myOtaku.com: shivadancing

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1987-03-18
Gender
• Female
Location
• Vermont
Member Since
• 2004-12-15
Occupation
• student
Real Name
• Ellie

Personal

Achievements
• Being proud of at least 2 things I've drawn/inked.
Anime Fan Since
• 6th grade...1998 (I think)
Favorite Anime
• Gundam Wing, Tokyo Godfathers, Akira, Spirited Away, Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo
Goals
• learn Japanese
Hobbies
• fanfiction, art, reading, annoying people
Talents
• being self-depricating and being 5'2" tall. go me!

myOtaku.com: shivadancing

My Avatar

I'm the same height as Hyde from L'arc-en-ciel. I'm a little bit shorter than Kyo from Dir en grey. I'm taller than T.M.Revolution.

Those facts pretty much just told you my music tastes (except add Miyavi in there--I'm starting to warm up to him):P

"Nationalism is like the Matrix, you can't escape it! I'm Morpheus! Try to be free! You're Neo!" --Prof. Esselstrom

What else is there? O yeah. I dye my hair red. Like the color Die (Dir en grey) used have as his hair color. I wear glasses. That's pretty much all there is to me. ^^

And I have a lip ring.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

im breaking...i can feel it. i know that there is a very high chance that I wont survive this summer. Mentally and emotionally at least. Physically...who knows.

I dont want to go home

I promised Kao-chan that I would be strong for him though...I need to be strong for both of them...and i could, i think, if i stayed here. At home though...itll be harder to communcate...my mother will say something to me at the wrong time, and it will shatter me.

I cant help him with this problem and it hurts me. A lot.

Its part of what is breaking me.

ihopeshecallsmetonightandthathedoes
tooandhetellsmethatitisallokay. icanthandlethis
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

the two tattoos are the same size~
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Monday, May 8, 2006

I feel like i am not good enough or something...I cant make either of them happy, i cant make either of them trust me...and its all I want.

He seems convinced that I am going to hurt him and abuse him...and both of them are just unhappy.

I dont know...it hurts a lot though...and she is like practically ignoring me now. Well, not really, but still...

I just want to make them happy. hide fucking dammit make it stop hurting.

"I am just waiting........." wtf does that mean? you are waiting for me to break my promise to you? you are waiting for me to hurt you? you are waiting for me to leave you?

Why the hell cant you just trust me...every single time I can tell that you dont trust me, it kills me a little on the inside. Im slowly dieing on the inside...because of you. This is killing me

I love you to death and back again, why cant you just trust me? why cant you let me make you happy? why cant you believe me?!

it hurts...so much....
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