Wednesday, January 9, 2008

just read below please ^^

The following paragraph will be the first thing that comes to my mind. I WILL TYPE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. Here I go: Hi jack how are you today? i don't know leave me the fuck alone. why would I leave you alone? because I don't feel like talking. why don't you? what the hell is up with all your questions? Can't you tell I want to be alone? just leave me the fuck alone. I think something is bothering you. you are in my head, you know what is wrong. maybe it is on a deeper level. well it isn't where would it be? i don't know, why don't you get help? i don't want fucking help!!! you just can't stop asking for help! where would I get help? what about craig? what the fuck is he gonna do? agree with me that vannessa is a bitch and give me sympathy? I need the kind of help like that one beatles song, you know, "happiness is a warm gun". So, just so I make sure what is wrong, tell me. *sigh* dad lost the trial for custody over brandon. are you sure? that isn't just a cover up for what is really wrong? I don't know!!! who are you supposed to be anyway? my concious? yes, yes I am. I tell you right and wrong and I am pretty sure that family issues is not only what is ticking you off. perhaps confusion? a little, but where do you get off telling me? let me guess, you are gonna lecture me. maybe what is pissing me off is you, my concious, did you think of that? you can't hurt me, jack. I am you. You have no problem hurting me!!!! dammit jack, you are so stubborn. what is bugging you? idk! I think it is my baby brother, but maybe it is just teenage hormones.... perhaps vannessa was right... no she is a bitch and a prostitute. so do you think you are getting anywhere? well, I hate this so called "love", what is to like? how am I supposed to know when it is real? ugh I have a headache. we are getting no where, I suggest help. no one can help me... not the help I want. sure I can talk to people, then what? my problems exist no matter what! I want to go hurt someone, bad... just gouge some eyeballs crush some teeth. ok, I have alot of conversations in my head and I wrote one down for you guys just now. here are some random words: death tomato teacher court hatred frustration gun friends television hypnotism light dark yin yang school torture computer relief agony guitar becky hell medicine vannessa brandon failure insomnia numbers hysteria fuck thought cloud teen broken unnecessary pain bus blood scars knive ego hair eyes love book music pencil reliving depression rejection alone sun hope bitch demonic heavenly what do they mean? I don't know... maybe my "conscious" knows.

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