myOtaku.com: smexykazekage

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1993-06-15
Gender
• Female
Member Since
• 2007-02-07
Occupation
• Professional Procrastinator
Real Name
• Mariel

Personal

Achievements
• Figuring how to log on each time..
Anime Fan Since
• Forever
Favorite Anime
• Death Note, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Fruits Basket, Azumanga Daioh!, Naruto, FullMetal Alchemist, Prince of Tennis, Darker than Black, Black Blood Brothers, Bleach, Trinity Blood, Sailor Moon, Bobobo, Gin Tama, Ouran High School Host Club
Goals
• Hope people notice my drawings
Hobbies
• Drawing, reading
Talents
• Drawing , I suppose

myOtaku.com: smexykazekage

My Avatar

This is Mariel, aka The Smexykazekage.

A Thousand Dreamers - Mugiwara Kaizokudan

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Oh f**k...
Current mood: [Frustrated]

So it's been 2.. 3.. 4..(?) days since I said I would be doing that 100 theme challenge...

...

..And I haven't even started anything yet.

I don't have ideas... I lack ideas.. I have no imagination.. Where'd it go..? Was it there to begin with..?
Oh geezus, I'm f**king up already!! DDDDD:

And apparently you have to be witty and a comedian to make it through this life without being alone... I'm so, so, so very f**ked. D:

I've been so different online and at school lately I've noticed.. I don't feel like myself anymore..!

It's like I lost myself or something..

At school, I've been acting like a total 'tard.. I fall asleep so much and I've been getting very nervous in my classes to the point that my cheeks start to burn and my hands are shaking! It's never happened before!
I act like I have no personality and I don't know why.

Online, I don't have much things to say to my friends anymore; my mind goes blank and everything I say comes out noob-ish..
I miss having conversations with Mongoose (Nicole) and Andrea and Kyrianne and Erin and Catherine.. but I have nothing to say and I feel so stupid for it.

This afternoon I have to go to a sleepover that someone invited me to, but I get the feeling she invited me because she thinks it's required since she invited my sister first... And I don't know how this thing is going to go and I'm getting worried. 3:

I feel as if my mouth has been sewn shut and that my heart has been beaten up. It's so frustrating, so frustrating.

And I complain too f**kin' much! There's something wrong with me.. I get afraid to talk to people about how I feel because to me it's the equivalent of complaining too much..
I'm just typing to feel better, typing to feel better... Typing to feel better...

I guess I'll go watch something or whatever..

EDIT: I also forgot to mention that all these art thieves and "tracers"/copiers on the Otaku have been frustrating me too. I'm not even going to go into the art thief part because it's just f**kin' retarded, but these tracers/copiers.. I know that if people see a picture they like, they try to copy it from their mind and draw it. I've done it before too, back then when I was a Narutard and now when I reference poses; but PEOPLE, COME ON. AT LEAST TRY TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE. YOU SHOULDN'T FORGET IT.

...
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