Monday, November 3, 2008

C://Documents/Tori/anxious_mode.exe

Today I felt extremely anxious and nauseous. I woke up feeling that way and the feeling only intensified when I got to school. xP Brad wanted to leave just for fourth hour because he couldn't stand Mr. Kinder at the moment and he said that Mr. Kinder makes him nervous. x__x So my mom called my out and as soon as I was out of school, I felt instantly better. I have no idea why. But as soon as I was back home and alone (we went to the Waffle House and then he hung out for an hour), I went to sleep then woke up feeling sick again.

I had a small anxiety attack, too. I have no idea why I'm so anxious, I just am. And, the feeling of anxiety and nausea keeps going away in tiny spurts then coming back but not worse than before or anything. Like, right now I feel the same as I did when I woke up but I feel like I'm going to puke and I'm tired yet I don't want to sleep. Huh...

I wonder what it's a sign of. '___'

Feeling: Anxious, nauseous.
Tunes: My fan.
Drinking: Nothing.
Eating: Nothing.
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Saturday, October 25, 2008

C://Documents/Tori/paper_planes_mode.exe

This site died.

What happened? o__o

I like my song... 8D


Feeling: Bored.
Tunes: Paper Planes - M.I.A.
Drinking: Mountain Dew.
Eating: Nothing.
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

C://Documents/Tori/sick_mode.exe

I pretty much just noticed that I ganked your basic entry layout, Charlie. D: I'm a horrible person...

At any rate, today was ridiculously stressful and got even worse after my stupid art teacher wrote me up for "not doing work in his class and having a 10%." Because, obviously, all those projects I showed him were not work. I was so pissed. He wouldn't even come to me to tell me that he didn't record my grades, as usual. And then I asked why I had a 10% and we got in this huge fight and he sent me to the office because apparently he had already wrote out the referral? I didn't know what the fuck to do. I was beyond the point of angry where I can't control my tears and I was in the office crying and I heard Mrs. Lassing telling Mrs. Bealy, "There's this girl out there and she's crying and I dunno what to do!" Aha... Mrs. Bealy just told me to come in and we talked about it and she was sooooo nice to me.

I really need out of that class but I can't because I only have one quarter left of it.

At any rate. When I got out of school, my mom called me while I was looking around for my ride (who had ditched me) and she told me that she had called the school. Apparently if I get all my four missing assignments in and show him the grades on my other ones that he'll apologize to me in front of the class. My mom asked me if there was something wrong with him because he told her about how he was acting toward me and how he never records grades. I just giggled.

As for the ditched ride, my bestie saved me~ 8D Thanks Bridgette. If I had missed the bus and had no other ride, I'm sure another crying fit would have ensued just because I was that stressed out.

I mean, really..

Oh, but I did finish Lord of the Flies. I have this curse where my favorite character dies in anything I read and watch...or play. And this time my favorite character reminded me of my boyfriend. = 3= Which may seem silly but I can't help it. Aaaand he got murdered. And I cried. Bah. But, it's a reeeaaaally good book. I'ma try to watch the movie. >____> Haha.

Feeling: Headache.
Tunes: Nothing. Watching Goosebumps.
Drinking: Nothing.
Eating: Chili.
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Sunday, October 12, 2008

C://Documents/Tori/wtf_mode.exe

Okay, I have to start off with a random "wtf is going on here?" kind of rant. Apparently Birt, my ex, hates me again. Or, she acts like that in front of her friends at least and says that in front of them. Brad told me while we were at Six Flags and I was just like, "e___e Really?" What the fuck did I do this time? I'm actually not even worried about it, it just confuses me.

So, Bridgette, you might want to get that shit figured out before your birthday or someone is gonna be missing. And it won't be me. And if she comes there starting shit, she'll go missing.

I'm so sick of her. I bet she's blaming me because of her break up or some stupid shit like that.

Lulz. But any ways! Yeah! Me, Brad, AC, and Bobbi went to Six Flags on Friday. Well, we got out of school early and AC just came home with me because I was making fried rice~ Om nom nom. -not cooking with a wok again.- But, yeah. And then somehow we both passed out on my couch, all curled up in weird positions. Lulz. And then we woke up and got ready and left.

Strangely, I was not chased by zombies as promised by the radio commercial. And there was only one haunted house. But, the roller coasters were freaking awesome at night. They go faster. * 0* And like.. xD when we got onto the Ninja, I was like, "oooh no. OOOOOH NO." because it was so much like Final Destination 3. Do not want. Lulz.

And then we went into this haunted house and while shuffling through the line thing, just the four of us, me and Brad were clinging to each other and I was like, "If someone pops up, I will shank them!!" and then we got into the house and I see this person standing there and I just shoved Brad at him then ran into the other room. Lol, basically we were running and screaming the whole entire time. Then there was this guy who was standing in this strobe light room and we had just gotten chased off toward that room and Bobbi was like, "OH MY GOD. TURN AROUND!" and I was like, "NONONONO WE CAN'T TURN AROUND! THERE WAS THAT GUY BEHIND US!" and somehow we lost AC and... xD Aaaah, it was fun.

Haha. 8D That's all~

edit
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Fucking key board SMASH.

Something is fucking wrong with my computer again besides the obvious... My I key is all fucked up. There's no longer even a key on the stupid board. Oooh no. I was told that you could clean these things but you had to be careful. Well, I was. And then it broke. And I lost two of the little rubber and plastic things for it.

And then I accidentally hit the bottom of my laptop and noooow I'm all riddled with errors. Apparently I have spyware and my avast!anti-virus isn't on and it's fucking up and blaaaah.

I kinda wish my desktop computer was fixed.


Feeling: Meh. Headache. Annoyed.
Tunes: Nothing. Watching Sugar and Spice. Batman Begins.
Drinking: Nothing.
Eating: Nothing.
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Thursday, October 9, 2008

C://Documents/Tori/update_mode.exe


I haven't updated in a while. I died. Boo. But I really like that icon. Tee hee. I madez it a while ago. I love the original picture. I dunno why it amuses me... Any hoo.

I don't really have much to talk about, really. Nothing exciting is going on... But everything in art seems to be going better. Seems being the key word here. Except now that all that has happened, I seem more violent and hateful then I used to be. And really argumentative. But it's not my fault that people choose to suddenly get super defensive around me when I say something. It's not like I say anything offensive or bad or anything, they just like.. over-react and get angry over it.

e___e That's been happening too much. I try to be nice about it but oh no.

People are stupid. Blah.

I think I'm becoming very anti-social.

At any rate. I'm going to Six Flags tomorrow. Yay? Haha. It opens at six p.m. and closes at twelve a.m. I wish it would open earlier because we get out at twelve-thirty tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm going to do besides shower and nap. Maybe I'll just have a movie day of some sort by myself until it's time for me to get ready or something. I dunno.

I've been breaking out lately. Perhaps it's because of stress or something of that sort? That would make sense. I have a D- in Chemistry when I had a D before I had to move into his tutoring class during tiger time. Mr. Smith's tutoring was, yanno, supposed to help me and bring my grade up. I've done all my work but he hasn't exactly helped me with anything. Like, today, we were doing this stupid quadratic formulas and I, honestly, do not know how to do it to save the life of me. I raised my hand and told him I didn't know how and then he told me I did. This little banter went on for a while until I slammed my book shut and said, "You know, if you're not going to teach me, then just forget it."

Really.

How the fuck do I have a D- in that class?

And I just now found out that Chemistry isn't mandatory. Especially if you're not getting your College Prep. WHICH I'M NOT! This would have been essential if I knew this at the beginning of the quarter.

Blah. :|

All my posts have seem to be rants lately.


Feeling: Bored.
Tunes: Kountry Gentleman - Family Force Five
Drinking: Nothing.
Eating: Nothing.


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Thursday, October 2, 2008

A fire. You should consider dying in one.

I'm so sick of this class. You NO longer make art enjoyable. You pile five or six projects a day on us and expect us to finish them in a week. Are you stupid? You're just a heroin reject who is so wound tight because you know your job is in danger.

But, don't take that shit out on me, you dick. I don't do anything to you. Sure, maybe the second week I said something because you pissed me off and I just couldn't hold my tongue, but I've tried to be nice to you. I've tried to make amends. But, no. You don't want that. You are the scum on the bottom of my shoe. Stop fucking with me. I haven't done anything to your mentally retarded happy ass and yet you insist on picking on me, on singling me out. Stop it!! I just want this semester to get over it so I can get out. AND I HAVE TO TAKE AS MANY ART CLASSES AS POSSIBLE AND I'M STUCK WITH YOU. I don't see why you insist on being a douche to me. I try to be nice. Seriously. And what you did today?

Say something to be again and I'll tell you to your face that you are a dick hole who SHOULD considering dying in a fire. And if not a fire, you should get anally raped by some large man and then your head bashed into the brick wall.

You single handily ruined my great mood. You ruined my passive-aggressive attitude. I don't hate people, it's not in my nature. I don't wish death on people, it's bad karma and could come back to get me in the long run. Way to go.

Leave me alone. Or else I'll report your happy ass for student-teacher harassment. And guess what? I'm going to turn in my drawing book. You fuckwit.

/rant

In other news, I'm in this roleplay as Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd and I'm not entirely sure if I can post on other threads. I'm not entirely sure if I want to since there's a freaking Lucy now. I could really go without a Lucy.

Ugh.

It's been a bad week.

Feeling: Pissed off.
Tunes: The radio.
Drinking: Nothing.
Eating: Nothing.
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Monday, September 29, 2008

C://Documents/Tori/amusement_mode.exe

Aha. I had just had to navigate/drive my moms dead/zombie car down the driveway while Lazarus (her greek boyfriend, who she swears up and down is not her boyfriend) and she pushed from behind. I dunno why, but it amused me. I was just like "o 3o" as they pushed me down the drive way.

Ahaaa.

Today was picture day. I'm pretty sure my picture turned out.. bad.. Lulz. I looked like I stepped out of the eighties though, apparently. If I ever dress like that again, you guys will get pics. Rly. Haha. But, yeah. The lady this year really didn't care how you looked or anything. She was just like "e__e Smile. -snap.- Done." Meh. Whatever.

And then, today, I was riding home with Dylan(since he is now my ride >D) and his brother, Logan, got me one of those cigar cigarettes. D: Do not want. They seem to smoke smoother than regular cigarettes but the taste. Uuuugh. And then Logan was like, "Every girl I know that smokes always licks the filter."
"I lick my lips before I put the cigarette in? o__o But maybe I do lick the filter. I dunno."
"I think it's a habit."
"Maybe..."

I had a scary, scary virus scare this weekend. It was exactly how my old computer was acting before I eventually just left it because there was nothing I could do. ; ~; I was scared. And then I did this nifty little thing on this program I have and everything seems to be fixed! Thank the computer gods. x___X Srsly.

Oh, yeah, Charlie. We do have a mural of a mountain. With random dumb things on it. It really makes no sense, but I'll take a picture of it. We have all kinds of murals every where. Mostly of tigers though, since our mascot is the tiger. The one that I see every day apparently looks like the Exorcist. Only in tiger form? Ahaha. According to Kim and Bridgette.

Haha. Your doctor was most definitely a vampire. Carlisle from Twilight maybe? Oh, I am going to get shot down for that.

D: And, yeah. I'm actually really petite. I mean, my hands might look normal sized to some people but they're seriously small. x__X Not like freakishly small but. I dunno. xD

Feeling: Hungry.
Tunes: Hemorrhage - Fuel
Drinking: Tea.
Eating: Nothing.
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Friday, September 26, 2008

Yep, I did it. It was my first time today too... :B It wasn't bad. My arm was so tiny that they couldn't wrap the blood pressure thing around it. And then I had this nice lady, Tish, doing everything for me. And she stuck my finger and was all "Your fingers are so tiny, hunny! I'm afraid I'm gonna break them! Oh, baby, are you okay?" Lol. She kept calling me honey, baby, and sugar. :'D

I don't really have a problem with needles.

I watched them put it into my vein and I didn't even make a face or anything. No, I'm serious. AC was by my side the whole time because.. Well.. xD They sat us across from each other while we were giving blood on accident and she got done before me, so she waited for me. :BB Nah ha.

But, I did get tired and have a small headache afterwards. But, they gave me cool green bandages! Lulz. As soon as I came home, I smoked the rest of the cigarette I started that morning then went to bed. And slept for four hours. No lie.

The weird thing is... is that I bought the cigarettes yesterday, really, really wanting them. And then, as soon as I got them, I no longer had the desire to smoke them. What is that? Haha.

Mm... well... it's gonna be another boring Friday night. For the past four Friday nights, I've been left all on my lonesome.

Huh. And, on a random note, my ex has seemed to come off as so... slutacious. o__O Not like a slut, but. Apparently she made out with her bestie, Kim, in the cafeteria this morning. =___= Then I had this stupid dream where I was with a bunch of people infront of the main-traffic stairwell where the mural of the mountain and the door to the rooftop is by. And I don't remember what happened, but she glomped me and someone said we were dating again. And her eyes sparkled and she was like, "Can we? Can we?!" and I was like, ":/ I have a boyfriend."
"He doesn't have to know!"
"Ahaha...-nervous laughter.-" I'm so proud of my dream self. xDD

Feeling: Meh.
Tunes: Nothing -- Watching Ocean's Twelve.
Drinking: Mountain Dew.
Eating: A roast beef sammich from the Panera Bread Co.

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Monday, September 22, 2008

It's meeeeeee. Haha. The picture doesn't really show my hair cut very well and it also makes my hair look short (because of the way I styled it) but~ I love it so. :P Haha.

Well... xD All I can really say is that Pointfest was FREAKING awesome. Tuh huh. I stood for four hours in the very front of the Jaigermeister White stage for Ludo. ; o; The drummer is so cute. And he waved at me and smiled and uidghibn it made me so happy. He's so adorable, omg. I luffles him. And, of course, they rocked my socks off. I also saw Sick Puppies, Saving Abel, Black Tide, Brookroyal, and Miser(mizer?) on that stage (or the stage next to it) too~ The lead singer of Brookroyal saved my life and gave me a free bottle of water then signed it and signed my shoe. The awesome guitarist gave me a hug and we talked for a bit and kept waving to each other during the show. Lulz. He signed my bottle too. So, then, I bought a c.d. and became a forever fan because of how awesome they were.

And the guitarist of Black Tide had this HUGE fro. And he winked at me when I grinned at him. Haha. I'm such a pimp. He was pretty cute too~ :P

On the main stage, I saw everyone but Seether because Brad wanted to leave because we were looking out at the sea of cars and he flipped out because we had no idea where we parked. And we didn't want to walk around trying to find it while all the drunks were about. Yeah... that wouldn't be very fun.

I was so cooooold after the sun went down. D; I had to spoon between Brad and AC on the ground for warmth and some guy thought me and Brad were dating and he was all, "YEAH! You know it's a fun time when you're fucking your girlfriend." Wtf? I lol'd. And then pushed Brad away from me. Haha. I'm so mean.

Then we went hunting for his car. Once found, we drove to the Kitchen to get something to eat and god. I couldn't stop laughing. Me, AC, and Brad both couldn't. Brad was trying to say something about this waitress we had because we were trying to figure out why an old lady was working so late and he just started laughing really hard. So he, AC, and I laughed for a good twenty minutes straight. Later on I found out that Brad was trying to say, "She works late because her cats are gonna try to eat her! She knows what time it is! 'Oh lawds, it's night time! I need to hurry up and go to work before those damn devil cats eat me!'" Haha. He's such a dork.

Today's my last day of smoking... apparently. Haha. :c I'm kinda half and half on wanting to stop. Eeeeh. Oh well.

And... HERE'S MY ART PROJECT that took me two weeks to do. It's kinda crappy looking because of my camera but it looks SO much better than it does in this pic. I'd try to scan it but... it's to big. Haha.

Feeling: Hungry.
Tunes: All the Same - Sick Puppies
Drinking: Nothing.
Eating: Nothing.
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Friday, September 19, 2008

Tee hee. An old icon I made. :B I need to make some more... One day~ -looks to the far away sunset, eyes sparkling.- One day... -whispers dramatically, curling fist in determination.-

Ahahaha. Any ways.


I'm so glad today is over~ It makes me happy. Because tomorrow is POOOOOINTFEEEEEST! D: I have to wake up at seven-thirty in the freaking morning, however, and I won't be back until eleven or twelve my time.

Oh, and, the cream on my fucking cookie is I started my period. Today. I knew I would! I knew I'd start before pointfest, it always happens. GWAAAAR! BVFUIBGFBUIHGNBGNCXJNZLYROFUYBGN KEYBOARD SMASH!!!

Shoop. I'm almost done with my art project though. Yay? Haha. I have an F in drawing because I'm so far behind. :| Because of that drawing. But, whatever. I hate Mr. Zimmer.

It's also National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Arrr. I've been doing it some much that my throat hurts and I had to stop. Haha.

Any ways... I had to take a personality test in sociology class. I dunno why I had to take it in sociology but. Heh. It's me to a T. It makes me sad faise. :c

-You have a great need for other people to like and admire you.
-You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage.
-Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside.
-You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.
-You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others statements without satisfactory proof.
-You have a tendency to be critical of yourself.
-At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.
-At times you are extroverted, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved.
-While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.

Take Test Here

Haha. So, any ways. My ex and I made up. Again, I guess. But this time is for keepsies? Haha. I dunno. The first two times she said she wanted to be friends again that said she hated me and told other people that she hated me and that I was her enemy. But, now we're writing notes back and fourth. It's kinda... I dunno. She hung out today in art with me and Brad because he and Kim always go in there and what not. I was talking like a pirate and she was cracking up. Sooo... I guess that's good? But, she still seemed kinda reluctant and I guess it's because it was awkward. We haven't talked to each other for more than half a year. :/

Nyeh. Well. As long as all the drama is done. I don't mind having her as my friend again. :B

"LET'S GO PLAY YU GI OH ON MOTORCYCLES! ....Well... it sounded like a good idea to me..."

Feeling: Excited!
Tunes: The cricket. Which sounds extremely close to my room... And the t.v.
Drinking: Mountain Dew.
Eating: Nothing.
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