither of you bring the excitement of playing the insturment that KP brings. KP was back. It is so much funner when she is around because things tend to fall together when she is around. I will surely miss her. Anyways, the rehersal was awesome. We are going to play a cello version of the Entertainer by Joplin and some slow operatic song that is from the classical period. Both are fun and nice to play. I just wish I had some more talent w/ my cello. Hah! C'est my fault because I never practice.

My other classes were not as good. Theatre and Web sucked. I finally finished my web test but i was so out of it, I think I did really bad. I really hate that class right now. I want the past back! Theatre sucks as well becuase we are doing another pantomime. I HATE pantomimes. This time however I got stuck with Ashely. Ashely is a nice girl but please I need someone who is less like my self or nothing will get done. She like myself hates to take the initative. ARGHH!

French was fun but I am really unsure whetier I want to continue with the class. I love the language but I really don't like the class anymore. I really need to start studying more or else I will definately fall down in the class. I need a life.

I am still searching for a niche. I need something that I can do for the rest of my life. I need something to love. At the moment i just love to sit and do nothing. I need a life...something to do something to be. I need help.

Well I think this was a good start. I think this myOtaku is my new place for a online punching bag. Thank you Clair for your timely advice!

By the by, sience this is an anime place I need more anime to absorb. I am so lacking in the anime department. I currently have two dvd's and only one of the anime's do i really like. I have Argentosoma v.1 and Noir v.1. I want to sell Noir. I want more Argentosoma and some Big O and others which I have heard so much good things about. I want some anime!!!!

*sigh* Have a nice day readers. Let not my rants bother you...bye
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