Thursday, February 22, 2007

[This is for musicians]

A Player's Guide for Keeping Conductors in Line 1.Never be satisfied with the tuning note. Fussing about the pitch takes attention away from the podium and puts it on you, where it belongs. 2.When raising the music stand, be sure the top comes off and spills the music on the floor. 3.Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, or a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is under pressure. 4.Look the other way just before cues. 5.Never have the proper mute, a spare set of strings, or extra reeds. Percussion players must never have all their equipment. 6.Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal favor. 7.Pluck the strings as if you are checking tuning at every opportunity, especially when the conductor is giving instructions. Brass players: drop mutes. Percussionists have a wide variety of dropable items, but cymbals are unquestionably the best because they roll around for several seconds. 8.Loudly blow water from the keys during pauses (Horn, oboe and clarinet players are trained to do this from birth). 9.Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not playing at the time. (If he catches you, pretend to be correcting a note in your part.) 10.At dramatic moments in the music (while the conductor is emoting) be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing. 11.Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know you don't have the music. 12.Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally. 13.Tell the conductor, "I can't find the beat." Conductors are always sensitive about their "stick technique", so challenge it frequently. 14.As the conductor if he has listened to the Bernstein recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask "Is this the first time you've conducted this piece?" 15.When rehearsing a difficult passage, screw up your face and shake your head indicating that you'll never be able to play it. Don't say anything: make him wonder. 16.If your articulation differs from that of others playing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage just before the concert. 17.Find an excuse to leave rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to pack up and fidget. 18.During applause, smile weakly or show no expression at all. Better yet, nonchalantly put away your instrument. Make the conductor feel he is keeping you from doing something really important. (With a laughable ode to Donn Laurence Mills. Dude, your stick technique smells as bad as a burning viola. Just kidding. You made me laugh.)

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

[Just because I don't want to rant about anything else]

I can’t wait— The Cleveland Orchestra Mozart: Symphony No. 28, K. 200 Sortomme: Viola Concerto - commissioned work, World Premiere Tchaikovsky: Symphony No. 4 It’s going to rock. Franz Welser-Möst is conducting.

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Monday, February 5, 2007

Just some mad awesomeness. And we didn't have school today, which is lovely. And better yet, the Gods of Winter have given me another day. Glad to be from the North. Superbowl Sunday was sweet. I spent the evening with my string quartet and not the TV. How do you like that, America? Defying standards in every way.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

[No seriously, people watch this, it's hilarious]

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

[Blah]

Well, I'm off to string coaching soon. Hmm. Probably with the violists tonight. And yeah. As usual. Nothing to say. What do you people like to read about? Anything in particular?

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Friday, January 19, 2007

[...]

Since it's early, I'm a bit tired, and have absolutetly nothing to say, just comment on whatever you want, however you're feeling, or anything you want to say.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

{Sorry for the hiatus}

I really don’t have much to say…I guess that I should be overworked and tired, because of exams around the corner, but to be entirely honest with both my audience and myself: I haven’t studied one bit. Anything anyone wants to say? Go ahead and say it. This is a place that supports randomness.

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Thursday, January 4, 2007

[I'm going to hell; I didn't give money to the Special Olympics]

How's everyone doing? I'm exausted from the little time I've had back at school, but that's a sell out; I figured it would have happened. And the randomest of all questions. You know those people who come to your door and claim to be collecting money: i.e.: fundraising. Do you trust them?

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Friday, December 29, 2006

Hello everyone. How's life been treating you? And thanks for the sugestions/opinions on the previous post. Maybe everyone on the Otaku should read that and start making changes to their sites. Just a simple question. It's almost New Year's, right? What would you change for 2007?

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

[Filling the empty space]

Please go to this URL. Thank you.

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